Whatever Cadaver Rollover Moreover Disorder..Life and Its Rhymes~

Cheers for the last weekend of the year~

2011-12-29T21:47:00.000-08:00

I have the longest hiatus from the blog. Oh well, this is a non-committal relationship, it’s like visiting the coffee shop situated in a place far away, where when you have the time, you will come visit. And it made you reminisce the times you spent at the coffee shop. Sounds like a weird analogy but I am entitled to write whatever I want in my blog. Ha ha.

So, 2011 is ending. I have read my 2010 End of Year post and I know I can never beat 2010. Not this year though. However, 2011 is a very special year in its own way. Let’s do self reflection today shall we:

Work – I am still figuring out this area. I still hate the question ‘how do you see yourself in 5 years’ but I think I am going to be alright. I am not as scared as I was last year.

Life – I am forced to grow up. I realized that I am a paranoid and spoilt kid (much like my cat Baby Odd) but it is a wakeup call to remind myself that I am indeed alone in the world. Independence is the only way forward. Still not fully Miss Independent yet, but taking baby steps. It’s time to start learn on how to be an adult. And it’s time to be outside my comfort zone and be bold.

Relationship – I put in 2010, it’s a confusing time for love. This time around, I am going to put, praying for the best outcome. We can dream and work on it, in the end I believe in Him. I just want to be happy.

I have put my 2011 resolutions in my Iphone note and I am glad to fulfill 80% of them. I’m going to write new ones as I am corny like that. I would say the best highlight of my year was the chronology of events that happened throughout the year. I was in a very deep trench once, and once you reached the bottom, the only way was up. Happy that I am going to end 2011 with the thing I love the most: My Families.

Cheers for the year that has happened, and I’ll look forward for 2012, where there will be new obstacles, new adventures and hopefully, a new and better ME!

P/S: On the other note, I visited Japan and I loved it! I intended to come back =).

Just Because my Last Post was in April

2011-07-31T04:34:00.000-07:00

Hello Blog.

I have been abandoning you. Lately I really have problem in expressing myself in words. Maybe I think the world shouldn't have to know about what my thoughts and rants, or I am just becoming a sheltered soul.

What happened?

Life happens. This is a transition period that hopefully will change me to a better person.

Travel wise? Well, since April, I've been to Kuala Terengganu, Kuching and Redang (Cuti-Cuti Malaysia :D).

I have always liked Terengganu, I think it's an awesome state (besides my hometown) and Redang was simply a rejuvenating break from the usual routines. I wished that the corals could be better preserved (by US!). And I wish I have a beach home overseeing the blue green ocean (Daydreaming is free!)

Kuching is now my new hometown. First visit and I loved it! Great food, people and it ain't a busy town. Driving a day in KL made me thankful for living in Seremban. Really made me realize how much I dislike driving. I still have hopes for a better public transport thought.

Ramadhan is approaching. I hope we will fully utilise this holy month. Cleanse the body and soul. Self discovery and betterment.

I am hoping for an awesomer last quarter of the year! Let's hope for different adventures to commence!

Salam Ramadhan Kareem peeps!:)

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

2011-04-05T09:22:00.000-07:00

"Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?

Travel the world and the seven seas

Everybody's looking for something.."

Yes,everyone is looking for something. Something to make their life meaningful.

We are in the never ending journey of discovering new things about ourself. Mostly we want to find happiness. To be at ease.

When I was growing up, I had a lot of dreams. I wrote fictions which translated subconsciously into what my heart desired. I've tried to achieve, but I failed a lot of times. My self esteem was not at the best of times.

Came university years, trials and errors became part and parcel of life. Lessons were learnt.

Came working world, it's about discovering about myself, looking back on what I have done with this life. It's all about assessing and planning.

We live by Allah's will. I am thankful to be given whatever He has given me. The world seems sweet enough to be living at times, and a place where you just want to hide when things go wrong. Fortunes and Misfortune, they are tests. I'm praying that I'll pass these tests. Amin.

It goes back one round to my question: What am I looking for?

I'm looking for answers that will let me better understand myself and other people, so I can help make a change somehow. That is why I love travelling.

I might started to travel because it seems fun (and I envy those who did when I was growing up), but as I travel from one place to another, it never fails to amaze me how different and unique a country could be.I would take pictures and videos and watched them back once I'm home to keep reminding myself that we live in a world of awesomeness. How great is the Creator of this world that able to pull off such diversities in physiques, language, culture, landscape etc.

There must be a reason why we're so different from one another, and it is all stated in Quran.

Qur'an 49:13

O mankind! Lo! We have created you male and female,
and have made you nations and tribes that ye may know one another.
Lo! the noblest of you, in the sight of Allah, is the best in conduct.

Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware.

In verses too numerous to mention, the Qur'an invites one to reflect upon the signs Of creation: the heavens, the shining stars and their astonishing celestial movements, and the cosmic order which rules over them all. Similarly, the Qur'an urges one to reflect upon the creation of the earth, the seas, the mountains, the desert, and the wonders contained below the surface of the earth, the difference between night and day and the changing cycle of seasons. It urges mankind to meditate on the extraordinary creation of the plants and the order and symmetry governing their growth, as well as the multiplicity of the animal kingdom.

The Qur'an commands man to travel in the world in order to witness other cultures and to investigate the social orders, history and philosophies of past people. Thus it calls man to a study of the natural sciences, mathematics, philosophy, the arts and all sciences available to man, and to study them for the benefit of man and the well-being of society

Credit : http://www.al-islam.org/quraninislam/4.htm

Hence, I'll use my experience to teach myself to be better and hopefully to share them with the world. And finally, to be able to do that, I'll need to travel more. When there's a will there's a way right?

Yes my fellow friends, if you want to help me (as I won't force anyone), please click on the following link and click 'Like' at the end of the entry.

http://mastraveller.com/WhatsNew/IMASTravel/Blogs/Malaysia/2011/03/29/We-Sing-We-Dance-We-Shop-but-We-Don-t-Steal-Things/322/

I know I'm flawed and imperfect but to share positivity and thoughts with anyone who's willing to listen and learn has always been my dream since I was a kid. I once dreamt of becoming a journalist. I know I am not one right now, but if only I could do that even for a day, I'll be thankful enough.

Thank you very much for reading and voting. You guys had been awesome :).

We Sing, We Dance, We Shop but We Don't Steal Things

2011-03-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

It's rude not to visit our neighbours. Hence, after 24 years of living, I visited Singapore in 2010. I was impressed by how organized the country was, and more impressed by their state of cleanliness. I considered Singapore as a better and cleaner KL, because it is a big city with shopping malls, and more shopping malls (i.e Orchard Road).

The opening of Universal Studio Singapore brought me back to the Land of Merlion this year. It was just a weekend getaway and I thought I've seen much of Singapore before; visiting places like Bugis Street, Arab Street, Little India, Clarke Quay and even roller bladed at the East Coast Park the last time I was there.

The Mission: UNIVERSAL STUDIO SINGAPORE (USS)
The Verdict: USS was fun, as I have never been to any Universal Studio before. The highlights of USS were Steven Spielberg movie set experience, The 4D Shrek Movie, the Underworld live show and the rides (altho there were not many of them).You could easily spend a day there and to avoid queuing (especially on school holidays), it's recommended to get the express boarding pass.

My First Universal Studio Trip

We LOVE USS!

With 'Charlie Chaplin'

Love the Vintage Car

The mission was accomplished. Was that the end of the trip? Well, not when you were with friends who knew how to have fun! As one of us was celebrating his birthday during the trip,we toured Singapore once again as he barely remembered the last time he went there. We visited the tourist spots once again, but this time with surprises along the way.

Eating the famous 1 dollar Ice Cream

Activity: We Dance
Where, When, How: We were in Esplanade, taking jumping shots and doing silly performance in front of Esplanade. Okay, touristy activities were done. Time to search for foods. As we walked towards the MRT Station, somebody stopped us and asked us to dance with them (something about Rocky Horror Show). I was excited because I thought they're going to do a flashmob but they ended up showing us some moves and asked us to repeat them again. Still fun because I never been stopped and asked to dance by strangers before (I was never the happy feet).

Jumping in front of Esplanade

(No dancing photos as we were busy dancing and the video was too embarassing to show to public.HA HA)

Activity: We Shop but Never Steal Things
Where, When, How : First place that comes in mind for shopping in Singapore must be Orchard Road. Well, we found a different place to shop in Singapore, where we discovered a row of authentic and indie shops selling clothes, shoes and all things custom made and vintage at Haji Lane, nearby Bugis Junction and Bugis MRT Station. They weren't cheap but the feeling of buying things that were not mass produced was satisfying indeed.

One of the funky shops on Haji Lane

Indie Inspired

Activity: We Sing
Where, When, How :After all the walking, dancing and shopping, we decided to eat at this cool place, Wanna'B Cafe situated in Arab Street. The environment were laid back (as we were seated on the cushion, japanese style) and the choice of fusion foods were decent. What made this restaurant unique was the stage with drums, guitars and microphones provided for you to let you have your diva/idol moments (hence the name Wanna'B). That led to the singing part, when we unashamedly sang in front of public as customers got to use the stage and sang three karaoke songs for free.

Cool place to hang out with friends

The WannaBs

Feel like a rockstar

Verdict of Second Singapore Trip: I thought I have seen them all in my first trip, but you'll never know what you could find in store the second time around. This applies to all the other countries as well, hence I'll have to go to every country I went/going to at least twice so I could be surprised again.

Awesome friends

A wise man once said, "To travel is better than to arrive". Well, just to add to that wise saying, "To travel after arriving is even more better!". Plus, it's a major bonus when the people you're with love the travelling part like you. Thus, my Travel Diary for 2011 had commenced successfully (and dramatically, with the singing and dancing).

Don't Look Back in Anger.

2011-01-30T04:17:00.000-08:00

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Oh my. There were a list of this. But mostly things that made me had the awesomest year of my existence.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Some of them alhamdulillah. I will and I don't really put much pressure on them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My 2nd sister to my first ever niece, the cutie pie Irdina Zafreen.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No immediate close friends/families but there were death in extended family. Al Fatihah for them.

5. What countries did you visit?
Singapore, UK, France, Italy, Cambodia and Spain (in those order).

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
More courage and more patience.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

25 April 2010 - Old Trafford, Spurs vs United

8 Dec 2010 - Barcelona Training Ground, Meeting Leo Messi

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
It's between winning the contest of a lifetime or getting my driving license. IMMMENSE.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failed my driving license on first test.Alhamdulillah got through it the second time.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
The usual cold/fever.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Messi Special Edition Jersey and my first car.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My families and friends.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one.

14. Where did most your money go?
TRAVELLING.Money well spent :)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
SO many things. The excitement runs throughout the year :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
I wanna be a billionaire. I felt like a billionaire with the blessing fortunes I had.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or saddest? sadder this time of the year.Wayy sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? So-so.
iii. richer or poorer? Alhamdulillah I hope richer. Amin.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Helping the less fortunate.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Relationship drama.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
N/A

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I fell in love way back in 2007.

23. How many one-night stands?
N/A

24. What was your favorite TV program?
How I met your mother. I'm a hopeless romantic like Ted but I admire Barney's awesomeness.Oh, and GLEE.I like to be happy :)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word, so I don't hate anyone.

26. What was the best book you read?
Richard Branson Autobiography.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Bruno Mars.LOL.

28. What did you want and get?
My driving license. Thank u.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Inception.Brilliant.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
Shift Training and celebrated with Mr Memon.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
For me to be less angry.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Corporate lass changed to Casual Everyday (with some random 'I think I'm stylish' style).LOL.

34. What kept you sane?
My families. And friends. And words of wisdom.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ryan Giggs.Alex Ferguson, Leo Messi, Tun Mahathir, Richard Branson and Oprah (I've met 4 of them).

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Anything involving violence.

37. Who did you miss?
Mr Memon :(

38. Who were the best new people you met (in person)?
My old/new colleague.People I've met on my trips.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
That dreams are not impossible.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

When I get older, I will be stronger
They’ll call me freedom, just like a Waving Flag
And then it goes back, and then it goes back
And then it goes back.

The rain made me do this. I'm a rather mellow person. And I'm someone who holds on to memories a bit too much.

A woman worth.

2011-01-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

I have started 2011 with….a fever!

Yes, I’m down with fever all week long. Until now I still have cough and flu. Yep, with a ‘bang’ I celebrated my New Year.

Not complaining as I am still alive. Alhamdulillah.

I don’t know why but when I think where I am right now, where I’m about to doubt my abilities to be someone great in career, and when I’m about to blame it on the toughness of ‘Men’s world’ I live in, something will knock some senses to my brain. In this case, Oprah did.

I have just watched an episode on US Women Army. They dealt with war. The whole shenanigans. And a lot of them were going through divorce and child custody battle. And worse, homeless. Oh my, how my ‘hardship’ seems like this tiny bit of nothingness. Those women went through hell on earth and they still kept their heads up high. Still had so much pride of what they did/are still doing for their country. Although they were left homeless after they became veteran.

That was a slap in a face for me. Sure, I am working in a majority filled men industry, but at least nobody tried to rape or kills me in the process. It’s just the difference in environment and work culture. That’s all. I’m braving through this stage of life, still overwhelmed but intact. I love challenges, and I like to believe in the saying, “whatever that doesn’t kills you, will only make you stronger.”

Everyone wants an easy life, where money is overflowing and you’ll get things done your way. Some people are blessed with trust fund, some people with genius minds like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, they earned their money the creative way. For us working class citizens, we sail through life by being the best at what we do. But maybe being the best at what you love to do is the ideal life everyone is aiming for. So in the meantime, every time the ‘giving up’ feeling resurfaces, remember to stop doubting yourself, and be awesome instead.Awesomeness goes a long way!

P/S: To all the superwomen out there, you women rock! (Especially my mom.Hee).

2010, the year that was.

2010-12-31T09:20:00.000-08:00

First of all,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Let's welcome 2011 with open embraces.

Wow. What a year it had been. A year older, a year wiser? Let's be forever young at 24?? (middle 20s crisis.LOL).

I just had to be thankful to Allah for had given me an awesome year. It's flawed of course, but it was nearly perfect. Here's the highlight of my life in 2010:

1. Singapore with friends. First time took the night train so that was the first of many things. It was great and I miss UTP when I thought of hanging out with them. And one of them is married now. Time does flies.
2. Match in Old Trafford, then off to Europe. That was like a dream came true. Plus, the companies were great. Really a trip to savour for a lifetime.
3. Got to work with my no 1 choice company. Well, it's still early to give any verdict if it's still a dream company (but the pay is definitely a dream came true :p). The sad part was leaving the peeps in Bumi Armada. They were really awesome.
4. Won the biggest contest in my life. Got to see the current best player in the World, Lionel (Leo) Messi in Barcelona. It was on par with the OT trip. Totally still awesome.
5. Gotten over my fear of driving and finally got my license (yes I was a loser no more!Haha) and a car. Hopefully it'll be formalized on paper soon!. Guess it's not as scary as I thought. Maybe I should try Bungee Jumping next. LOL.
6. Love lost and found. And lost in translation. End of 2010 was a confusing time for love. I guess it's the neverending mystery.
7. Life is short so death is imminent. Let all be aware and let us not strayed off the right path. Amin.
8. On 30th December 2010, Malaysia had become the champion of AFF Suzuki Cup. That was a historical footballing event. A great end to 2010.

2010 showed me that dreams are not impossible to be realized. So I hope in 2011, I'll dream bigger and they will come true. If it doesn't, well, life goes on. Here's a toast for the year that was and the year that begins today. Have a great year ahead everyone!

Meeting Messi, cherry on top of the cake :)

2010-12-22T05:23:00.000-08:00

Okay. I’m supposed to write about the much awaited trip of my life.

………

OMG. I’m blank. Not because I don’t have anything to write but because I was so out of adjectives and verbs to describe this trip.

Awesome will be my overused phrase. But I’m going to use it anyway. Ha Ha.

This AWESOME trip began nearly 4 months after I received the call that I won the biggest prize in my life back in August. I still remember the excitement of receiving the news. But the waiting period decreased the level of excitement to a point I could put the trip off my mind.

Then, the trip was back ON! I was nervous + excited + overwhelmed. Packed my stuff up and board the plane. It was an awfully long journey (as we had 2 transits, Abu Dhabi and London) but when we stepped down in Barcelona Airport, the reality started to sink in: I was finally in Barcelona, Spain, one of the countries I have always wanted to come to and I was about to meet the best footballer (arguably) in my generation less than 24 hours time!

When we arrived at the hotel, NH Constanza (which was a really nice hotel), we quickly had to freshen up and went for our City Tour. Maxis booked the whole bus for 14 of us. As some of us were rushing to get the stadium on the same day, I couldn’t really absorb the beauty of Barcelona on that first day because I was still tired from the all the travelling. Park Guell by Gaudi was one that stood out on that first day trip (Apart from the world famous Sagrada Familia).

We used the metro to get to the stadium and some unfortunate events occurred (namely pickpockets and racist) so my mood was. In addition to that, I was so frustrated when I saw the second team players’ names on the scoreboard (except for Pique) and NO Iniesta, Xavi, Villa and most importantly MESSI! The stadium was not 100% full but the atmosphere was still great. Reminded me of Old Ttrafford. The Champions League song that I often heard soothed my frustration for a while. The first half was a bit slow and then when I saw Messi warming up in the second half, my spirit soared. The whole stadium did anyway. Messi played! They won 2-0 and I would say it was not the best of the team (or match) but watching Messi in Nou Camp made up for all the flaws I had on that first day in Barcelona. At least in my football list I can tick Champs League off.

Second day. The most awesomest day of my life. Sure, I’ve met some great footballers (when MU came down to KL) but meeting them face to face, get their signature and take pictures with them, in a place where great footballers are produced and trained, was the first for me. Touring Nou Camp Training Ground with explanation by Messi’s personal manager, Paolo was great. He decided to allow us to watch the first team trained (my jaw nearly dropped when he said it) but unfortunately the team was practicing their strategy hence we couldn’t watch them. When we entered the main training field, only Abidal left with his practice. Guess no Iniesta and Xavi.Again.Sigh. But while waiting to get inside, we ogled the players’ cars, like Villa’s and Messi’s and could just berangan of having that much of money to buy anything that you want. There were fans outside, waiting for the players to come out so they could get their signatures. On normal days it can reached hundreds. Crazy to think how big football players are, especially of Barcelona FC stature.

Messi was walking, with his wet hair, and very fresh smell of soap/fragrance towards us. OMG, he looked so adorable and so like how I imagined him to be. It was kind of chaotic with people taking pictures and the organizers asked us to quickly prepare our stuff for him to sign. And guess what? I was the first to go! So kelam kabut and so speechless, and it ended so fast. Of all the things I thought of saying to him, nothing came up. After my turn was finished, I just watched others and couldn’t stop taking pictures. I never stared and look at a guy as long as I did with Messi. He looked so shy and didn’t really say anything (he couldn’t speak English). The session was brief it felt surreal. I was hoping there would be a question and answer session but after all the photographing and signing, he went off with his brothers and manager. We all tried to digest that we have just met one of the legends of the beautiful game. As we went out one the fans was cheering for us. Guess they were full of envy. Haha.

After that, we went jalan-jalan and some of us extended our stay in Barcelona for few days. We took the Turistic Hop On Hop Off Bus and it was a really good way in seeing Barcelona as they are frequent and cover a lot of places. Barcelona was a really beautiful city, with gorgeous buildings and the houses on the hill, very picturesque indeed. Gaudi architecture would definitely left you in awe with the uniqueness and eccentricity of his buildings. Plus, Spanish people were beautiful (as expected) and it’s winter, so I got to see beautiful people in jackets/coats and boots. One of my favorite locations in people watching so far (besides Paris).

One of the days in Spain, mama and I took a flight to Granada, where the famous historical Alhambra stood through the test of time. It was such a beautiful place no words could do it justice. If you happen to be in Spain, this was the place to be where you could observe the convergent of Muslim and Christian history and architecture.. Nasrid Palace was beyond awesome.

We went to London for our last night and met Shafini. It was bloody cold and the day was over so quickly we rushed to get our shopping done (especially in Primark.LOL).

All in all, the trip might not be as perfect as I would like it to be (especially the weather and the short daytime) and I might not be the perfect companion to my mother (sorry Mama!) but it’s right up there with my Euro Trip earlier this year. Both were football related trip, so I guess I am Maxis Biggest Football Fan. Haha. What a way to end my 2010, the year that is beyond awesome it could be legendary (I know it's getting lame but that is really how I felt!Haha). And I have my families, friends and Allah to thank for. Thank you and Alhamdulillah.

Merry Xmas, Happy New Year and let the awesomeness keeps rolling in for the next year J.

P/S: Thank you MAXIS. You are committed to the game.

ROLE MODELS.

2010-09-05T02:23:00.000-07:00

Everyone has role models they admire. People who are defined by their success, who inspire you to dare and dream. Today I'm gonna write about my role models. People that I look up to when I'm growing up, and when I am clueless about life and feels like giving up.Or people I just simply adore.

1) Tun Dr Mahathir :
I'm sure he's most Malaysians beloved role models. Despite whatever his nemesis said about him, I'm growing up hearing stories from my late grandmother of how great Tun was. All his contributions to the country, surpass whatever mistakes he had done, in my eyes that is. My long life dream was to meet him in person, and when I knew he was UTP Chancellor, I wasted no time in going to his public lectures. I even stayed outside the hall under the scorching sun to catch a glimpse of him. I was sure I could finally shook his hand during my convocation but he only did it in the morning session :(. I thought I could never see him again, but God willing, I finally get to shake his hands and took pictures with him in...KLCC. The sad thing is I don't know where I put the picture :(. To have met him in this lifetime is priceless.

"Work should be enjoyed in the same way that we enjoy playing. A bored worker is as bad as a bored player. He does not win. A bored worker does not produce. He merely marks time. He is a wage slave." Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad

2) Sir Alex Ferguson, Ryan Giggs, the whole lot of Manchester United squad (LOL):

For the obvious reasons. They are my favoritest football team in the whole wide world. Sir Alex for his winning mentality and Ryan Giggs for his loyalty and superb football even at the age of 37. They motivated me when they win things, lift up my spirit and yes, they occasionally lose, but their never give up attitude (which can be shown in so many matches, where they turned from the losing side to winning side(1999 Champ League Final, 2008 Champ League Final among the honorably mention) really amazed me. Football can indeed influence your life. And I had the chance to meet them (more like watching them in real life) when they went here for Asia Tour. I also managed to get Scholes, Van Der Sar and Sir Alex signature. He's like inches from me, it's unbelievable. Again, mission accomplished.

“At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you and you’ll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you that will be the closest you will ever get. Don’t you dare come back in here without giving your all”.Alex Ferguson’s half time team talk during the 1999 European Cup Final

3) Sir Richard Branson

He's the coolest entrepreneur in my opinion. I started to like Richard Branson when I read his autobiography. I have to admit I don't know him before but his life experience was amazing. He started off as his own magazine editor (which I had always long to be once upon a time), worked his way up with hard works and eventually made it. He flew around the world in a hot air balloon, he dares to take so many risks and diversify his business, and the best thing is he owns an Island! Oh, besides all that, he's a philanthropist at heart. His life is just awesome. I would jump at any opportunity to meet Sir Richard.

I cannot remember a moment in my life when I have not felt the love of my family. We were a family that would have killed for each other - and we still are.
Richard Branson

4) Oprah Winfrey

Should I explain more? She had done so many wonderful things for so many people. She had made so many dreams come true. She's every woman inspiration. The fact her show is ending is just really sad. I couldn't see anyone else to replace Oprah. Thanks for being the ultimate champion for women (and even men) all around the world Oprah!:), I can just dream of meeting you, cause I don't know how would I react if I ever get to see Oprah.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.
Oprah Winfrey

Well, I am best at day dreaming. I was a pessimist once upon a time, but as I am growing up, and as I have met eye to eye with some of my role models (although no words exchanged and they won't remember me) , I would say the grass is indeed greener on the other side. These people had made an impact in this world. I hope to achieve even a tiny bit of that success. And be quoted by someone someday (yes, I love quotes.LOL).To end this post, here's another one of many inspirational quotes by Oprah:

Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.

OMG!!!!!!

2010-08-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

I guess people who have my FB already know what's happening in my life right this second. My former lecturer, Mr Alan asked me to keep a journal so I could remember this moment years later, when I want to tell my children about it, so here I am, writing a journal (more like a public one).

What happened? I just won the biggest prize I ever won in my life (I mean in a competition). I've entered a competition , Maxis Biggest Fan during the World Cup season, where you have to submit either picture or video that showed you're a big football fan.

So having quite an ample time (as I about to leave my former job), I've asked around for ideas. My former colleague helped tremendously with the ideas and I also got them to do the first part of my video. Thanks guys, you guys were the best colleague ever! Haha.

Then, I figured why don't I asked (more like forced) my happening cousins to dance Waka-Waka as it represented the World Cup? Thank god there was a reunion and I've got one shot to make them do it (Altho it's flawed, but it was still awesome). I'm lucky to have a family who were not shy.LOL. Love you guys!!!

I submitted my video with just a tiny weeny hope of winning. I never win a big contest before so I won't get my hopes high. By the way, the prize is meeting Lionel Messi in Barcelona, Spain for two.

Ramadhan is indeed a blessed month. I thank Allah for giving me the best gift so far.

And the following is a video done by an amateur (I learnt how to use Vegas Pro in one night) so it's definitely flawed, but filled with the things I love the most : football, family and friends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5h8ir_Wwas

I am now planning excitedly for the trip and if anyone want me to say anything to Lionel Andres Messi, just tell me!It's not everyday you get to meet the best footballer in today's world. No puedo esperar a verte Messi!

Just to quote his Adidas advertisement:

"Impossible is Nothing".

After a while...

2010-08-16T02:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in ages. Literally ages. Now I'm supposed to have all the time in the world to update my blog but well, as usual, the usual excuse like writer's block, mundane life etc brings months of absence.

But, as I know I don't have that many readers, I'll try to write for own fulfillment.

Ramadhan is here. The blissful month. I hope I'll make the best out of this holy month. I hope you do too. It's much more than foods and getting together for buka puasa and terawih prayers.It's a month of cleansing.

I've managed another holiday after my Eurotrip, it was to Cambodia with my girlfriends. The verdict: there's so much things to see and do at your own backyard that I do feel one should explore. Cambodia was a different adventure, especially to see the warmth of the people despite their hardships. It really humbled me. And it would definitely be a memorable journey as it brings friends together again (I hope so :)).

I have ended a stage of my life. I had fun in the sun with most vibrant people I know (I'll miss the geng kedai kopi. And the girls). It was like a school reunion everyday. Thanks guys for holding up with me :).

I'm entering my new phase of life. I feel like it is the real world now. That I couldn't afford to slack off. It is indeed a rezeki, alhamdulillah, but it is also a challenge so I'll try to grow up and face the waves (well, I had one important thing crossed out :D).

Shall end the post with a poem:

Life by Henry Van Dyke

Let me but live my life from year to year,
With forward face and unreluctant soul;
Not hurrying to, nor turning from the goal;
Not mourning for the things that disappear
In the dim past, nor holding back in fear
From what the future veils; but with a whole
And happy heart, that pays its toll
To Youth and Age, and travels on with cheer.

So let the way wind up the hill or down,
O'er rough or smooth, the journey will be joy:
Still seeking what I sought when but a boy,
New friendship, high adventure, and a crown,
My heart will keep the courage of the quest,
And hope the road's last turn will be the best.

Euro Trip (London)

2010-05-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

When the plane landed, there was a funny sound and everyone clapped. We have landed in our first and last destination, the great city of London!

In London, not only we went to all the main attractions, British Museum, Trafalgar Square, Buckingham etc, we stole some times to go and see two of main stadiums in London, the Reds (Arsenal) and Blues (Chelsea) of London. And I still think Manchester has the best looking stadium. LOL.

We also managed to watch a West End Show, Stomp at one of the many theater places in West End (we’ve got lost while searching for the right one). It was a bargain because we got the best seat for half price! The show was great; I could see they were very passionate with what they’re doing.

London was the easiest place to go around and also to find halal food. No wonder a lot of Malaysians stay there. It’s so comfortable (maybe because I went during Spring, can’t imagine the below zero temperature) and I just felt easy and safe somehow.

It was Bank Holiday and there were sales everywhere, so a lot of people were in every corner of Oxford Street. Thank god I was able to buy things because it was a long (but effective) queue.

That marks the end of my Euro Trip. I really hope to come back again (soon I hope) and go to Spain and Greece (especially Greece, I long for beautiful islands and beaches). I had fun, joy and a lot more. It was short and hectic, but sweet and unforgettable of course.

Viva Europe!

Euro Trip (Rome)

2010-05-29T22:18:00.000-07:00

The Roman Empire was not built in one day. Yes, even touring Rome in one day won’t be enough so we allocate 1 and half there day. Verdict: Still not enough. I really wanted to tour Vatican City but due to limited time (and fund), we could only take picture at St Peter.

Me and another friend got into the tour guide group for Colosseum and it was great. The Italian by the name Gianluigi (yes, like Buffon’s name) was a passionate tour guide who told the story of Colosseum ( I wasn’t really paying attention due to picture taking and it was drizzling, so we were rushing off to see other places). Oh by the way, Gian was a cute Italian too. Hehe.

Rome’s buildings were indeed magnificent. To think they could carved all the sculptures and details that lasted by centuries was just mind blowing. I’m sure people with artistic mind will appreciate them more.

The hostel we’re staying, The Independence Square Hostel, was the best hostel we went to. Not only the room was nice, the caretaker (although seem cold at first) was a nice chap. We said to him that we would recommend the hostel to our friends, then he said, “Honey, write whatever that you feel from your heart.” Hehe. So caretaker (man, how could I forgot his name), Grazie per l'ospitalità e spero di rivederti!

Oh, another warning, those two days I was in Rome, there were two attempts of snatch thief right in front of me. To me, mind you. The money belt was really helpful and saved me from losing any important stuff. So just be careful because Rome was quite crowded and you could be distracted.

Tossed a coin into Trevi Fountain (which was beautiful) and you might come back to Rome! Well, I didn’t do it but maybe I would like to come back. One day. Heh.

Euro Trip (Venice)

2010-05-29T05:49:00.000-07:00

There we were, in Venice, watching the waterways, with so many bridges and buildings. Where were we heading to? Most of the places we went were according to the Hostel world recommendations because we had limited time. So we went to St Marco, Rialto Bridge, and then taking the Vaporetto to go to Lido Beach.

Upon arriving on Lido beach, it was a side so different from the main attractions in Venice, mainly because it was so calm and less people were there. The beach might not be as beautiful, but the calmness and the breeze had me dozed off for nearly an hour. After all those walking, taking a break while chilling at the beach was the perfect activity to rejuvenate my tired feet and body.

We watched sunset from the Vaporetto, where Venice was indeed picturesque. Like taking a step back in time, everything is done traditionally so it’s a good break from the fast moving world. Indeed just like what I have imagined Venice to be.

While waiting for our night train to Rome arrived, we sat on the stairs, overlooking Venice at night. My friend even sang song that really made me miss someone over there. It was indeed a great day.

Euro Trip (Paris)

2010-05-29T05:43:00.001-07:00

I’m procrastinating again. Let me write about the rest of my dream trip now before the memories start to fade away. Before I start writing, I would like to warn it might be long. (Or maybe I’ll just do them in parts. Hehe).

Paris

We nearly missed our Eurostar to Paris due to high confidence that not all 3 of us would overslept (before the trip this was my nightmare). Thank god there were the additional 2 guys who woke us up just in time. This trip consists of 5 people, 3 girls and 2 guys so it was more people that I have anticipated. The more the merrier!

In the train, we sat with an American guy who studied in London. And in the midst of volcano crisis, guess what was he studying? Geophysic. And he was on his way to study volcano in Spain. So our conversation revolved around Volcano and academics. Fun. Haha. He’s quite cute though. So thank god nothing like the guy in the movie Euro Trip (Mi Scuzi Mi Scuzi. LOL).

After 2 hours plus journey, Paris at last! One word. Je’taime. Heh. It’s so indeed romantic, people were in love everywhere. Even the street performers and the buildings looked so dreamy. Talking about dreamy, the people were gorgeous. I mean physically. Leather jacket, boots and scooter, what more could you ask? (I’m a sucker for boots and leather). Just one warning: Don’t go wandering during night at Moulin Rouge area; it’s dangerous because a bad incident occurred so just be careful. Singing in front of the Louvre was fun! Haha. Oh yes, a flattery thing happened: A Brazilian woman asked to take picture with us because she said we’re pretty and looked like we’re having fun. How sweet was that? Totally made my day :D.

I wished I could stay longer in Paris. Maybe I could go next during honeymoon (*wink*). Au Revoir Paris!

Dream Trip (Part 1)

2010-05-09T04:30:00.000-07:00

I’m supposed to write about my dream trip. But I don’t know if I want to write long entries by parts or just summarized everything in one entry. Is it going to do justice to my memories? But I don’t know if I am rajin enough to write many entries (Maybe two lah), so I think I’m going to K.I.S.S (Keep it short and sweet).LOL. Here goes my journal:

KL to Manchester

KL: The volcano ashes made me and friends anxious about the probability of our flight got delayed. By god’s will, the flight was smooth, without any interruption at all. We arrived at Heathrow exactly as planned.

Heathrow:

There were 14 of us, with Abg Dzam as our tour guide, as he lives in Birmingham for years. We rented a minibus (or van) throughout the trip and our first stop was Birmingham, Abg Dzam’s house for breakfast.

Birmingham:
It was 4 am in the morning it it’s freaking COLD!As I have never experienced less than ten degree C temperature, my body was shivering. But the karipap, coffee and nasi lemak cured them. Our Host and family were the best of people. Then we’re off to Manchester.

Manchester:
Old Trafford at last! I was super excited, it’s like coming home to a place I have watched in talking box (a.k.a TV) for years (Sounds poyo I know). Then we went for the stadium tour (ooohs and aahhsss at every single thing) and bought merchandise at the Megastore. Checked in at Etap Hotel (So close.15 minutes walk to stadium) and went to Old Trafford again for the museum. We had dinner at a kebab place and flat out that night (First proper sleep since arrived).
Second day in Manchester: Match Day!!!Everyone around was clad with red, yellow and green (Love United Hate Glazer). There were booths selling so many items (The one I like was this t-shirt saying, ’Which ship has not sink in Liverpool: The Premiership!!LMAO!!Haha). We went inside around half an hour before match and guess what? The stadium was still empty!!They all went inside 5 minutes prior to the game. By the way, I sat in STRETFORD END, the area with the hardcore United fans! And man, they were the most passionate fans of all! We stood up the whole match, and listening to the fans singing so many United songs (I only know the glory2 and Giggsy song). The environment was unbelievable. Plus, United won the match so it’s worth the money alone. Indeed, dream came true: D.

Liverpool and Cheshire Oak

We went to Liverpool the next day and visit Anfield, Everton and Albert Dock. Liverpool Megastore sadly had more great items than the ones in Manchester (that’s the only thing that they are better at this season.LOL). Everton and Liverpool stadium were very close to each other, I wonder how the fans reacted when they were against each other. We rushed to Albert Dock and went to the Beatles Story shop because we had to head off to Cheshire Oak.

Cheshire Oak is a must place to go in UK. Designers outlets were everywhere with freakingly cheap prices. Because I was in a budget trip, I couldn’t spend much. Sobs. All of the other guys proved that guys could be shopaholic too. We’re off to London as our train to Paris departs early next morning and their flights home departs tomorrow night.

That’s the end of our trip with the Mymanutd guys. It was great and they were bunch of sporting brothers. Keep the spirit up and Glory2! Indee d an awesome start.

Coming up: Paris, Venice, Rome and London story…

4 more days.

2010-04-18T04:18:00.000-07:00

I am about to embark on the most anticipated journey of my life....

So...

Volcano ashes..please go away...and come back another year (or not at all).

But well...

If God willing, Insyaallah it'll be the ultimate dream trip comes true.

Amin.

Tolong doakan kawan2 dan saudara mara.

Thanks!

Keretapi.Or Kereta Api.

2010-04-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

The night before yesterday, I was sitting in the train, doing my favorite thing, which is people watching.

Watching people is fascinating as they exist in many forms, many characters. But you have to know the right way to do it because you don’t want to be seen as some creepy person staring at them.

So I was looking at this guy, whose personality comes out to me as a bit soft, where his feminity won over her masculine side. That was my assumption of course. You can’t be too judgemental.

Then enter an Arab woman and she said hye to the man. Okay, this is a typical situation when friends see other friends in the train. It happens to me all the time.

Then both of them sit to seat next to me and start conversing. Conversation in the train is another thing that is intriguing, although they always revolve on the same mundane stuff.

Then they started to converse. I was expecting the usual ‘How are you’, ‘Where are you from’ etc and I did get them. But the funny thing is, they don’t know each other. They just see each other so many times. At McD, around their house etc. One thing about the train is we do see the same particular stranger(s) until we feel like we know them because we nearly see them all the time (without talking to them of course).

So their chat was the usual first time introduction we always heard (well, at one point the guy said he love belly dancing which had proven my assumption).

But there was this particular part of the conversation that touched me somehow.

Guy: You don’t have your family here. Don’t you miss them?

Girl: Of course I do, I feel alone sometimes. How about you?

Guy: My family is not here too, I get to see my friends once in a while because everyone is busy. Yes, I feel alone. Too alone sometimes.

It’s the tone of his voice that somehow makes me sad. In the train, a lot of people are by their own. Getting back home from office, class, we are all alone. But as we’re getting older, everyone in their life is moving on, leaving the past behind, and in the end, we are indeed alone.

I know my posts are gloomy but I can’t stop myself from writing things like this. It makes me feel better.

One Can Tango by Thyself.

2010-03-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Today I feel like talking about relationship.

Okay, that is too general; it’s the relationship between men and women.
More specific? Well, I feel like writing down on the most chaotic but greatest relationship of people who are presumed to be in love.

If I’ll start with definition of love I’ll don’t think it will end. It’s cliché anyway.

So, I’ll jump straight to why this kind of relationship is so hazardous.
A wise friend of mine said the brain works well 365 days, 24 hour a day until the day we fall in love.

Why does love has to be so complicated? So messed up with all the dramas and emotional rollercoaster? If I know the answer I won’t be writing this in the middle of the night.

From my neither so narrow nor open view, this is because we human being are never contented with what we have. Like when you are rich you want to be richer; when you are pretty, you want to undergo a nose job because it’s asymmetrical. So when you are in a relationship, when everything is supposedly running smoothly, subconsciously your mind is telling you it’s not the right state to be in. You have to create something out of the ordinary and dull relationship state. Hence the fights that comes from the stupidest reasons.

Yes, of all these has been depicted in movies, songs, poetries etc. This has led to only 2 probable outcomes: Heartbreaks or Happily As Long As You Can (Ever After is extinct people!).

How do you choose? Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to love their flaws too. If you can’t, then it’s never meant to be.

In the end, only God knows what’s best for you.

Still I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind…

Gleek.

2010-02-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

Okay. I have to admit something.

I have always been fascinated by anything musical. I mean good music. I won’t lie, I love songs and I love watching musicals.

I am not a fan of High School Musical because I feel it’s too childish and cheesy, so to say I am hooked on Glee is to say otherwise (I think Glee is nothing like HSM though. Yes, the leading guy in Glee isn’t the best of singers but the girl is!). I just love how they make a story out of outcasts in school. I’m sure at some points in our life we have felt like an outcast too. I was nowhere in popular group (although some of my friends were) at school, so I could relate to the idea of being criticized and have low self esteem.

I love Glee because they sing songs that I know, like, and songs from musical too (as I have mentioned, I love musicals), in contrast to HSM where they sing their own songs (okay, more original) but not favorable to me. Some people might say aren’t you too old for these stuff? Well, music never ages so I still think it’s still okay to drool over people talents (and good looks). Some of the casts are older than me so it’s still a green light to have crush on them!

Everyone has their own favorite series (be it Friends, How I Met Your Mother, House etc) and for me I might find one and as corny as people might say it (again, in defense, Glee is a sarcastic and dark humor comedy too!), Glee is the perfect fit for me (for the moment). I hope they keep the good songs coming!

P/S: Sometimes, you just want to break free and breathe a little.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS7fESHj7RU&feature=related

Lemon.Orange.Strawberry.I want Strawberry with Whip Cream.

2010-02-20T01:09:00.000-08:00

I’m sure most of you have heard the saying when the world gives you lemon, make lemonade (or something along that line).

What about when it gives you shit? You make fertilizer out of them of course! Or simply flush them down the toilet. (Depends on your level of optimism).

My point is life = boundless possibilities.

You have heard stories, how someone becomes from a sweeper to a millionaire, waitress to Hollywood star, rags to riches, nobody to someone in the world history etc. Yes, those were the fortunate ones, but they did work for their success right?

I always wonder what if this is not the life that I want? The working class citizen, working day to day so I can pay mortgage, to be able to own and do things I’ve dreamt only before.

I’m not born blue blooded, silver/gold spoon fed, so it’s a great feeling when I have achieved something with my own efforts. Be it having won things, go places, or recognized for something I’ve done. I’m sure most people feel the same way, because it’s never wrong to feel happy.

Okay, so what is my next ingredient? Stay tune because life, as we know it, is full with surprises.

There's been....~

2010-01-31T23:09:00.000-08:00

Someone’s been slacking off in the writing department.

I would like to start this entry with a literature work by Emily Dickinson:

There's been a death in the opposite house
As lately as today.
I know it by the numb look
Such houses have alway.

The neighbours rustle in and out,
The doctor drives away.
A window opens like a pod,
Abrupt, mechanically;

Somebody flings a mattress out, -
The children hurry by;
They wonder if It died on that, -
I used to when a boy.

The minister goes stiffly in
As if the house were his,
And he owned all the mourners now,
And little boys besides;

And then the milliner, and the man
Of the appalling trade,
To take the measure of the house.
There'll be that dark parade

Of tassels and of coaches soon;
It's easy as a sign, -
The intuition of the news
In just a country town.

My word for this entry is (as apparent as it is) is death.

A word feared by many, but only for a short while (until it’s their turn of course).

When you heard about a death of someone’s you knew, it struck the chord inside your heart. Especially if it’s your loved ones.

You can’t imagine living without seeing them again, that it will all be different, a hard change.

If it’s someone who’s in their golden age, that feeling will subdue because you know they had lived, learned and loved.

What if it’s someone young, or even younger than you? You would ponder, and realized it could be you, that life is that SHORT, and what you have done or doing to prepare yourself for the next stage.

We symphatize, emphatize and maybe take a lesson of the death. A few days (weeks , months or years later) if we are still alive and there’s no death concurred, we forgot all about that person and we live on. Until we had the same news about someone we knew once again. And it will repeat itself.

My point is we are imperfect, we’re sinners, but let’s realize that we don’t have much time left. In one second, God can easily take the life He gave us and all of this will be over. Let’s hope He could grant us admission to His heaven.

There must be a death occurred that made me write this right? Yes, he’s my relative, I didn’t have the chance to know him (just that I see him around during Raya, Kenduri etc), he’s my age and his death had been so sudden it shocked everyone. As everyone says, God loves him more and May Allah has mercy on his soul. Al-Fatihah.

Have you arrived?

2010-01-23T20:12:00.000-08:00

Okay. Today is the last day of weekend and I haven’t written anything all week.

This week word is ARRIVAL.

Yes, people, some of you might know what I am going to write about, I’m predictable sometimes.

The Arrivals is a documentary made by a couple of young guys who decided to share with the world their POV of The New World Order. The conspiracy theory that links Free Masons to being Luciferian (Or the followers of the Anti-Christ (a.k.a Dajjal) and the end of the world.

Their 50 episodes documentary (it just lasts 10 minutes for each, less than any of your favorite series) is definitely a new angle of seeing today’s world. Especially when we know one day the world will end and the signs are showing it’s coming sooner than later.

I know people are skeptical and will judge quickly what nonsense conspiracy theory is, and the world is what she is, but just take your time to watch all the episodes before making a conclusion.

In the end, I think the message conveyed in the documentary is very positive, the betterment of oneself.

Okay, I have now fulfilled my need to voice my opinion on this matter.

If you have any interest in finding out what I am talking about, please go to www.wakeupproject.com.

May ALLAH bless us ALL.

P/s: Sometimes I still think I’m not on the right path. That I should be on the road not taken.

MERLION.

2010-01-15T03:50:00.001-08:00

Singapore is our neighbour. Usually, you visit your neighbout at the very least on any festive occasions. It’s too near, so it’s rude not to say hye.

So, I decided to visit my country’s estranged neighbour last weekend, after 23 years of living in my house, never knows how their house looks like, is it better than mine, etc.

My verdict?

1. It’s a way contemporary and organized home than mine is. They have superb transportation to every single nook and crooks of their house, you feel like you can add weight because you don’t have to work that hard to find your way inside your massive home. But anything that allows little effort (and anger) for me is considered fine by me.

2. Their house is way cleaner than mine. Mine is messy, theirs are proper and prim .
Sometimes, too neat is considered dull. My house has more personality and life to it than theirs.

3. They might have a big wardrobe (i.e clothes, shoes, sales everywhere) but they lack of a sanctuary to be calm and a space for sore eyes (their most famous beach is facing bloody tankers.LOL).

Conclusion?

We should learn a lot from our neighbour in term of being more organized and cleaner, also to take advantage of every little space we have in our home (which I know is more and naturally beautiful).

I will not miss my neighbour too much, but I will go there again when there is more attractions (like Universal Studio) or the 1 dollar ice cream.

Moral of the story: Be Good to Your Neighbour! Sopan Santun Amalan Kita. LOL.

Burj Khalifa.

2010-01-07T03:21:00.000-08:00

I decided to choose a word and write about it for my new year resolution in writing.

I know I always have writer's block and its related disease, but I want to write at least once a week.

And at least one fiction story a month.

We'll see how it goes.

So today's word is Burj.

Burj means Tower. Khalifa means Representative of God (or what I would define as Ruler).

The Tower of The Ruler. The Arab world loves their father, or ruler, so I would say the name suffices this world latest icon. Standing tall at 828 m, she has well beaten the Taipei 101 (509.2 m) and our beloved Petronas Twin Towers (451.9 m).

I think that's all for today. Haha. So much for the writing part. By the way, the Burj situated in the area of Dubai Mall, where they have beautiful fountain show every single day. The reason I write is I want to share the beautiful pictures my Mr Photographer took. He's just getting better by each passing time =).

New You.New Me.

2010-01-04T03:10:00.000-08:00

1. The New Decade has arrived.

2. Who would have thought humanity could survive and enter the phase of new millennium, now we are even entering the new decade of that millennium.

3. I feel old somehow.

4. I was celebrating my new year, with friends my age and watched these kids playing with the snow spray and there we were, finding them amusing but felt too old to blend in with them.

5. I am only 23 (ehem, going on 24) but I felt ancient.

6. I think I should stop hanging out in a place where people under the age of 21 ruled.

7. Anyway, any resolution for the new decade?

8. I wish I could go places. I have been infected by travel bug (I’m sure most people do).
Besides that, I wish my favoritest football team (MU) in the world will make history and I will be there to witness it. (If that happens, 2010 will be THE year of my existence in this world).

9. I wish I will grow up. Little by little, physically (I know height is impossible, darn, I wish I was Messi, he was given growth hormone by his father), mentally (stop being such a brat and be an adult!) and spiritually (I feel the end is near, I hope God allows me to go to His paradise.Amin).

10. Most important thing of all, I wish every person could just take one small step (recycling, cycling to work, less use of plastic bag etc) in stopping global warming (I am a environmentalist at heart).

Have a great year ahead of you everyone. Live life to its maximum potential capacity!
Cheers~

Doo.Bye.

2009-12-29T02:58:00.001-08:00

I just got back from Dubai a few days ago. Dubai, the land which possesses the tallest building in the world, the only 7 star hotel in the world, the only palm jumeirah in the world, the only island of the world in the world (lol), well you get the point, all things mega and elite.

Well, I highly recommend Dubai. First, they have these amazing buildings and development (put the crisis out of the equation, it has nothing to do with going there for holiday), if you love watching Discovery on Mega Builders, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the buildings.

Second, they have nice and clean beaches, creek and toilet. I’m impressed with their cleanliness. Even the toilet at the campsite of the Desert Safari is clean (and it’s in the middle of the desert). By the way, Desert Safari is a MUST. Dune bashing (providing you have a crazy driver) was superrrr fun!

Third, if you are a souvenir hunter (or even a shopper of any kind) you’ll have plenty of choices. The souks, the malls (they have plenty of malls!) and they have this place called Global Village every winter where there are shops from all around the world (unfortunately Malaysia doesn’t represent anything Malaysian at all!*sigh*). It’s a shopping haven, especially when they have sales.

Overall, if you want a place where you are in the city, near the beach, near the desert, go to Dubai. Oh, and go during winter, it’s a very nice weather, you don’t want to burn yourself in the summer.

Beware of the drivers though. They are crazy.

Okay, back to the real world. Though I wish I can go on my next vacation soon (or maybe I will.LOL).

Desert Safari...I wish to go to the African Safari next =)

P/S: People usually dread coming back to work because of the workload but I always feel the opposite. Empty shells need to be filled before it cracks.

The world is not FLAT.

2009-12-06T21:41:00.000-08:00

Who can tell me what is the remedy of being miserable?
1. Daydreaming your life is something completely different from what it is now (that includes watching movies, E (freaking) channel, series that portrays life of rich and beautiful, travel and living channel) which eventually will depress you even more.
2. Channel that negativity into positivity with words of motivations (like you can do it! *yada yada*)
3. Watch football (Manchester United). If they win, miseries gone for a while, if they lose it’ll add up, but a risk worth taking.
4. Pray.

Miseries, go away. Maybe the best way to eliminate them is to take a bold step and walk away from the cause of miseries. I wish it is that easy. Oh yeah, watch Oprah, it’ll help (The fact Oprah will end next year is depressing). Say NO to MISERY.

Lol.

The Moon.

2009-11-29T16:50:00.000-08:00

I’ve watched New Moon. Yes, the movie that has been over publicized worldwide. I know it would turn out to be corny, but not to the extent I felt like all the corniest lines are being used in this movie alone. Don’t expect werewolves versus vampires actions here, it’s nearly non-existent.

I don’t get it why the movie is so famous. Maybe I don’t read the book, so the chance is the movie is so erroneously forked out from the book, or simply teenagers (or even adults) love the idea of forbidden love and find them fascinating. Yes, the idea is intriguing but the movie is filled with cheesy lines. I don’t mind love story, I love some of them, but to combine every possible love expression in one movie is too much.

There’s one thing I like though. That Jacob guy was quite hot. Tall, muscular and dark, my kind of guy. Pity he’s too young for me to have crush on. LOL. Oh yeah, maybe that’s why it’s a craze worldwide. They just find beautiful and mysterious (more like troubled, Edward Cullen looks like he’s sick) people and combine them together, voila, you got yourself a box office movies. People are still shallow anyway.

I crave for a movie I could watch over and over again (like Armageddon) and be affected by its story.

Hiatus from Blogging.

2009-11-17T02:46:00.000-08:00

I haven’t written in AGES. As in a month plus. What if your ambition once is to become a journalist but you can’t even keep your blog updated, does that means you don’t really want to become a journalist? Maybe the idea of journalism fascinates you, but when you are really given the job, you don’t really like them? (Fact: I’m nowhere in journalism. Mind you, I’m talking between the lines here).

Anyways, the guys at the office are reading my blog (particularly ONE guy, he keeps quoting me. LOL), so I have to be careful on what I write here. But when people read my blog and praise it (or quoting it) it gives me those flowery feeling (like when people puji you pretty, you think you can become a model. But in real life, people likes to flatter just to make you feel good, or because they praise everyone. So stop daydreaming you can become a model!). But writing is different right? If more than certain amounts of people think you can write, then you should write right?

Too many questions. Too little time (or privacy even) to start writing or continue writing fiction, non-fiction etc. I have a probable title for my probable book: Diary of a Female Engineer in a (Dog eat Dog) Male Dominated World. How does that sounds? Catchy? Lame. I wish I can meet Richard Branson (out of topic).

Toodles~

P/S : Job is making me cringes. I hate being discriminated. Or being called a TRAINEE. Duh.

The Real World Part 1

2009-09-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

“Earth to Neera!” She’s snapped. “So what’s with the day dream mode? It’s only 10 am in the morning,” say the busybody colleague. “My boss gives me permission to do this all day today. It’s for my KPI,” she replied sarcastically. Quickly, she turns her back on the busybody colleague; put her headphone on before she hears any comeback remarks. Listening to Muse’s Time Is Running Out, she goes back to her dreamland mode, where people are all smiles, sun is shining all day long, the ocean is as bluerer as ever….” “NEERAAAA!!!!My office!NOW!” The echoes were ringing so loud in her ear she swears she could be deaf. Behind her, the busybody colleague, who took off her headphone was wearing the smuggest look which can beat Kanye West hands down. Walking non-hastily towards her MAJESTY office (she considers all people with higher ranks should be addressed that way because they way they act, they could give the Briton’s royalties a run for their money).

Upon entering the office, she recalled the number of times she was summoned to the office. One, for being 10 minutes late to the office for 3 days in a row (she was being called tardy and undisciplined. What about the extra 2 hours she stayed for the whole 3 months of the project? Guess Her Majesty had a memory of a golden fish, reminded her of that fish from Nemo). Two, she had a row with Her Majesty right hand man (a.k.a the world ultimate employer’s suck up) due to her action of not wanting to contribute in helping him arranging the Majesty’s sweet (more like grumpy) 40 birthday bash. When you are 40, unmarried and have a personality of a lion, you can only rely to those who worship you in order to get raise, allowances and maybe seize away the throne from you one day. But it’s a bargain to some people, who would scoop down to a level where their dignity is nearly non existent in order to get what they want. That second time she was being called rude and volatile (this came from someone whose shouts and screams could beat Mariah Carey’s six octave range). The other times were due to reasons she could not really defined but maybe due to hormonal imbalance the Majesty was experiencing during those times.

This time, she knows what she wants to say. She will say it loud and proud. She opens her mouth, after those times of being patient, as silence is virtue, she blurts it out, “I quit,” the same time she hears something impossible coming out from the Majesty shrilly voice, “I want to talk about your promotion.” “What??? What?? The ends from the two voices collide, creating the atmosphere of confusion. “You’re quitting??” “You want to promote me??” She tries to detract all her muscles back to its original location, to put on a straight face. “I was about to but not anymore of course. Andy was right. You give up too easily.” The face is as cold as the statement. Andy. The right man. The glory hunter. She should have seen that coming. Before opening up her mouth in protest, the Majesty shouts again, “Andy, darling, you’ve got the job! Reena gave up just like you say she would!”

Across the board, Andy, the busybody colleague and the tea lady, all having different reactions. Andy, with his devilish grin and satisfaction, the busybody colleague with I-told you-so look and the tea lady, with her sad eyes, the truly one person without the act of hypocrisy in the office.
She wants to say so many things out of rage, but all she does is stomp out the room, smash the door, took some things from her desk, hug the tea lady and give a stare she hope would pierce Andy’s heart and kill him on the spot. Walking out of the building, she felt both relief and regret. What if she didn’t say anything just now? She would get the promotion she had deserved, she could prove to the world that stays true to yourself paid off eventually but it didn’t happen. Real world sucks. And cruel. Putting back her headphones on, she listens to Jason Mraz Live High in hope of escaping the predicament she’s in.

And she’s off to the dreamland again.

Mari Berangan!

2009-09-14T00:18:00.000-07:00

Suddenly I’m excited!
I know the prospect is very so nottt bright, but who knows, God wants to endow me with Luck and Fortune so I could, maybe, have a chance of dreaming this dream.

Screw metaphore.

People, please go to the below link and enter the draw ok! And please don’t forget to put my email in one of your mates (as a courtesy I told you about the draw / competition). It’s hi_zzzz@yahoo com or zainur.azwin.mokhtar@gmail.com!

Maybe if I don’t get it, one of you might!!!! Aminnn =p (Haha, berangan giler :P).

The link:

http://www.islandreefjob.com/best-experience/landing.php?cmpid=275

P/S : I sooo envy that guy. He definitely has THE BEST JOB in the world!

Life. Never Easy.

2009-08-29T20:00:00.000-07:00

It’s been quite sometimes.

I have graduated officially, it was an event which had its bittersweet moments, but definitely I would miss everything / everyone who impacted my life the whole 5 years I was there.

Then, sweet times relished itself with the return of someone dear to my heart. It was short, but it just made me realize how your feeling could really be defined when absence do makes heart grows fonder.

Unfortunately, life is nothing like happily ever after.

I am being tested with a HUGE test unlike the ones I took in UTP. No textbook can help me with this, but as my mom says, God opens 12 doors during this Ramadhan, so I really hope God opens the door that holds a key to my future and happiness. Before I end my serious post, here’s something to ponder upon in this Holy month.

Once Moosa (AS) asked Allah Subhaana’O’Ta’ala: You have granted me the honor and privilege of talking to YOU directly, Have YOU given this privilege to any other person?

Allah Ta’ala replied, O!!Moosa, during the last period I am going to send an Ummat, who will be the Ummat of Muhammad (SAW) with dry lips, parched tongues, emaciated body with eyes sunken deep into their sockets, with livers dry and stomachs suffering the pangs of hunger will call out to ME (In dua) they will be much closer to me than you O Moosa!

While you speak to me there are 70000 veils between you and me but at the time of Iftaar there will not be a single veil between me and the fasting Ummat of Muhammad (SAW) O!! Moosa I have taken upon myself the responsibility that at the time of Iftaar I will never refuse the dua of a fasting person!

Passion.Engineering. It doesn't rhyme.

2009-07-24T01:48:00.000-07:00

One question: what’s your passion in engineering?
Answer: Errrr…….(No freaking idea. Maybe the idea of engineering fascinates me, but I’m not exactly in love with it).

What would you answer be to a question like that? Especially it comes from your boss, which by the way, the passion lays in making his own robots, real techie at heart.

So I look up the possibilities of area in engineering I could be passionate (or maybe develop an interest) about:

1) Material – This is my major back at uni, it’s not bad, not that interesting either, especially when it comes to Metallurgy (the surface where you see lines and dots. Yeah, VERY fascinating).
2) Mega structures – I like watching Mega builders in Discovery Channel because of how they look like, not their truss, static, dynamic etc. But at least they have physical appearance I can say WOW to.
3) Ships / Vessel / Cruise. It fits my industry now. And I always like imagining myself on cruise, on the ocean which I love so much. But first, I need to see one real ship to differentiate its port and starboard side.

Perhaps, I want to be passionate about the money I could make out of engineering, and then I automatically develop a passion in that money-making area. The most sensible option I could opt to.

Glory2 MU~

2009-07-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

First, let me warn you that this post is filled with over excited statements that might annoy people, but what the heck, I’m on cloud 19, and like my friend stated in my Facebook, no drugs could make me happier than this one particular event: Manchester United Asia Tour in Kuala Lumpur 2009. Here goes a diary of a stalker. Haha.

Friday: Found out they’re staying at Mandarin Oriental, which was the opposite of my office building at 4.30 pm, and found out they’re having Meet-the-Fans session! Darn, so near yet I could miss that, and they’re about to go for their training session at Bukit Jalil so my stalking day hasn’t begun yet.

Saturday: Watched the Game! Good game, surprisingly good team from Malaysia (and MU wasn’t sharp anyway). Been cheering for both teams, but excited to finally see the players in live action (although quite far) so I thought that was it. MU came, everyone was happy and they go home. The end. Boy, I was wrong!

Sunday: Found out they’re having rematch! I’m all set to go but it took me some times to find people to go with this time around. Managed to get uncle, auntie cousins and friends to go. And my uncle belanja me! Double yeay! Can’t wait for Monday rematch. 2 matches in one visit? Great news for ardent fans like me!

Monday: Took halfday off to begin my stalking day at Mandarin Oriental. Looks like there are some fanatics who have been lingering there every single day since Friday! (Looks like I can be considered medium fanatic fan). Even met my uncle there! (lol). So I’ve waited for hours till the players came out to go to the stadium. Watch the players within few feet from me and managed to get Scholesy signature on my jersey! A United Legend, besides Giggsy (which if I’ve got it, that’s the end of my stalking days). So, ran to the Stadium to give friends their tics (Tremendous apology to them) and cheered the teams for the second match. Wasn’t as good as Saturday, too easy for MU, but still, watching it live still brought joy to me.

Tuesday: Stop by at Mandarin before went to office (it’s so near I couldn’t resist) and managed to see Rooney, Fletch and Fergie at the gym! I was pleading the security for signature or picture but they didn’t allow me. Security sucks. Haha. So went to office and waited for lunch time so I could go there for last time (yeah, right). When I was there for lunch, the fans told me they’re out for golf and will be back soon. Took an emergency half day and waited with them.

While waiting, Nick Coppack, the official reporter for MU Asia Tour was hanging around in the lobby, so had conversations with him about MU and he said he would mentioned us in his blog. Wasn’t expecting he would do that for real but he did! I was mentioned on MUFC official website! How cool is that? (Maybe it’s a big deal only to me, but who cares again. Haha). Thanks Nick for being such a cool and sweet lad.

Good looking reporter isn't he.Haha.

And when they arrived (like hours of waiting, again), I’ve managed to get Sir Alex Ferguson signature!!! The best manager in the universe!! (He even asked his bonzer to hold my shirt while he signed it because I didn’t put it on hard cover). He’s the sweetest of them all! Second legend to sign my jersey (still no Giggsy L). Managed to se Macheda up close and he nearly signed my jersey if it wasn’t for the stupid security people (Malaysian security mind you). Macheda was a sport too, I guess because it’s his first international fame exposure. Tomorrow they’re going back around 9 (according to Nick) so maybe I’ll stop by to see if I’m lucky to get anyone’s signature (By this day, I was already satisfied with what I’ve had). Oh yeah, my face was on Berita Harian but didn’t manage to buy it.

Tuesday: Managed to arrive before the team left. Waited to see if I could have the impossible Giggsy signature (why was it so hard for you to use the marker and just sign Giggsy *sigh*). When the team finally say goodbye for the last time, I’ve managed to get 2 of Van Der Sar’s signature (Again, a legend, as he is the best keeper in the world!) and nearly got Ferdinand, he was inches away from me! Evra shook hands with the fans and the others just went straight to the bus. So that was it. 3 signatures (4 including Nick) on my jersey are enough for me to frame it and remember it for a long long time.
More crazier fans than me. Lol.

Overall, was the first time I ever done something crazy like this. But it was priceless to see the faces I’ve watched during late night and early morning matches on television, thousand of miles away from home standing like inches away from me, and it were indescribable by words. Crazy or not, this is something I could treasure for the rest of my life. Glorious!

Some of the up close of the players and manager

Priceless Scholes' signature :p

Interviews. And Day Dream.

2009-07-14T01:07:00.000-07:00

Today is Tuesday. Today, bunch of people are coming to office to go through what I had to go through last time: Interview which took the whole day.

I won’t say I love or hate interviews, but so far, I could say I’m fairly good at them, because if I’m great, I’ve already scored jobs with high paying salary (I’m getting average pay now. Money is never enough). I think the most important key to have a good interview is to have personality, not too shy or cocky, just enough dose of confidence to get picked for next round or hired straightaway. I would say interviews are the best platform to test your acting and communication skills. If you’re a natural actor / debater / speaker, even if you’re not a Dean List student, definitely you’ll ace the interviews.

#Rant
I like to day dream. When I day dream, I’ll drift away from the average life I’m living to the world where I am able to be at my happiest. I’m happy now, but with dissatisfaction that keeps bothering me. My top dream lists consist of:

1. Meeting new people and learning new culture all over the world (Blame Travel & Living Channel)
2. Writing a book while lazing on an island in Greece (Blame movies and Travel & Living Channel again)
3. Watching people having their cup of tea while reading books and admiring photographs in my book café (Blame my ambition)

Which one could come true? Amin to all of the above. When it does, I will day dream about something else. for the time being, back to the real world!

Running.

2009-07-01T00:04:00.000-07:00

Reena runs as fast as she can. The black shadows are approaching, nearer by milliseconds. She is about to give up and let the darkness seizes her away to the Unknown. Unknown is a place where nobody dares to speak about. Chill runs through her spine. This is it. This is the last day I would be living my life in the Orb. The last day I could breathe the contaminated but precious air before the Unknown choke her with its blacker than black air and surrounding, or so she heard. Then, her vision’s getting blurry, the black shadows had catch up with her, blanketing her in a complete darkness, and takes her on the journey to the Unknown…TBC

Wake up! Wake up! Wake upppp!

Hidup tanpa arah tujuan memang agak pathetic. We thought we have an aim, a mission, but suddenly the universe is against us. The cyber world produces quite a number of people expressive in term of telling the world how they feel, most of times (with Twitter, ALL the time pun possible).

I admit it I’m one of them. But I have to craft my words in the most correct forms of sentences before I publish them. My nuisance towards grammar is to be blamed. When I watch or play the ‘Are you smarter than a fifth grader’ game, 80% of grammar question would leave me with (?) moment. Like wfish is proverb, pronoun etc. I hate grammar, but I have this need to make sure my English is readable.

Plagiarism. We read other people blogs all the time, the interesting ones will leave us with the motivated feeling, to write as fascinating as theirs but we’ll end up writing the same way we’ve always write. Like mine, I think it’s quite serious, although I think I babble too many random things.

Because of that I will stop writing here. May the fulfilling life await those whose patience is its virtue.

RIP MJ~

2009-06-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

All around the world, people are talking about Michael Jackson’s death.
The same people who brought him on top of the world and brought him down with all the molest stories; surgery went bad mockeries and all those tabloids.
I guess in a way, Michael had peacefully left a cruel world behind him.
However, he had also left a legacy which will continue to inspire the world so it can become a better place.
His songs always motivate and lift me up when I was down. I guess it’s the same with millions of people worldwide.
I guess that’s the impact of music and artists to our life. Especially when we grew up, listening to them.
Healer. Inspire.

May God bless his soul.

Dede akan berkahwin pada hari ini :D

2009-06-17T20:24:00.000-07:00

Because my previous post is talking about Marriage, I would like to make an entry about someone who is about to get married later this day: my BFF! (Some of you know who this person is).

I’ve written hate memoirs before this for him, written some appraisal memoirs (ok, maybe one) but the fact I’ve stuck with him for five years so these things (Annoyance, care etc) were bound to happen right? And finally, this BFF of mine is getting married way earlier than any guys my age (and not to mention from me too) so I’m getting excited and would like to write an entry to wish him and his soon to be wife (which is one of the sweetest girl I ever met) a happily ever after.

I know he will become more mature(r) than before, hopefully wiser (especially in term of words he uses. Lol) and one heck of a dad to his future children (I mean kool. Gosh, why am I doing this? Haha). Last and definitely not least, he will be a great husband to his wife, because I know he is one loyal man and I know he loves her very much. Plus, I love the wife to be, she always back me up when he was being a jerk (sorry de, tak boleh puji all he way, it’s very hard :p).

Thus, to the most perfectly matched couple, which are my friends (and the first one to get married), Dede and Dian, I wish and pray your life together after this will always be blessed by Allah till the end of time (berbahagia sehingga ke anak cucu cicit). Oh, have fun while you’re at it! XOXO!

P/s: Reminiscence made me missed UTP. Deng.

Unwell.

2009-06-15T02:35:00.000-07:00

I’m sick today. I’ve been unwell since the weekend started. Resulted in me missing wedding and any opportunity to go out. Being sick sucks. But maybe it’ll get my body to be better immunized for weeks to come, and for me not to fall sick on times where I CAN’T be sick.

I just want to reminisce the good times that happened recently. My cousins had a double wedding, which was the first among the cousins and it went well. Then, there’s my brother in law’s wedding (to my sis that is) which was a carnival, with wayang kulit, dikir barat, silat etc. It’ll be hard to top that Abang Ngah! Not Fair! Haha.

So many weddings this year, I keep getting ‘you-are-next’ hints from people. Just because my boyfriend is a bit old (lol ;p) and we seem serious (we are) so I think I will keep getting that until the day I really am getting married. Suddenly, from being involved in all these weddings, triggered something I never bother about before: What is my dream wedding? I always joke around and say I want to get married on the beach, with only nearest and dearest (not really original, but oceans have always been my favoritest place on earth) but I doubt the family will approve. Then, I figure, just do double or triple wedding in a nice hall, without having to bekerja keras for the preparation, with that, I can save money, time and energy. But my cousin says the weeks that we’ve worked together was something fun and would make the wedding more memorable.

Thus, I can’t define what my dream wedding is. Yet. What’s yours? I could start thinking when someone actually wants to marry me. (Is this a hint? Haha)

P/S: My sis dream wedding is on a cruise, so I hope it could come true because it would be wickedly awesome :p.

Friday is A Day of Salvation,

2009-05-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

Today is Friday. It’s been 2 weeks and 2 days since I’ve started working at my new engineering company. Too early to comment I guess. But, the atmosphere was calm and contented. Easy and breezy. In the heart of the metropolitan neighbourhood. My ideal location of work. The work itself is un-commendable yet because haven’t done any major work yet. Just a little bit here and there.

What’s with the absent from writing?

Pouring your feelings sometimes can cause the less ideal outcome: the regret of telling things you should keep to yourself. The mundane stuff.

Anyway, time is a factor too. I am actually pride myself in not having to surf the internet the amount of time I’ve used to. Kudos for not having conformed to the digital world which is so tempting and easy to be lost in.

Ok. Enough of boring self statement.

Sad thing happened. Manchester United had lost the Champ League’s final without even trying to Barcelona. I guess it’s a dream final to Barca fans and the neutrals (a.k.a anti MU fans) as they watched MU being overplayed by a definite great team, which balls seem to stick to their legs most of times. I guess I shouldn’t comment more on this, the papers had done so. Whatever the neutrals want to say about MU supporters being defensive and all, I am still happy they’ve ended the season well. They’ve played some great footballs, some bad and annoying footballs, but in the end, what matters is the satisfaction of winning trophies. And they’ve had 3. They could win 5 but they didn’t, so God must be Fair to others (quote from another MU fan. Lol). Glory – glory MU, can’t wait to see them live this July!

Ok. Enough of football issue.

Terminator Salvation was an impressive movie. To me la at least because I was NEVER a bit interested in watching terminator movie / series before. It’s filled with actions and the script was not corny. The angles of the cameras were refreshing. Plus, the director’s name is McG. How cool is that? Haha. I think I can add new favorite actor to my existing list: Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Wentworth Miller, Josh Hartnett and now Christian Bale. I’ve liked him since he acted in the Prestige movie (Btw, again, I love Christopher Nolan movies).

Ok. That’s all with movie stuff.

I hope the weekend will be wickedly awesome. Hope is never a wrong thing to ask eh?
Cheers!

The Order of Universe.

2009-05-11T08:14:00.000-07:00

She sits there. She stares at people walking past her. Some are speeding, either late for work, meeting, or naturally born to walk like that. Some are gliding, full with confidence, or maybe had just received some happy news. So many faces, emotions and attitude you could capture by just watching people. So, her mind wanders, speculating about people who caught her eyes. Why is she sitting there? Why isn’t she walking like them, going to their designated locations?

This is because it’s a foreign place to her. She doesn’t know where to go, what to do or who to talk to. One day, back at the familiar place, she decided she had enough. No more ridicules, no more stress, no more the need to satisfy the people Up Above. And so she quits. It’s not given up, as she likes to think, it’s simply opting the best choice there is.
She’s traveled far, because she doesn’t want to face criticism from people who think she’s made a fatal error. That she left what defines life, which is Normalcy and Haven.

Screw that! She screams inside. Screw society and their orders. I don’t need that now. Or ever. I need Happiness. Impossible, maybe, so to reach at least Contented is good enough.

So as she sits there, thinking about things that can make her happy. Artistic Flair or Voyager? Those things make her happy (so does with many of them), but the helm of possibilities either excites her or frightens her. She couldn’t decide.

Which one should she choose? Should she sit down with plans and strategies? Or should she just start doing whatever crosses her mind right away?

Or maybe, just go back home. And surrender to the Opponent.

She stands, and starts walking. Joining the crowd, she blends in. She’s just one of them after all.

Irony of Feelings.

2009-05-05T15:07:00.000-07:00

I am both happy and sad.
Start with the sad news.
I’m just torn. Like the song Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.

I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn.

As juxtaposition, I’m completely thrilled that MU is going to Rome!
Brilliant Ronaldo, Park, everyone basically. Completely gunned down the Gooners!(Opps..pun intended.Haha)
I love free flowing football. I wish they do that often. And to play Ronaldo as striker had worked for the team tonight(or morning. Wherever you are).

Sir Fergie is truly a living legend (besides Giggsy, Scholesy and numerous names in the past). Even Beckham enjoyed the match. Hehe.
The only setback (ok, major one) was Fletcher (he was great) was sent off. Really unwise decision (I want to say stupid, ok, stupid) by the ref.

Bring on Barca or Chelsea, United just have the B.E.L.I.E.V.E attitude for the moment!

To unwind my sadness in the first part (personal reasons), here’s the funny depiction of the song. Oh, and yea, Glory – glory!

Mind.Food.Drink.

2009-05-04T11:32:00.000-07:00

I enjoy intellectual conversations. I do gossip (I am no angel), I do small talks and all, but what sticks in my mind longer than usual are conversations which are insightful (I always thought I have dory-the-fish-short-term memory. Sigh).

Like example, I’ve followed my boss and colleague to meet their client, where one of them was an ex TUDM pilot. I’ve listened to so many experiences he had for the many years he spent in the armed forces, about Tun, what happened in Bosnia and Acheh, also how God’s punishment can be done in seconds to people who are lost in this temporary material world. It’s scary when you think our world is becoming to its end somehow.

Today, I happened to have another insightful conversation, ranging from the state of our country, to academics, to languages and just life experiences. I love listening to stories from other people because by envying them, you could motivate yourself to be better. I miss conversing with people because when I was working before the people there were, erm, let’s just say not in the same wavelength as I am.

It’s hard to find someone you can tell everything to.
But it brings me some kind of relieved to share my thoughts with people who understand.
In the end of the day, I realize that I do give a damn about the world. And I need people to know. That’s all.

It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 1

Kerja. Work. Emploi.

2009-04-27T20:01:00.000-07:00

That's why it's a DREAM....*sigh*

I’ve been thinking, life isn’t always fair to us. People will never be contented with what they have. I’m one of those people.

I believe in ‘just go with the flow’ attitude. Ok, first I’ve worked in a telesales company, I thought that would definitely help my interpersonal skills, well, it did for few days, but the routine was very depressing, I just had to break free from the job. I did.

Next, my current job, again, diverted from my course of study (which by the way was not my first choice, or second, even third, you get what I mean). The job description was everything I have wanted to do; writing, creative thinking, filming. Who doesn’t want to be involved in something so fascinating like all those things?

Anyhoo, the reality isn’t that exciting. Yes, I did have my ‘fun’ moments, but it went downhill after. I mean, I crave for an adventure in life, so doing research on the internet and just wait for the big break to happen is quite frustrating. I know, patience is virtue, but my logical thinking override my passion. Plus, I love writing in English, so for me to write in Bahasa (bukan tidak suka, cuma tidak pakar menggunakan frasa kata dan kosa kata yang indah seperti bos saya) is a big challenge. I think learning all the technical knowledge had turned me into someone who always think of consequences of my actions.

Boring, I know. Thus, I’ll pray life will take me to my next adventure. Wherever and whatever that might be. Anyway, my dream job is something like my current job, but with actions take place, rather than writing the actions on piece of papers and they are not going anywhere, meaning I’m not going anywhere. Resulting in me writing in blog while searching for ideas. Again, boring.

It's no fun to be yellow. Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yellow and partly the type that doesn't give much of a damn if they lose their gloves.

~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 13

PENYELIA.

2009-04-20T01:39:00.000-07:00

Mengapakah bos wujud di dunia ini? Dan, mengapakah bos kadang – kadang boleh menjadi begitu menjengkelkan sehingga kerja yang dianggap seronok dan menarik itu membuatkan diri terasa bagaikan dihempap beribu-ribu lemon? (yes, just like the advertisement minus the excitement).

Keseronokan tidak akan kekal lama.

Nothing lasts forever kata seorang ahli falsafah. (Or mungkin kata average joe. You don’t know who joe is? Just take a mirror and you’ll know).

Kepeningan itu seperti perkara yang paling senang terjadi apabila kita mahu mengelak diri daripada berfikir. You can’t run away from problem, because problem won’t magically disappear (kuota (quote?) dari Buku Corporate Communication yang saya mengakui saya memang hebat tanpa segan silu.

Jadi, apakah cara terbaik untuk menangani bos begitu?

Quit?(dipanggil loser / quitter)

Start your own business? (applicable to anak orang kaya atau seorang yang cekal kerana kemiskinan bukan penghalang)

Or endure those entire BS because you’ll end up taking his place (berangan – angan) one fine day and you can act exactly like him to your staff? It’s karma, and karma is revenge and revenge is sweet.

Satu sahaja masalah. You’ll never be without a boss. Because boss(ES) can be in so many forms. Maybe there are your parents who act like one, or your spouse, or even your cat, because they keep bugging you for food and even yourself.

Jadi, marilah kita tabah menghadapi dugaan The CEO up above.

The ultimatum of a being is being nothing (ahli falsafah pessimist in the making).

The ultimatum of a being is being everything (ahli falsafah optimist in the making).

The ultimatum of a being is being in between nothing and everything (kata-kata warga indecisive)

WENG MOOD STRIKES AGAIN!

Dunia Gila.

2009-04-12T09:36:00.001-07:00

This song just haunts me…
I love the lyrics.
Because it’s insightful.
Not that I don’t listen to shallow lyric songs (like hip hop or pop)
But those are for FEEL GOOD moments. Where you don’t have to think too much to get what it means.
But when the song has great melody and great lyrics, it would just hit you hard in the heart (or brain. Wherever you want to interepret the songs).
Maybe just me.
Or maybe because Adam Lambert sang it *drool*
I hope he’s not GAY because it would be a TOTAL WASTE for female population.
Just a random thought.
Just feel like this SONG is great.
Goodnight.

Btw, the song is MAD WORLD, originally by Tears for Fears, sang amazingly by Adam Lambert (*drool again*).

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow, no tommorow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
'Cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

Drama.Fiction.Facts.

2009-04-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

Okay. So my job exposes me to facts that is always there but never bothered to Google or care about. I guess others won’t too unless it is portrayed in a way people want to watch it.

I’m going to talk about docu drama, documentary which is dramatized to make it appear more appealing to viewers. People like to see some unrealistic actions portrayed, that’s why people go and pay 8 to 10 bucks (even 40 bucks) for a good movie.

I have some pretty confusing time to absorb the theory of docu drama. Does it have to be like movie, with characters and story line, or is it still documentary with re enactment actions? I’m talking jargons here. Don’t blame me; they are all alien terms to me too. Moreover, I have to be an independent learner because the Others work in other dimension.

Wiki says, docudrama is dramatization of actual historical events. As a neologism, the term is often confused with docufiction. See? I am confused.

Docudramas tend to demonstrate some or most of the following characteristics:

1) A focus on the facts of the event being treated, as they are known;
2) The use of literary and narrative techniques to flesh out or render story-like the bare facts of an event in history;

If it’s up to me, I would dramatize the whole thing. Add some fiction, but it would be a movie la then (or is it docufiction? Oh confusion). With turbulences (i.e actions) in big scale plus scripts like V for Vendetta. Gosh, that sounds dreamy. If only money is no objection, or somehow Steven Spielberg or Christopher Nolan (I love nearly ALL his movies) miraculously want to fund my idea.

Anyhow, being able to watch you tube for work is FUN. But, I’m getting skeptical by my logical thinking…*Sigh*

The public has an appetite for anything about imagination - anything that is as far away from reality as is creatively possible.

Steven Spielberg

FEEDBACKS please.

2009-04-03T19:47:00.000-07:00

This post is to stimulate thinking and to find that eureka moment.

Anyone who is reading is, with all my typing strength, I ask a few seconds / minutes of your time to give opinion about these issues I am going to list down. Do you want these issues to be brought up through the camera lenses? Or do you think it’s too controversial?

1. Segregation of Race
The truth. I don’t have any non – Malay friend I could invite back home (oh, maybe 1) or just hang out with casually. Yes, I do have non – Malay friends and I don’t have any racism issues toward them (or I like to believe so) but why is it hard to befriend them? My reason is because I went to a boarding school where 99% are Malays. And in my university there were about 80% Malays in my course. It’s sad isn’t it thinking how near we live to each other but how far apart our relationship is. I believe everyone should be treated equally (although I admit I’m one of those who have enjoyed the privilege of being a Malay). Up till this point, words speak way louder than actions. I just need to see some or small breakthrough in breaking the races barrier we are all carrying with us all these while.

2. Kids being kidnapped, sold / murdered / never found again
I am getting a bit emotional when it comes to this issue. Especially since the past two years, we’ve seen two major cases which by the way, it’s not solved yet. I’ve heard story from someone (can’t remember who) who told me about kid being kidnapped and few years later bumped into him / her in Bangkok, as a beggar. We’ve seen this being portrayed in many movies but how the reality is never really depicted. Or maybe it’s too sensitive as it questions the authority. Anyway, home was safe once. Now, it’s filled with beasts that go around terrorizing people.

3. Story of ordinary people going through extraordinary life
Apart from those two mind stressing issues, we all need inspiration in life. I’m sure we have people who do inspire people in what they do, where they eventually become the public figure. But do you want to be inspired by a normal average Joe like yourself? If you know anyone worth enough to be a role model, please drop me a line.

Okay, you guys must be wondering what the purpose of this? Why so serious right? Let’s just say, a small step might be a giant leap for my dream to be materialized. I’ll greatly appreciate your help.

New Kind of Workshop.

2009-03-28T07:42:00.000-07:00

First Day

I’ve walked in, doesn’t know what to expect. Mixed feelings of cuakness and excitement churned down inside the stomach. Anyway, after few while, after adapting to the environment and always-have-something-to-say guy besides me, it felt like any other seminar I’ve attended. More interesting perhaps because it’s about filming a documentary. Although there were technical jargons that sound so aliens to me like recci, all the types of camera etc which most of the people there knew (especially the guy besides me). Plus, the trainer was funny. There were some pervert jokes (that was expected before hand with guys were mainly the participants) but he’s not boring, and most importantly, he’s my BOSS. Ha ha. That’s the reason I’ve joined the workshop anyway, because he wanted me to understand the idea of producing a documentary so I can do my job in the future.

I was expecting to be an outcast there, which it was almost right, except for the fact there was one girl who took accounting and now work in advertising (oh yeah, there goes my savior for loneliness). It’s admirable how one could work in an industry people expect you to work in and one day you took the 180 degree turn and go the other direction (I mean her, not me. Lol). Anyway, she’s hot, so no wonder she was willing to take that risk. I was expecting to be intimidated by the way people were going to be expressive and opinionated and I was almost right there too. Although not really intimidated la, just amazed how people could be so confident expressing their thoughts blatantly. There were these two most outstanding people in this workshop, just call them Mr Loud and Miss My Way.

Miss My Way: I wanted to be a producer because I hate the producer who always changed my script and everything. I always fight with them so I want to be producer, director and script writer, all at once so I don’t have to fight with them! (This later proved the reasons why it’s hard to work with her).
Mr Loud: *Lecturer speaking (Trecci whatever). Yes, I KNOW THAT (and more perhaps). WE SHOULD DO THIS (My way is the best). HAHAHHA (which forced me to laugh too because he was laughing with his face tilted towards me. So it’s rude not to do so. Lol).

If you don’t get it, just ignore the re – enactment I’m trying to produce here. My point is it’s a whole new world with same type of people. The major difference is there are more people in one specific characteristic (i.e expressive) and to see how passionate they are with their jobs are something to be admired and intimidated of.

The rest of the workshop

I’ve followed the two teams to shoot their documentary at Paya Indah Wetland in Dengkil with different themes and definitely different way of working. It was a sanctuary with great view. If you want to escape the hustle bustle of city life, do come to the place because serenity is its middle name. Anyway, there were some dramas and more gossips throughout the shooting and post production between the team members of both teams. It was a relieved to me not to join any group and decided to be an observer.

The People, Animals, Scenes and Moi captured using my beloved K550i (Bile la nak ade DSLR nie)

However, it was also a setback because each time I went to one group, they would ask me about what the issues the other team was having or what were they talking about them. Lol. I could say that age didn’t really give you wisdom in certain aspects. There was also an unexpected predicament in the middle of the workshop when the facilitator a.k.a my boss got the news that his father had passed away in the middle of the class. What an emotional scene of real life was depicted there. So, he had to go back and postponed the preview of the documentary next week. Moreover, the more I’ve talked to the people I’ve met there; the more envious I am with what they have achieved. There was this one guy who was at his 30’s (tapi kelihatan sangat muda), had his master of culinary (chef) in Perth, worked in New York, traveled the world and decided that he had enough experience in that area and now joined the film force. How amazing was that? It was such an inspiration to live life to the fullest like that.

All in all, this was a tiring, exciting and refreshing experience to someone who had no knowledge or idea on what really happened behind the scene of every documentary / drama / film etc. For me to join all these new / experienced directors / producers etc brought the sense of appreciation to the industry I often criticized, because I now know little by little how hard it is to work as artistic people (and limited the opportunity to venture into something new and fresh) and how the industry is under appreciated. Moreover I know that Fauziah Latif likes guy with bald head (gossip itu penting okay. LOL).

Unique. Weird. Bring it on.

2009-03-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I had quit my old job and now working on a new job. Reading back my post on how optimistic the previous job looks like was something I have to learn from: Never expect life would always be all rainbows to you. Because in the end, rainbows do disappear and most of the times it’s just grey clouds dimmed the lights (All these metaphors are just for own artistic flair, lol, meaning life is never fair). Anyway, I can never sit at home and do nothing, so here I am, working in a production house, very diverted from my course of studies. However, the path is still of interest. Moreover, I am starting to feel the optimism up again, but not to say I am loving the job, sufficient to say it’s pretty cool for the moment. Because I am an entertainment addict, I love everything from journalism to music to movies, so to be involved in the industry itself will show me just how wonderful the industry is, OR, how ironic it would turn out to be.

I am still green, the coast is still clear, so I hope I can enjoy myself doing things that don’t stress me out. Just hope it won’t have frequent cats and dogs rain, if anyone do understand my try-to-sound-poetry-but –not-that-good metaphore. Oh, and people, if you have weird hobbies or wild hobbies, like duct tape artist, junk craftman, any extreme weird sports, or collecting Google logos (for real!haha) or know anyone who does, drop me a line here. It might be your way to stardom! (Or maybe a one day chance to be on TV. At least you can brag to your children one day).

Ok, like this. But don't worry, doesn't mean you're a weirdo. Really.

P/S: MU, please don’t sucks anymore. Work harder ok! Lol.

Joy Part 2. Not really joyous.

2009-03-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

He picks up another pebble and throws it as far as he can. The sounds of wind and pebble dropped into the black lake bring satisfaction to him somehow. “This is for screwing up my life!!” he throws another pebble while shout the words as loud as he can. Nobody can hear him because he’s all alone there. The lake was muddy and probably an ex mine, hidden from the big road he used to cycle home from school every day. He considers the spot his sanctuary, a place he can be himself. Away from hypocrisy of the world he is forced to live in. It’s not a pretty sight, it’s gloomy and spooky, but it’s better than real world. “Am I a psychopath?” He thought to himself. He watched Oprah last night about a guy who mastermind the murder of his family because he felt he doesn’t live up to his parents’ expectations, so killing them ease the burden to be someone he’s not. But the fact he loves watching Oprah definitely makes him as normal as any kid his age. Or mature (i.e geekier) than any of the kids. He feels relieved in that sense but depressed in latter because he’s not like the people in his age group, who loves MTV and Indie bands, who think skinny jeans and box shaped shirts are the ultimate fashion statement and shuffle is the thing you have to know to appear cool and have thousands friends on MySpace. Blame the internet for deciding popularity and latest culture ones should adopt.

After absorbing his mind in the serenity of the lake, he feels at ease. “Tomorrow is a promissory note, don’t count on it. Just use the cash you have today man.” Philosophy always bring some motivation for him to face another day, especially when shit happens. And today is a shitty day. It started with the fact he woke up late, that led to he forgot to bring his wallet and had to starve the whole day at school. And to make things worse, he had to do public speaking at today’s assembly on, sardonically, Eating Disorder. To add the double dose of humiliation, his stomach grumbles with a loud sound at perfect timing when he’s saying something about not eating will give you more health problem than being skinny. One of them even shouts “Don’t worry, we’ll help you dude!” Followed by stream of laughs and he eventually forced a fake chuckle to cover his already red face. So it ended up with people shot him a mixture of pity, concern and smirk all day long. “What a great day to start your final year of high school,” he sighs. There’s only one thing he is looking forward to this year: the photography club. He has saved up money during school break and bought a DSLR. Nikon D60. The perfect camera for a beginner. One might argue between Canon and Nikon but he always think Nikon is better. Just because. If money is no objection, he would definitely buy a Leica. Classic and one of a kind, it feels like him. Besides, he has practiced taking pictures of flowers, grass and water drops (some says they are essentials in photography, or what he had observed from Flickr).

While he was thinking about what would be the first assignment in the photography club this year, someone is creeping slowly through the grass, eyeing him with a devilish grin. Slowly, the person tip toed and right as he’s about to throw another pebbles, a pair of soft hands covered his eyes, “Guess Who??” A voice so familiar he smiles and the stress he felt a moment ago seem to reduce greatly. “Geez, I have no idea. Please don’t kidnap me because I’m broke and a burden to society. A total waste to you,” giggling while turning him around, the hands loosing the grip, and he can catch the glimpse of an oval shape almond eyes with that familiar smile he hasn’t seen in ages. “Ilia, what the hell are you doing here! I thought you are supposed to be in some land of the Gladiators right now?” He seems to have the urge of hugging Ilia but being a good guy, he just hold her hands and lead her into the bush where he came from to his bicycle. “Ah, why are we going out? I want to hang out here and talk to you.” “Oh, no. We’re not. I can’t risk having real kidnapper here and having your dad cut off my head for endangering the life of his favorite and only princess. I know he wants to for some times now.” Laughing at his statements, she put her hands around his shoulder. “So, BFF, what’s up? Or down, judging from your emotional let out just now? Rested against his bicycle, he sighs. “Can I just say life is a major suck up? Well, maybe with the exception of having a perfect BFF who knows when to show up at the same time I feel like a lake is my current best friend.” Laughing heartily, Ilia look simply radiant. Her hair is long and wavy, and she has gotten an inch taller than the last time he saw her.

She had moved to Italy just when they were about to enter secondary school. She was his best friend from the moment he picked her as his assistant monitor in Standard 2. He had a major crush on her during that time, but it gradually disappeared (or maybe not completely) as they became best friends until she moved to Italy. He was so upset he didn’t talk to her for about a year, but thanks to the technology, they’ve started to chat on YM, gradually see each other when she visited Malaysia and continued to do so until this very day. He knows everything that’s going on with her, from her first boyfriend, to her first kiss (yeah, they are more liberal there) and she’s been doing part time modeling there, no wonder she’s looking so good now. “Guess what?!! I’m going to finish my O Level here! Meaning we’ll see each other more often, isn’t this wonderful??” He knocks out his bicycle for the shocking news. “Er, and where are you studying?” He is really hoping for a different answer than what’s coming. “Yours, like duh! It’s an international school right? I want to go to school everyday with you, like we used to. Oh, it’s going to be so much fun!” Her excitement is what dreading him all these while. Never thought his worst predicament would come true. He likes the way it’s already is. The long term and long distance friendship he has developed with her. “Oh, Syafiq, she’s about to discover what a loser you are at school. Prepare for trouble.” Forcing a fake smile, he tries to impersonate the level of excitement she is having. “Sure Ilia, it’ll be like the good old times.” Walking back together with Ilia, he knows what little truth lays in that statement.

Musika.

2009-03-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I love music.

I felt music is truly the best stress reliever. Okay, besides praying to God that everything will turn out better.

I love people who sing from their hearts. Even more so when they put a little bit of themselves into the songs (like write their own songs, their own way of singing).

My family members LOVE to sing and I love singing with them. We have some raw talents there. Maybe because my late grandfather loved playing the harmonica and sang songs (Oh, I miss him).

Anyway, music is indeed the window of your soul. Gosh, I used to have crushes on lead singers, anyone who can pour out their emotions through singing. Although I know there are ways to express rather than singing, but singing still touches my heart every time (yes people, I am a sensitive and sentimental being. I have a pretty high empathy).

The reason for my post is because American Idol is back and they have massive talented singers there. But for the moment, I’m rooting for Adam Lambert. I wanted Anoop to do well so badly but he just messed his second (or third) chance big time. He has another chance to prove himself. Adam is one of a kind. And a rockstar. Just LOVING IT.

By the way, Anoop used to be in a group of REALLY talented people back at his university called Clef Hangers. They were brilliant! I wished there was one like this back at UTP (it’s too late anyway. Heh). Here’s one of the many videos I’ve watched of them.

Play the music, not the instrument.

Meow.Moo.I don't know how bear sounds like.Lol.

2009-03-07T21:55:00.000-08:00

Although I LOVE cats and cows so much, now, I have a second thought. Bear...your life seems sooo appealing...So easy...So carefree....

Beautiful. Yes. Mess? Far from it.

2009-03-05T05:49:00.000-08:00

Pics from h/phone

Magnificent would be my adjective to sum up Jason Mraz Live in Kuala Lumpur concert last night. It was way better than listening to his songs in the album. He was such a creative and entertaining musician. He’s a super talented song writer, with looks and cool personality (he’s got it all. One fine guy he is. Hehe). Anyway, I was not an obsessed fan before I went to the concert, I listen to his songs throughout the years and liked few of them, but last night might just turned me into a big fan. I even you-tubing all the live performances from last night. Haha.

Anyway, last night was great. No complaints (other than wishing I was up front there) and the crowds were great. It was a full house (I’ve watched Muse before and it’s wasn’t as packed as Mraz) but they’re still well behaved. No pushing and those annoying actions, everyone seems to have blast. My favorite songs were geek in the pink, you and I both, beautiful mess and he did a bit of medley with the remedy with Oasis Wonderwall. He sang his songs differently from the way he sang them in the album; give us the element of astonishment. Such a genius. Moreover, he’s sooooo genuinely warm himself, so it’s really easy to enjoy the show (he’s said thank you in different languages. Heh). He even took a few pictures using a Polaroid and threw them to the crowds (lucky them). Oh, only one minor disappointment. The girl who sang Lucky with him was completely a stranger (to me la at least) and her voice just didn’t suit the Lucky song. I wished earlier it would be someone with a soothing voice, like Yuna. Anyway, just my personal opinion.

All in all, the best concert I’ve been to so far. Jason Mraz, you’ve made my day in this gloominess of time =). My wish list for next artist to come : Mika (I dig his songs like realllyy much ok), Bon Jovi, Lily Allen and N Sync Reunion Concert (Haha).

He sang, every little thing will be all right. Yes, I hope so too =)

Brangelina.

2009-02-25T07:31:00.000-08:00

To lazy to write?
Yes, that explains ideally my condition for the past few days.
Lame. I know.
It’s not like this is an assignment I have to submit.
But writing is self gratifying. Personally.
So, today, now, I’m going to write about random things.

I’ve watched:
1) Slumdog Millionaire
2) Curious Case of Benjamin Button
3) Changeling

And I absolutely love: all of them. Not only because they are Oscar Nominated / Winner (though it was the main reason I’ve watched them) and not only because there are two of my favorite actor and actress (Oh, Brad and Angelina, you guys are too gorgeous), the movies are filled with emotion, plot and meaning. Let me reviewed briefly my opinion on these 3 movies.

Slumdog : Combination of fairy tale of a boy who wins Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, with very fascinating journey of life that leads to every right answer, portraying the reality of people in the slum of India. I’ve read so few Indian author novels like White Tiger and they are eye opener to the other side of culture and world.

Curious Case: A definite fiction, how life is filled with happiness and miseries from an eye (or more to writing) of a person born to live life in reverse. I love movies which depict writing in diaries because that showed what you wrote will be left behind and remembered. Life is not perfect, but what you made out of it that matters.

Changeling: True Story. A determined mother that fights for her rights, against group of arrogance men is so my type of movie. I believe in woman rights and power. This story is all about that. Also, portrays life is shitty, but you don’t give up. You have hope. We all need that in life. Angelina rocksss! (haha).

Okay. That’s all for the movie review. I’ve finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the third time and it never fails to move me. Sometimes, I wonder, what is my contribution to the world, or at the very least to my family, and myself? I am yet to be determined by these people to finally found the answer. May God help me.

Some good reading =)

2009-02-22T06:20:00.000-08:00

Ok peeps. I am lazy to forward this on facebook, but I'm sharing this on my blog. My cousin forwarded it to me and I think it's a very interesting read (I've posted this after reading Fareez's blog so this is for you. Lol). Anyone who has articles / thoughts / opinions, please feel free to discuss them. I am no economist, but it'll be great to know these things (especially given the current turmoil we're in). And, to realize that money isn't everything. Cheers!

Leader of the Pack - Hasman on Wednesday

During the high level conference in Bank Negara two weeks ago, Morgan Stanley‘s chief economist Stephen Roach pointed out that Asia will probably will not de-couple from the US and Europe during this current crisis although we have a huge pile of reserve in the balance sheet. The main reason for this would be : “Asian countries tend to be followers, not leaders, so any recovery will depend on the recovery of the developed nations”.

As at 30 Nov 2008, the total US Treasuries have amounted to slightly over USD 3 trillion in circulation. Out of this USD 3 trillion, China and Japan, which is the largest and second largest subscriber of the US Treasuries, have a total combined holding of USD1.2 trillion (approximately 40%). To put things into perspective, this bloody country is borrowing money from the rest of the world especially Asia. We are financing their lifestyle (like Wall Street executives). We look up to them (like the Hollywood celebrities). We are not doing anything when they have murdered our brothers & sisters (like in Iraq). When they screw up, we have to bail them out (like Temasek, GIC & Abu Dhabi bought into Merrill, Citibank). When we purchase their Treasuries they use our hard earn money to maintain their high maintenance lifestyle (AIG top executives are still using taxpayers’ money for their fox hunting games). Who needs this kind of leadership? Without our money, the Americans will be poorer than the people in the slums of Asia. It is time for us to turn our backs; we live by our own rules and chart our own destiny. We should be the leader! How does one become a leader? One, we need to be innovative. When the Jewish children come back from school their mothers will not ask them how’s school today or what they have learned in school. Their mothers will ask them how many questions did they asked the teacher instead. By asking questions they will think outside of the box and be innovative. So, today when your children come back from school, ask them how many questions did they ask their teacher.

Gold Finger

Recently, I attended a talk on commodities market and outlook. The presenter showed a table on the amount of gold reserve in the world. When I studied the table, I saw US has the largest percentage amount of tonnage in gold against its reserves, which amounted to 76%. Only then I realized, “crap, this country has the highest gold percentage reserve, whereby the world is using its fake paper money for trading”. Next, I saw countries which had high foreign reserves like China, Japan & Russia. They have only less than 2% of gold tonnage against their reserves. It finally dawned to me that the whole thing is a total screw up. The world is using worthless US Dollars to trade and invest in US Treasuries as US is holding the largest amount of gold against its reserves. Let’s say if the US Dollar goes “kaput” then the global monetary system will revert to gold standard. In any way, US will still be benefiting. Nonetheless, I believe the emerging countries like China & Russia will eventually add more gold to its reserve and there seems to be a positive future for gold price. So, start buying gold.

USA
Tonne: 8,133.5
Reserve 76%

Germany
Tonne: 3,412.6
Reserve 64%

France
Tonne: 2,508.8
Reserve 59%

Italy
Tonne: 2,451.8
Reserve 62%

Switzerland
Tonne: 1,040.1
Reserve 24%

Japan
Tonne: 765.2
Reserve 2%

Netherlands
Tonne: 621.4
Reserve 58%

China
Tonne: 600.0
Reserve 1%

Russia
Tonne: 495.9
Reserve 2%

Taiwan
Tonne: 422.4
Reserve 4%

Portugal
Tonne: 382.5
Reserve 86%

India
Tonne: 357.7
Reserve 3%

(Source: IMF)

The Cube

When I graduated from college and went into the work force, I was very idealistic in achieving my goal. One of them is monetary goal. When you are trained as a capitalist in college, you work your life through as a capitalist. When I had just started working, I created a spreadsheet on compounded returns, savings inflow, expense outflow and additional bonus injection to achieve RM 1 million when I reach 40 years old. So, I charted my life out towards becoming a millionaire by 40. However, after a super stressful outing in Singapore for 5 years and burned out, I found myself wondering if this is what I really want in life? Will becoming a millionaire make me happy? Sacrificing my time with my family so I can have a million in a bank account worth it? There are so many unanswered questions.

I have many non-Muslim friends who went on pilgrimage journeys to their respective holy places like India, Tibet and Vatican. For Muslims, it is a well known fact that the pilgrimage journey is one of the pillars of Islam. A Muslim is required to go on pilgrimage to Mecca once in their life time if he or she has the means to go. Taking this notion from Ridhwan Bakar, a young author, “when you go on a pilgrimage to Mecca you will become a millionaire”. In Islam, when you pray alone, Allah will grant you 1 good deed (pahala). If you pray in jama’ah, meaning praying with other people, with an Imam leading the prayers, Allah will give you 27 good deeds. When you pray in Masjid Nabawi in Madinah, Allah will give 1000 good deeds per prayer. So, if you spend 8 days in Madinah and prayer 5 times a day in jama’ah, you will get 1,080,000 good deeds (1000 x 27 x 8x5). So, during pilgrimage usually pilgrims will spend about 8 days in Madinah before proceed to Mecca. By spending 8 days in Madinah, Allah will grant the pilgrim a millionaire status in good deeds, insyallah. Therefore, the millionaire status has become subjective to me now. It is not only monetary form; it comes in other shapes as well.

Joy

2009-02-16T20:17:00.000-08:00

Syafiq can’t stop smiling since an hour ago. The sky seems bluer, the cloud seems whiter, and the fat girl he used to feel sorry for seems slimmer. Yes, it’s a great and beautiful day for Syafiq. From afar, he could see a glimpse of Ilia, the most stunning girl he ever sees, which he is having a crush on for ages. “Nothing can go wrong today”, he says to himself.

Surrounded by her friends, Ilia has been bestowed upon her a mix parentage of Chinese-Indian-Malay, which indescribable by any term used by ordinary people. If Chinese and Indian parentage you would call them Cindian, if Indian and Malay you would call them Indian Muslim (or Mamak in not-so-proper manner), if Chinese and Malay you would call them Mualaf or Apek or Amoi look-alike, but the combination? MaCinDian? Or MCD? Lol. He calls them the most beautiful thing in planet. Or perhaps that applies to Ilia only. Maria Ilia Noah. The girl nearly every guy has a crush on (except for Anand. He doesn’t like girls. Say they are annoying). Those fair skin, black hair and hazel eyes. Plus, she can sing too. She sang a Britney song last week and that was amazing. Better than Britney anyway. “Oh, sometimes God gives some people the best of everything,” he sighs. But knowing that he happens to be one of some people who are blessed today makes him feel equal to Ilia.

Walking with head up high, he flashes his winning smile to Ilia and her group of friends. They are giggling and whispering to each other, but Ilia, being all composed and graceful, simply smile back, with the most sincere smile he ever received from anyone. Well, maybe because Ilia never smiles at him before. He was the invisible man. Not anymore. What happened today really made him feel like on top of the world and anything is achievable. “Just give it a shot Syafiq.” Walking with guys around him stares coldly, and girls look up to him, Syafiq feels envied and somewhat popular, like Zac Efron. Oh not Zac. He was already popular back then in High School Musical. More to O Shia La Beouf when he became a hero after he had a car which turned out to be a high tech, super cool robot. “Okay, here it goes,” he stops right in front of Ilia, where the big moment is about to take place. “Ilia, I want you to be my assistant. Cikgu Amin said I can choose anyone I want.” Pause. All eyes are on them now. “Sure Syafiq,” Ilia grins while receiving the attendance book Syafiq is handing her.

Syafiq is all smiles, with incomplete teeth shown that can’t hide his happiness. It’s the best day of Syafiq’s life when he’s appointed as the class monitor of Kelas 8 Cempaka.

Welllllllllll, life has its challenges. I am in one. I hope I can keep the optimism running high. For anything its worth, I am liberating in the midst of glooms. Metaphore. Just for me to get it. Heh.

Escapism.

2009-02-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

A 20-something man sits in a taxi in front of his parents' house, trying to find the strength to tell them that he had quit college. Right before the final exam of the final examination of the final year started. He never feels as exhilarating as he ever feel before. Not even when he and a bunch of his friends tried to sneak in the girls’ dorm and being chased by the burly looking warden, whom he always suspected had a crush on him.

“Come on Josh, just do it. You’re a free man now. A nearly real adult.” His mental note to self.

Walking coolly but with obvious trembling hands, towards the door, he could hear noises in the house. “Damn, are they having dinner parties? Shoot, I should have chosen a better time.” Right before he turned his back to walk away from the doorstep, the door opens. “Joshua Sean Philip! My, you are all grown up now!” Standing opposite of him is Anna Marie Smith, not a relative of Anna Nicole Smith and definitely doesn’t have any resemblance of her except maybe by the exaggeration of the way she talks. Hugging him and kissing him, her high pitch voice had alerted his family members of his presence. Dad, Mom, annoying little brother and the last person who comes out the door literally stops his heart for a second (or two).

Natalia Johnson. Summer 2000. It was the best summer because Natalia, the angel sent from heaven (metaphorically) was there, with her soft supple skin and big brown eyes. Today, in 2009, she looks much better, and ehem, with an exquisite womanly figure (in translation: smoking hot). “Joshyyy, I miss you so much.” Look how tall and good looking you are now”. She gives him a small peck on the cheek, leaving him blushing.

“Honey, I thought you’ll be back next week. This is such a surprise. We’re planning to throw you a graduation party,” the sound of graduation stops his heart the second time. “Oh, Dear God, you are punishing me now aren’t you,” he walks slowly but dreadfully while plaster a fake smile, especially to Natalia. “Joshy, I heard you are graduating in Mechanical Engineering right. I’ve remembered you told me that you wanted to become a photographer and travel the world when we were little. You, with your Polaroid, always asked me to pose in weird angles and places,” she laughs. “This might not be a bad thing after all. She remembers I want to become a photographer and I think I have found the best person to back me up.” Josh is feeling the blood is running through his vein again.

Sitting in the living room, where everyone is looking so happy, and his father is beaming with pride he never seen before, not even when his brother won the National Debate Competition last year (yes, he is a nerd) is a hard sight to swallow. “Josh, I was just talking to Anna and Natalia here. How you were against the idea of studying Mechanical Engineering and wanted to take up photography. But in the end, here you are, an engineering graduate. Putting aside your dream for your family.” Oh, his heart just dropped from its position, wherever it is. But Natalia words before brought it back into its normal position and he is ready to say it. Out loud. Before he opens his mouth, he sees a smirk on Natalia face.

“By the way Josh, I’m glad you took engineering. Because honestly, all the pictures you took were not that good. And dull.” Echoes of laughter in the house following Natalia’s comment and all Josh could see is blurry images and a very drab future ahead, contradiction of his initial feeling when walking out of the taxi.

There is only one thing to be done now. Go back to the university with an MC. ASAP.

Rants.

2009-01-30T23:46:00.000-08:00

I haven’t written anything for a while. So here goes what happened while I was away from the computer:

1) I’ve got a job. Alhamdulillah. But this job requires me to be competitive and very good at it. If I’m not, I have to find a fallback plan (Remember, always have a fallback plan as my favorite quote from Ford says, “Failure is an opportunity to begin again intelligently.”). Anyway, I’m optimistic and the people there are filled with optimism. Good start. Stay tune for the bad sides. Hoho.
2) They said there was supposed to be gerhana matahari last week. I’ve waited and wore my sunglasses and everything and there was none. Yes, I love astronomical event. It amazes me every time.
3) While waiting for the gerhana, I’ve watched Oprah’s Big Give on Hallmark. It’s a game show where people compete to be the most generous, creative and biggest giver to people in need. Another thing that never fails to amaze me is how people can be selfless. But to be selfless you have to be quite selfish in some part of the show because it’s still a competition. Ironic huh? Anyway, Oprah is awesome. It’s my dream to watch her live show one day (And perhaps get the freebies. I’m still a human ok. Hehe).
4) I’ve watched a malay movie again. It’s Maut and surprisingly I was not annoyed with the movie at all. It’s quite menginsafkan. There were some glitches here and there (like Liyana Jasmay sucks, surprisingly) but it was meaningful. I’m all about logic. And I think Underworld 3 is just ok. Nothing superbly fantastic. And Inkheart quite sucks.

So people, like the Big Give phrase, “Give Big or Go Home.” Lol. Kidding. Give anything and never expect anything in return will make you a whole lot better person. Wish me luck in my new stage of life!

P/s: The post above written last week. Blame the stupid old ancient internet. For the moment, I feel shitty. You know how good moment turns bad to worse in a split second? In my case, in 5 minutes. Tell me; is it too difficult to change some things if you claim you care for that person? Or end up blaming them because that’s the way you are. Who is the bigger child here? Shoot. I hate writing this down but I need the negative energy out. Right now. I think we all need to change. For better.

Dedication to Penoreh Getah =)

2009-01-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, I realize I miss my boyfriend (not that I never miss him. I do. I just don’t write off my feelings on that area). Sure, we don’t have the picture perfect relationship (LDR gets the blame most of times) but I have never been so serious about a relationship like I have with him.

Okay, he’s not that romantic. He never gives me flowers. How us women drool over guys who give flowers, write songs for us, sing for us, cliché right? He’s super busy and the 4 hour difference results me sleeping when he just got back from work. I used to be very sad for the un-ideal (blame the movies) man I’ve got here.

Yes, there’s definitely a ‘but’ (not butt. Okay, lame). I am quite ill tempered, he is super patient. I need space, he definitely gives me space. I like cow, he bought me cow that can dance. Hehe. And he admits he’s not perfect. He said to me one day that he doesn’t know how to make poems, sing, even talk properly, but he can take pictures and that says them all without words (great photographer my man is). And that’s why Allah meets us up. To complete each other. Now, can you tell me how to not fall in love with this guy?;)

Anyway, if you’re reading this, I’m glad you took the kids’ pictures more than a year ago. Because I believe I have found my Mr Right. Thanks for everything =).

*Jiwang mode people. Hehe.

His work*beams*

Iklan (I have no idea wat good will this brings).

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

The best blogging techniques.
How to get traffic to your blog.
How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

War..Please Go Away.

2009-01-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

I’m thinking……
I have no power in stopping the war that’s been happening.
I am a nobody.
Although I’ve dreamt of being a somebody (to make a difference).
Resolution? And the US with their ‘berkecuali’ attitude.
What the fish?
Civillians are dying every single day..
My mom wants to stop going to McD for the moment. And starbucks.
Deng. Ayam Spicy McD and Caramel Frappucino are favoritest non-healthy food and drink of mine.
But I agree to stay abstinence because that’s the least I can do. (but I'm young and easily tempted. Tolonglah bertahan).
I’m jobless (for the moment). I can’t donate thousands of ringgit.
I’m no Mercy volunteer, nor an army.
My blog is not read by Bush or Israel or Hamas leaders. Even Obama. And Tun M.
I can pray. Yes, I can do that. I hope God hears me. And thousands of people.
Because beside all that, “berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul.”
Can anyone suggest me on anything better to do?

Martial Art anyone?

2009-01-07T19:59:00.000-08:00

Stand away Edward Cullen! I have a brand new favorite hero…=)
Introducing……(Drum roll)

Oh..Oh...(Yes, I'm excited because I'm in love.Lol)

The real YIP Man. He sure looks fit.

Donnie Yen. But I don't dig this metrosexual look :p

Ip Man! Oh. He is superkool plus macho plus hebat berkungfu (even though it’s said to be feminine martial art but it’s sooo soft yet powerful and GREAT)..Err, I think my grammar is completely off but seriously, Ip Man, you rock! And you’re real! He’s the master of the talented, respected Bruce Lee. This guy who played Ip Man is Donnie Yen and he is a martial art practitioner himself. So, that’s a major bonus point. Good look, Cool personality, Powerful…Yet modest, all in all, my dream GUY. And, I love the movie! I’m a sucker for movie where people fought for their independence (The war era especially. To name a few like Leftenan Adnan, Saving Private Ryan etc2). Another plus plus, the villain (the Japan General. Real Name: Hiroyuki Ikeuchi) is hot too! He looks a bit like Michael Scolfield (Oh, my fav tv series hero).

Hensem kan orang jahat neh? A Judo practitioner too :p

Overall, it’s the first movie I’ve watched in 2009 and it sets very high bar for other movies to come! I used to love watching Kungfu / Martial arts drama like Journey to the West (Oh, Fong Sai Yuk) and Jackie Chan movies but haven’t watch any for a while. Oh China-Wood, please produce more of these please then I won’t be disappointed when I go to movies and buy my tics (because I regard myself as quite a harsh critic).

Btw, wish me luck people. My future seems to have a turnaround for the moment. Amin. =).

Thugz~

2009-01-03T09:30:00.000-08:00

Today, I saw something amusing but also somewhat triggered some disturbance in my ever evolving brain. There was this Hotlink Shop which was under a company registered as Thugz Communication. As in thug. Samseng. I was like, apekah ini? I laughed at first, felt how very phony it sounded, but then I was disturbed (Ya, minda saya ini twisted).

There are so many thugs around lately in Malaysia. They are from many races (let’s say thugs are multiracial, unlike Mafia. Lol). They are everywhere and they are increasingly scarier and dangerous. Last month, 2 of my cousins were mugged by using parang. Okay, thank god they were all right but the samsengs are getting bolder in harassing and intimidating public citizen like my cousins, my sister, my aunties, your families, everyone basically. I’m sure out of 10, 7 had encounters with any form of thugs (orang gila excluded. They were minor threats. I was one of the victims. But still scary merry).

And, do you notice how taman perumahan has guards now? Malaysia is becoming unsafe, and paranoid people can have nervous breakdown soon if thugs will continue terrorizing our country. I don’t know if there is a point of writing this post because the current government doesn’t seem to have a stand on anything against criminal / war etc2. On anything. Period. Maybe if any thug is reading this could hear (read) my plead and stop stealing and harassing others and maybe open up a shop like those people in Thugz Communication (I hope they don’t steal. They can be quite a role model when I think about it), the world will be a better place. Okay, saya sudah merepek. May peace be upon us all.

Azam Tahun Baru.

2009-01-01T23:48:00.000-08:00

New Year. 2009.
How did you celebrate your new year?
Partying? Kenduri Doa Selamat? Or just hang out with nearest and dearest (or two of them, or ALL. Believe me, they are people who combine them :P). I had a blast with cousins. Crazy, but still sane and they’re the best people to hang out with.

Anyway, New Year is all about leaving the past behind and aim to improve ourselves right? Hence, resolution comes and takes place.

Some find them motivating while others say its utter bullshit because putting them in a piece of paper won’t guarantee you will fulfill them. People change when they are ready to change. Putting them in words is a way of making a promise they’ll change. It’s like an agreement we are bind to. However, how many of us really turn them into actions? I’m not one of them as I am a procrastinator. So, I am 85% agree with people who think resolution on New Year is kinda waste of time. But I do believe we can aim at anything, and it’s a lifetime commitment.

Anyway, please watch Yes Man to get some kind of motivation. Funny and insightful. Plus, Jim Carey was not too over dramatic. I can’t stand his OTT behaviour in other films but this one is exceptional. Saying yes is not that difficult, so peeps start saying YES to life. (No to No man No man! Lol).

Happy New (and blessed) year~

2008-12-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

It’s 1 Muharram 1430. What have you done upon reaching the New Year in Islamic calendar? What have I done? Have I been a good Muslim? Have I contributed enough in ensuring my place at the unimaginable beauty of Jannah? (Heaven). I know I am imperfect, you are imperfect, but if we believe in God’s Love and Mercy, instead of saying we’ll change one day, why don’t we do it today? This year. It’s a new chapter and we’ll decide what to write on these pages. Make them colorful, but still abide by His laws. It will definitely make our life more calm, contented and more importantly, blessed by Him.

Ya Allah, Dear Lord, on this blissful Awal Muharram, bless and love my brothers and sisters who are reading this, bless their families with good health and fortunes, strengthen their iman and faith, give them the pleasure of ibadah and keep them away from fitna’ and misfortunes. Plant the Islamic values in them and their families, and put them in YOUR heaven without hisab. Amin.

Note: Happy Gregorian New Year too.

Oh.Future.Please Be Bright.

2008-12-23T23:06:00.000-08:00

I think I haven’t write anything meaningful (read: serious) for quite sometimes. Maybe seriousness is not in. Maybe I need to make new resolution on not being serious on blogs. Ok, this sound serious. Lol.

Anyway, 5 freaking years had passed. So where am I now? Answer: Duduk rumah, goyang kaki, jadi belon. Seriously. I used to be such an optimistic person (maybe not verbally, but my inner self is filled with optimism energy) but lately I feel the degree of optimism is slowly declining (faster by the state of where I am: jobless, no job interviews etc2). Ok, I’ve just graduated, I shouldn’t give up too soon but I’m trying to figure out a fallback plan. The what ifs are bothering me every day (while I’m watching Astro while eating chocolates, especially the Travel and Living Channel. They are living their dream lives and I am………….soon to be filled).

What if I’m not hired by the time of my graduation day?
What if the economic recession continues to make it hard for me to be employed?
What if I gain weight and I look like mess on my graduation day?
What if MU doesn’t win any trophy this season (apart for the marvellous first ever world club cup that day)?

(See, I think too much)

Anyway, I’ve thought of furthering my studies, but there are concerns on the courses and the fees (especially oversea). I am setting my mind to do Msc in engineering management (or anything equivalent to that), if I am not employed by March (ok, that’s first resolution). Plus, I think I’m procrastinating. I have filled my to-do list a few months ago and I need catching up to do. (Note: involve something with car and also the traveling part). Okay, now that I write it down, I guess I am normal. A bit abnormal due to excessive thinking that leads to minimal depression but will be easily cheered by anyone who wants to offer job / holiday package / movie tickets / Any activities paid by the other party (LEGAL only). Anyone interested? Heh.

By the way, best ke kerja kat panggung wayang? (Another fallback plan :p).

MOKA Langkawi Trip

2008-12-18T05:18:00.000-08:00

I have just got back from my Langkawi Trip. It’s been quite sometimes since I’ve been there, the last time with my late grandfather and grandmother. So it felt like a brand new Langkawi. By the way, it’s a family trip with 40 of us.

We chartered a bus (oh, first time too) as it would be easier (so we thought) which was delayed for some reasons (Abang, we never blame you okay). All right, let me summarize the trip activities.

First Day

Arrived at 6 plus am. Ferry was at 8 (ke 9. Damn you short term memory -_-). Kami semua bekerjasama membuat keretapi dan memunggah beg yang berkilo kilo dan berdozen dozen itu (a little bit exaggeration). Anyway, nobody curi tulang so great job on the bags people! =).So we arrived there early and have to wait before we can check in, so we hang around on the beach (by the way, we’ve stayed at Malibest, along Chenang Beach). So white and sandy and oh so blue-ish green ocean. And no litter. Oh, love love it. It’s a free activity day, so we just hang out, getting some tan under the coconut tree (lol), main galah panjang, belalang belatuk while observing people (plus analyzing).
We went for dinner where it had great soup (similar to nenek’s) and played ‘Are You Smarter than Fifth to Tenth Grader’ Game. Great day. Tiring Day. Off to sleep we were.

Second Day

It’s Jalan-jalan Day. We went to Makam Mahsuri (Oh, it’s upgraded from last time), Cable Car Ride (OMG, I have faced my fear of height and it was all worth it when I was at the top, watching the gorgeous view of Langkawi Island), Kraftangan gallery (not really my thing but I’m sure the Aunties and others enjoyed the batik) and last but not least the hunt for chocolates (Wuhuuu!). We had dinner at this restaurant (Wendy kot) and had Guess Who game, where we had to guess who we were andddd the Karaoke Competition. Surprisingly I’ve got second! Wahahaha. So happy :p.

Third Day

It was A-MOKA race (MOKA is the family acronym from Atuk and Nenek names) day. Some glitches occurred but glad it went okay. Then it’s sand sculpture competition. In the evening we’ve played beach soccer and mandi laut and after that, the most anticipated event of the trip: Retro Night. Oh, how everyone dressed up and how people stared at us as we were from another world (it’s 60’s 70’s 80’s night peeps). The performances from families and group were entertaining. Much better than Pangkor Trip (all family trips were fun anyway ;p). Great night to end our journey. Anyway, Yellow team won everything. So, congrats to them and may they give chance to others next time. (I can’t stand the ‘Give me Y, Give me E, Give me L,L again, Give me O, Give me W- YELLOW’ chant. Seriously. Hahaha). Hang out by the beach for a while then off to bed (Too tired).

Fourth day

Bye Bye Langkawi. It’s been great. It’s been Super Fun. Although it might not be as smooth as we planned it to be, they were all minor glitches. Thanks everyone and hopefully we have more of this in the future! I LOVE MOKA!

P/S: People, please save the pics and video performances in a CD and give it to me okay. Terima Kasih.

Final part (Memoir)

2008-12-09T00:05:00.000-08:00

Ok. Pictures do speak thousand words (with helps of additional words below :p).

Okay. I still haven’t finished my memoir. So here goes my final part of memoir.

Dedication to housemates (whether they read this or not):

IT peeps : You guys were cool although we didn’t hang out much (sebab ade 1 kereta saje. Wuu)

Ita: Although you were no longer a housemate during final year, but it's been fun knowing you. Stay friendly and take care.

Siti: Baru kenal for 1 year but you’ve been a great story teller and housemate to talk to (especially during exam week). Keep on being rajin and cun and pandai menyanyi. Hehe.

Muni: New housemate but 5 years coursemate. Jaga diri elok-elok and drive carefully =).

Sheila: We’ve known each other since Form 1. But being in UTP and being housemates were great. Rumah dekat je, anytime do meet up. And good luck with your Master! =)

Chaong: Oh, we used to be such good friends. What happened to that? Hehe. It's been joyful knowing adventurous you and I wish u all the happiness Ong.

Nadia: Baru dapat add ym and gtalk at the end :p. Awak memang cute and best. Semoga dapat pegi UK! =). Take care and keep in touch (dekat je K.Pilah and Seremban).

Naimah: Jangan banyak skandal. Hehe. Update on anything (on walk in interviews juga. Ahaha)

Mira: Owh Rakan Tengok Bola. I’ll miss every bola session at Ameeth (from it was just the two of us kan) and your thoughts and wisdom (Ini orang luas pengetahuan). Keep in touch too!

Hanisah: Oh, we went a long way back. Thanks for being one of my earliest friends. I’ll miss your hip and happening attitude (plus mak tiri behavior) and everything we’ve done together. Hanisah memang best! (and jangan lupe inform me on ehem ehem :p).

Maria: You’ve been a great friend to me especially this final year. We had our ups and downs and I hope you will always be my friend. Stay true and strong ok. You know I love you.

Aimi: Oh roommate. You annoy me, you talk so loud, you blab la bla. However, you’re the bestest friend one can find. You were there for me always (most of times la. When not dating. Haha). Datang KL jangan lupa inform ok. Or not it’s over. Hehe. I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHH (Ok, too much PDA).

Additional people:

Meena: Meena, I’m so gonna miss you happening, funny self. Stay the same ok Meena (ok, boleh improve on the too soon too gabra behavior :p). Roger me ok!

Syamer: Oh coach. Oh kawan tengok bola. Although you annoy me sometimes, you’ve been great. Kahwin jangan lupa ajak mer.

Fareez: Although I’ve written about you before this, but what the heck, here’s a dedication. Thanks a lot for being a good friend, listener, crappier and adviser. You are different. Frank but true. Sayang kamu juga (Oh, this is first time I ever write this to a guy friend. Better appreciate it =)).

Anyway, I love you people (from all my memoirs). I may not say it in real life but I do. Thanks for making my life in UTP the one of the best times of my life.XOXO!

Memoir ( Part 2, 3, 4)

2008-11-26T00:42:00.000-08:00

Yes. I am quite lazy to write each part. So here goes my second (third, fourth) part memoir on my friends here in UTP (warning: longest post)

“What do you have against Mawi? Rezeki dia, tak payahla nak kutuk teruk-teruk. Macam die pernah sakitkah hati kau je.” Ok, that was an ultimate emotional debate between me and Abang S. To think I ever defended Mawi was another funny, amusing story even to myself, but debates with a well known, superbly talented debater were another thing. But despite all the arguments, Abang S impressed me. A lot. Boleh katakan macam role model jugakla (Sila jangan kembang setaman wahai Abang S :p). A metrosexual guy (he owns clothes much more expensive than mine.Sob sob), debater, achiever; one could definitely envy him. Cuma kaki gosip dan kutuk orang tu another side of him. Keke. Anyways, he introduced us to Kucing Grey, a guy with a history with someone and present and future with another someone (ehem ehem :p), who always lepak in UTP and we’ve become friends till now. He’s as great as me because we are the Red Devil’s fans =).

So, I’ve spent the next few semesters in Village 2, where I was roommate-less for one semester, or two (My short term memory is terrible). One of the memories I’ve had there was my friends did a banner ‘Happy Birthday Zainur’ with signs all over them, and they hanged it outside my room. Oh, so sweet. And by the way, that room was used to ‘usha’ orang and play with this duck of mine, where it has squeaky annoying sound when pinched. And they love doing that until someone looked back at my room. How clever. And wicked. Lol. Anyway, I was starting to be closer to Amy and Peyton as they were all I had at the time (Gila sedih. Hehe). And, by the end of semester berapa entah, I was introduced to some new friends, their coursemates: Mary, Mimi, Nad and Ita. Yeah, new friends. But when we became housemates then we’ve got closer.

My close girl friends were mostly from Chemical Engineering. Not to say I don’t have any from my course, I’ve had my share of memories with my coursemates. My bff was one of them. Lol. So, it’s like 80++ guys and 30 girls. We have a lot more girls than our seniors. My first impression: the guys were so immature. They would make loud noises during classes, acted so phonily or bajet in other word. But, despite all that, we’ve managed to have Mechanical Engineering Club (Meche) to ourselves for two terms. And it was great. We’ve been to trips and conducted events. Those trips where we would cerita hantu and played teka teki (Oh yea, one funny teka teki from my bff: Bandar apa paling banyak. Answer: Seremban. Sebab dia ada tiga. Oh so ‘funny’). He was naturally a ‘funny’ person. His definition of funny was teasing people. Anyway, you could see some hate memoirs dedicated to him. It’s a love hate relationship actually (love for a friend of course). On the good side, I could really talk to him. On stuffs. He made my days when his jokes were funny (in real). And he’s very frank. I like that when my friends are not hypocrite. However, when being too frank, it gets annoying. Oh, and we’re stuck in everything together. Labs, group works, clubs, even managed our batch dinner together. Yes, I can rely on him when it comes to work. Because I’m too used to him. I’ll always consider him as my bff (heh) although we could spend one semester not talking to each other. He’s getting married next year (insyaallah) and I wish him all the happiness in the world.

Besides him, I was close to Man (he used to be my pendengar masalah or vice versa. Maybe not too often now. But thanks for being the cool friend =)). And Jebby (ex roommate of bff and current roommate of Man). I wasn’t close to him then but as final year is approaching, Jebby la peneman bersuka ria, duka, prob, karok, pembekal south park etc. And dia tak habis paper lagi (together with Man). Good luck! =). I was close with the girls, especially Buntal, Cilla and Chaong. Chaong was my temporary bff during early days, Buntal during intern and final year and Cilla is my housemate. Anyway, I will miss Meche and everything we did together. It was the most laid back bunch of lads (Not the girls. They were rajin. Mungkin sebab itu saya malas).

Oh yeah, before I get into the final part of my memoir, I forgot to tell on another bunch of cool lads. Okay, honestly, the term budak kelantan used to annoy me. Because I was one of the skeptical people who were judgmental. I’ve got to know these guys called Freestylers (name of their football affiliation) through Mary towards the end of semester before we went for internship. It turned out they were not all from Kelantan. And they were one of the coolest people around. I mean guys who didn’t mind practicing with bunch of amateur women in football. They’ve helped Smackthat (name of our futsal team) won first runner up in UTP league by being unselfish and helpful. And they were awesome. Really. That opens up my mind and eyes that I shouldn’t be too judgemental. One of the Freestylers that I’ve become close friends with is Zeeraf (giraffe?haha :p). He’s this urban, altruistic bla2, all in all, interesting and worth to be friends with. Can really open up your mind to new things and concepts, also new vocabs. Lol. Anyways, if any of you Freestylers is reading this, kamu memang budak kelantan + kedah + KL + Selangor + Serata Malaysia yang best!

Next part: Final chapter. =)

P/s: I’m scared I left out any names. Anyway, semua budak UTP batch Jan04 rox. We might be lame to people, but we’ve managed to survive these five years without jadi ulat buku semata-mata. Thumbs up to us! Wuhuu!

OH.FILEM MELAYU.OH.

2008-11-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

Okay. I need to write this. I need to get the frustration OUT and LOUD.

SELAMAT PAGI CINTA Sucks! Big time! (Exception to people who are easily touched by people dying / miseries / cinta tak kesampaian).

Ok. Relieved. Anyway, I always say these words after watching Malay movies but I never actually give up on them. Maybe I should. I have very high hope (and patience too) that I can get satisfaction from watching my country made movies. I am patriotic (mungkin sedikit stupid). History teaches me to be that way. Family and culture too. Those are the things that keep me being an overly optimistic citizen. With sucky politic condition in Malaysia, the film industry doesn’t help in lifting my patriotism to the highest level. It’s a love hate relationship but the LOVE is too strong it blinds all the hatred part of the relationship.

Ini sudah beralih topik. Jadi, kesimpulannya adalah saya sangat berdoa setiap kali trailer filem melayu keluar sebelum filem Melayu yang saya akan / selalunya dikecewakan akan membuat saya tersenyum selepas menontonnya. Because if we don’t, who will? So dear directors and producers and actors and actress, also politicians, please think outside the box to please your audiences and rakyat. That’s all for today’s review and thoughts.

Oh, yea, for Madagascar 2, it’s Made In Hollywood but it made me laugh (on the jokes. Not the stupidity). And it’s a cartoon. So, highly recommended for animal lovers. Especially wicked penguin and dancing tigers. Oh and love story between two different animals. Better than the story mentioned above. Because at least they’re animals. What do you expect from them right?. I want to shake it shake it :p.

Memoir (Part 1)

2008-11-20T10:37:00.001-08:00

The sky was blue, grass was green..(Ok, cut it, I think I’m going to write this not too skema hopefully).

Time: Nearly 5 years ago.
Place: Somewhere in Toronto.

I’ve stepped inside a room in my new university (my first ever university). I had mixed feelings of nervousness and annoyance. I was annoyed that my post SPM break was shortened immensely by one offer letter arriving at my house couple of weeks ago. I even forgotten I ever applied for this place. So, stated there, Mechanical Engineering Programme. 5 years. I refused to go at first. Same feelings when I’ve got the offer letter to my boarding school 2 years ago. Feeling of dreadful future ahead. But then, after so many advises (or bebelan) I’ve received on future and all its importance, I gave up. Maybe university life would be much cooler than boarding school (my boarding school experience did turn out great in the end). So there I was. Starting my new life.

………………………………………… (Jumping the orientation week and such)

My old friends were there! Even my ex roommates, Jenny and Moony were there. What a relief! I’ve met new friends, most of them were from the same school. So our friends were from two schools. My school and their school. Anyway, from my observation, my batch intake was mostly from boarding schools, so explained the clique of schoolmates. Me and my friends used to make fun of those so-called elites ex school students. How phony they were. Guess we were immature then. So, starts a new friendship. There were quite a number of US: There’s Peyton, Amy, and Rogayah from the Island School; me, Jenny, Moony, Naddy, Muah and Aza from the Ulu Land School (It was deserted. Same goes to my new college / university). Additional member: Abang S from Island School. He was our Big Bro.

We went out everyday to dinner together, because there was no internet or dc++ then to prevent us from being socially incompetent. We’ve spent our days gossiping, going out, going to class together (I went to class particularly with Rogayah and Aza as they were my coursemates). Living in the Old Village was so much fun. And very memorable. It’s like a small community who knows each other and it was lively, especially around the seniors’ blocks, which we’ve nicknamed Hutan Sepilok, due to excessive noise resembling monkeys every time there were girls walked through their blocks. They even had radio broadcasting! (Which I’ve found creepy but amusing). Walking through the blocks was a daily obstacle every time we were going to class. Not only the seniors, but our male batch mates, where one of their blocks was opposite of us, were also creepy. Right on the opposite of my room, there was this room, who looked very suspicious because there would always be lots of guys inside (and most of them were half naked. Ergh),whom would always look at our blocks with something like a telescope. Later I’ve found out there was indeed telescope in their room. How perverted.

We’ve had our good times, like Amy birthday where we’ve had a kononnya wine splash (something like in Hollywood) moment, but with sparkling water. That was fun. Hehe. And going to Ipoh by bus. Oh, sangat tabah rasanya masa-masa mudaku. Also some bad times. One time, Rogayah was harassed by this senior who wanted to hit on her in very persuasive, scary way. I was sorry I did act like ditching her at some point. (Note to Rogayah: Sorry! I was always clueless / lampi. Still is anyway. Duh). Anyways, my friends were hot. Lots of seniors were hitting on them during the first semester but none ever succeed. They’ve ended up swept by batch mates (Was. Heh). One more thing that I’ve remembered was during rainy days, we would lepak at Jenny room, masak Maggi Goreng Indo Mee with Hot Chocolate. While gossiping and talking. Gosh, I miss that.

We’ve talked about so many things too, especially when SPM results were drawing nearer. Everyone seems to want go further their studies overseas. It scared me that everyone would go away and I’ll be left here all alone. Little I know, I was right. Most of them left after first semester. Rogayah, Naddy, Muah, even Jenny and Moony. How University of Toronto seems like the gloomiest place during my second semester. I was stressed out and felt the next 4 and a half years would be miserable. I had no roommate (Rogayah was supposed to be my roommate, with disco ball lamp and everything. Sob Sob) and the usual large gang was extremely reduced to four of us: Me, Peyton, Amy and Aza. Which during my first semester, only Peyton was the only one who always hangs out with us, and I was not too close to her then. There I was: lonely and miserable….but not for long.

Dedication:
Girls, although we’ve only spent 6 months together ( I wasn’t even close to some of you at former Ulu Land School), it was one of the best moments I’ve had in UTP. And it’s really great we still keep in touch regularly and meet up every time you guys came back. I heart you guys. XOXO!

P/s: Real name and place are confidential. Saje je. Hehe.
P/s/s: I’ve remembered my theme song was invisible. Deng.

Dari Kecewa ke Gembira =)~

2008-11-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

Oh.Free kick Ronaldo menjadi kali ini.

Penguinnssss.....~
Earlier this week was shitty due to these factors:

1) MU lost to Arsenal (SUPER PISSED OFF)
2) Internet was super suck, no google talk, ym, blogging etc2 (SUPER PISSED OFF)
3) The beginning of exam week (Oh, I hate exams)
4) Certain Someone FORGOT an important date (I felt neglected, un appreciated =( )

Then......Now. This Moment. I have an 180 degree of change of heart. Saya Happy. Saya sangat happy. Kerana MU menang 5 - 0 ke atas Stoke City and Arsenal lost 2 - 0 to Villa. Wuhuuu..Anyway, let me list down the good things came with this extremely happy news:

1) 3 papers were over. I have only 1 paper left. Can't wait!
2) Internet is fine now. I mean, better than before. Yang lambat macam moyang kepada kura2 (quote rumate. lol)
3 )I think people do forget. And they ask for forgiveness. So all is well =).

Alhamdulillah =). Anyway, the memoirs on the friends (how assholes, geishas, bullies, caring, sweet etc) are coming. Stay tune!

Saya mahu tengok Madagascar.Mahu. Mahu. I wanna move it move it...

Ameeth yang akan dirindui~

2008-11-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

I can’t sleep. Just got back from lepak2 bersama Altruistic Guy, his BFF and Mary di mapley kegemaran saya. And, the anne knew my name once again! (Now I think all points on observation of Mapley by MM are very true. Heh).

I will miss mapley. This particular mapley held so many memories while I’m in Tronoh terchenta. Let’s reminisce on this mapley now I am leaving it for good. (Dah start terharu dah ni).

It goes by the name of Ameeth (bukan Sithick or Salam or Salim etc2). Saya mula menceburkan diri dalam bidang melepak di mapley sejak first year kot (foundation tak berkawan dengan orang ade kereta. Dan juga merasakan mapley tak berapa cool). So, there starts a beautiful relationship (seriously I can’t really recall bad times there. Oh maybe when MU lost their games. Especially against Arsenal. Football related je kot).

Countless outings had been recorded ever since. The frequency of these outings resulted in the anne knew my name and that implied the status of regular customer in their book. Cuma I always tukar2 menu, so they didn’t knew my routine food la (ok, exception of Maggi Goreng Takde Sayur Pedas 1! Terbaik di Perak, Malaysia dan dunia. Serius, tak tipu :p).

Ameeth recorded the best times of Manchester United victories (Double last semester was the best), the best times of friendships and eventually, one of the best times of my life in Tronoh. Kami lepak, emo tengok bola, berdiskusi, even brought notes there like it was a second home to me. Indeed, it was. At least to me. Cuma untuk mengimpikan toilet yang bersih itu seperti menunggu kucing bertanduklah.

Ok, there goes my special post to Ameeth. I will remember Sirajudin, Anuar (ini orang tipu sama saya dan sudah balik India =( ), the anne who buat air selalu senyum, basically all the anne la. To the best Mapley in Malaysia, Ameeth rocks the socks off my world! Thanks! Weeheee =).

P/s : Macamla anne2 ni ade blog nak bace. But with the rapid progress of Mapley in Malaysia, we’ll never know :p

Bola itu bulat. Jadi senangla nak masukkan ke dalam kotak itu.

2008-11-05T14:33:00.000-08:00

Penyelamat hari ini, The Welsh Wizard bersama definitely bukan penyelamat hari ini-_-

Oh Berbatov dan Tevez, kamu itu strikers. Boleh tak tolong jaringkan gol? Depan gol pun tak dapat jaringkan, nak kene baling dengan tong sampah ke? Because that’s where you guys belonged to for the moment.

Ini adalah penulisan baru balik dari match MU – Celtic yang terlalu menghiburkan kerana dapat melihat pemain – pemain kelab terbaik dunia kegemaran saya bermain dengan penuh hebat. 23 shots. One goal (thanks Giggsy). Ok, saya tipu. Menjengkelkan sebenarnya. Lately, there’s been too many wasted chances. Oh Sir Alex Ferguson yang memakai bunga merah, silalah nasihatkan mereka – mereka supaya bukan sahaja dapat menjaringkan gol, malah tidak memalukan diri sendiri dan membuatkan semua orang memanggil mereka hasel / sayur / sampah. Oh, this applies to the BEST player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo itu juga.

Yang menggembirakan saya adalah kehadiran Rafael yang comel berserta rambut maggi nya. Oh, dan Chelsea kalah. Dan Arsenal seri juga.

Oh, tolong jangan bermain begini semasa melawan Arsenal. Then saya akan seriously super pissed off. Ni pre pissed off je. Lol.

Glory2.

Oh. Mahu Itu Ini. Bagaimanakah?

2008-11-03T23:47:00.000-08:00

Mahu pergi...wuuu~

Suddenly I feel like I am fashion incompetent. Or maybe it has to do with confidence issue. Beautiful people are confident. Check this girl out. She is gorgeous so she’s not afraid of being very fashionable. Are only beautiful people can wear extra ordinary clothes? Oh, I long to break off the fashion dullness and try something different. Main problem: confident issue. I'm trying to appear confident but insecurities keep pulling me back from taking risks. Well, money is the other vital aspect. I am capable of being a shopaholic (saye sangat suke tengok orang bergaya dan mungkin cuba jadi bergaya juga) but I have to decide whether I want to wear expensive clothes or save them for travelling, because travelling is my other passion too. I have a map, a world geography book, list of places to go; the only thing left is enough money to materialize that dream. It all comes back to the green, blue, greenish blue notes. Sigh.

I want to ask something. But if I ask how to generate money, I think itu soalan bodoh. Money doesn’t come easily unless you work hard or you marry some rich guy. Jadi, soalan saye adalah: How to be fashionable and travelling to your dream places without burning your pocket? I know there are ways of cheap travelling (one of my fav channel is Travel and Living channel. I love Globe Trekker and Passport to Europe) but I want to hear from people with experiences on this. How to find chic, vintage clothes and how to travel with budget and have great times? Because I will be free for few months (hopefully) soon and I want to travel, find great clothes, do something rather than duduk rumah tengok tv and wishing I am somewhere in Europe, being a fashionista I’m not because what a loser I would feel. At least one oversea trip..Oh, pleaseee God help me grant that wish.

Envy dengan kawan-kawan with trip here and there but I can’t wait to hear all about their journey. Must be exciting! Jadi kawan2, mari kite pergi travel ramai2 so kite tak jeles dengan mereka! =)

It's not so crappy today. Alhamdulillah~

2008-11-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

Fly.Terbang.....~

First.
Thanks to friends who have cared whether I’m hurt or not. That means a lot to me.

Second.
Optimism doesn’t sucks today. I will stay by my principle and try to be as optimistic as I can.

Third.
The reason for second was I’ve just finished watching “The Freedom Writers” and it struck me right in my brain (both right and left) that my problems were too little to be frustrated for too long. And it marks my heart that I should do more goods to the world.

Fourth.
You should watch the movie if you feel you’re in a deep hole of darkness where you feel there’s no light (FYP? Final exams? Those are killing you? Oh. Grow up. Note to self). Plus, do watch if you are at least a little bit optimistic because pessimists are shadows covering the light.

Fifth.
It’s the last month of my university years. I should be happy. Do happy things. Cherish the idea of finally graduating (I should watch High School Musical perhaps. lol). Do crazy youthful things. Emancipation of self.

It all comes down to be positive. Yes, I’m expressive and my empathy is so strong sometimes it can stress me out. But, as Erin Gruwell said in the film, “I want my life to make sense to me”, that was exactly what I’m searching for. Let's hope for the best.

Phony friend? Should you stay or not?

2008-10-31T12:41:00.000-07:00

I feel shitty now.
I am super upset.

Have you ever be in this situation: doing your best to control your temper for 5 freaking years; cried, screamed, even swore you will never talk to someone who treats you so bad but ended up forgiving and stay friends, no, best friends with that person? Am I a moron or an angel wannabe who think everyone can change? Optimism sucks big time now. Someone please tell me that.

I guess I left the forgetting part. I don’t forget. Maybe that’s why the anger keeps on resurfacing. One of the main reasons I’ve stayed friend with this A-list a-hole because I think by being able to be patient with his super immature actions and words will enable me to face anything life can throw at me. Every time I’ve cried, I’ve reminded myself that it was nothing. There are worse things out there. It can help me being tougher. True, I did improve in the sensitivity part, but sometimes, I feel when I act cool with all the crappy shitty stuff, people say I am bullied. You know how insulted I am? I bear with all the burden of being someone who tries so phonily to be the ‘nice’ girl when I’ve ended up labelled bullied? Shit, I should have known better. Degrading my dignity makes me suffer.

The worst part of this so-called friendship is I have always cared for him. I always pray he will treat me better. To not ever hurt my feelings again. Don’t get me wrong, I always think of him as my guy best friend. And to so many people amusement (even myself at this point), I’ve sticked with him through all these years. Maybe friendship needs to end at some point. When you no longer feel you are respected. I know respect has to be earned but I think I’ve worked too much for too long for something near to impossible. I am tired.

Oh, hati, tolongla jangan terluka lagi.
Sakit itu Tuhan saja yang tahu.
Orang lain takkan tahu.
Orang lain takkan faham.

Just to share something I’ve found on the net:

How can a friendship goes rotten?

A. By making heart breaking jokes to each other.
B. By betraying the trust of forever watching each other backs.
C. By laughing when friends are crying.
D. By claiming a friend when in need and dumping one when in greed.
E. All the above

These are the series of questions that we have to ask ourselves when we want to decide on turning dishonest and making a friendship rotten! Honesty is the best policy. When you stop being truthful to your friends on your feelings and keep gathering the silent anger, that is when you’re being dishonest in your friendship. When you stop caring on what your friends is feeling, that is a dishonest. When you overly expecting your friends to give the respect that you deserve, that is a dishonest. When we neglect to give the respect to the deserved friends, that is also a dishonest. Dishonesty is what rotting his friendship. If only we all could be more honest on our feelings, be frank when we’re hurt, stop on being selfish and help each other more.

Oh, please comment people. Thank you.

Hampir Habis.

2008-10-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

Halfway.Halfway. Eh, ¼ way. ¼ way…

Sekejap lagi..In about a month time I’ll finally be freed from my tertiary education. I’ll fly out there to the real world with a smile on my face. Smile of a liberation survivor. That sounds super duper phony. LOL.

I suddenly feel like it’s a jungle out there. I feel like Monk who scares of so many things. Stop thinking too much Zainur Azwin. Have a little faith in fate and hard works. Life’s too short to think of so many consequences of simple / medium / complicated actions.

Orang tak pernah kisah kalau mereka ada semua.
Malangnya tidak semua orang bernasib baik.
Jadi hampir semua orang kisah.
Dunia dan kebendaan itu sinonim.
Tetapi mereka lupa.
Akhirat dan amal juga sinonim.
Oh. Senang lupa.
Terjaga….Harus Sedar.

Yep, it’s wengness mood strikes back. I think I will behave like this for quite a while because of the excessive Coke + works + stress + excitement to end these 5 years journey.

By the end of the month I will summarize what I’ve been through and what I’ve learnt throughout these years. Like a conclusion to my final report. No recommendation though. Lol. I’m sure my previous posts said a thing or two about my life for now, but hey, it’s my blog, so suke hati la kan? Hehe. So I’m done for now. As Fareez current favorite word says, KISS (Keep It Suka Suki (Ok saye tipu. Lain sebenarnye). I’ll let him write his. Harus! =)

Plant something better than anggur.duh.

2008-10-24T17:31:00.000-07:00

Gosh. I never felt so relieved yet so tense. It’s a relief that I went through these hectic past two weeks without MAJOR damage to my mental being (that’s been said, I think Red Bull, Nescafe and Coke helps. So much for the health conscious wannabe).

Yes. Interviews. Who likes them? Apparently I did enjoy one of my interviews this week. They’ve had Career Placement Week for bakal penanam anggur like me. The one particular interview that I like was with Baker Hughes and I’m sure most people do. No pressure, no scary looking interviewers, it’s just a fun chat. Fun but at the same time we had to impress them. I adore people who could sell themselves without appear to be conceited (I don’t know if I am one) because people who are confident can be misjudged as cocky. Or they are even conceited because they want to be superior to others, so they can win this interview competition. Yes, interviews are competition and some people just love to win them ALL. Even though they have won the biggest prize, they still want to win others too. Just to prove they can. And I think that is the phoniest, crappiest and selfish-est thing one can do. Especially in today’s ever changing and ever competitive world.

I’m up for challenges but I am not the optimistic of them all. I just pray that my best can achieve something someday. If it’s not now maybe it’s sooner or later. Now I’m contradicting my statement of not being optimistic because now I think I do (ok, wengness mood strikes). Anyway, I hope I land a job I love. They say aim for the star, for if you fail, you can always reach the cloud. Then you won’t be too disappointed when your aim is not reached. Very semi opmitistic.LOL.I want to be a multi millionaire, so if I can’t reach that goal, at least I can marry one (now what am I merapiking about. Haha).

Anyway, the tense resurfaces because next week will be another hectic week. This is worse because it involves books, pen, paper, calculator and another mind cramping sessions. Maybe I’ll seek help from the suggested air from my previous post (lemon tea, tea, sting (where can I find this ginseng strawberry flavour yucky / yummy air?) and not forgotten tequila / vodka (if only it’s not haram. LOL)). Good luck left brain and right brain. Stay sane! ~:>

Crazy.Gile.Fuzzy.

2008-10-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Oh, meow, I noe how u feel -_-~

GILE.GILE.GILE. Die ingat satu subjek je saye amek this semester? Die ingat I will dedicate my whole LAST Semester doing his ‘wonderful’ assignments??? And quizzes??

Crappy crab. And I thought I can lepak2 towards the end of the semester. Life should be easier towards the end. It should!!!!

Saye rase saye weng. Dan sedikit tertekan. Saye mahu minum Coke. Tetapi Coke membahayakan kesihatan. Jadi, saye beralih ke Red Bull. Ade orang kate Red Bull pun tak elok minum byk2. Jadi, who wins this battle? Red Bull, Coke or ……? Give me one good air yang memberikan tenaga dan menghilangkan tekanan (perlu sedap seperti Coke or Red Bull. Don’t suggest me Pepsi atau Livita. They appear to be sama x serupa). Oh, and they have to tidak berapa membahayakan kesihatan, kerana saye mahu minum berdozen2. Terime kasih.

P/s: Notice the campuran bahasa? I’m going manglish at times (when I'm in wengness mood).

I’ve drank Red Bull last night. And I am drinking Coke now…..duh.

Win.Lose.Yin.Yang.Keseimbangan itu Penting~

2008-10-19T01:36:00.000-07:00

When you fail, what do you feel? Sad? Angry? Pasrah? Happy? (surely not the latter right).

People will always say, there’s next time, and there will always be quotes to motivate you but a failure is still a failure, no matter how close it was to success. And failure takes time to heal. To absorb to our pessimistic brain (yes, optimism is hard right after failure occurs) that this was a good experience. It can teach us to be better. To stand up and walk on with pride. To not say ‘F***, bull**** or other profanities but still manage a smile instead of tears.

As much as I want to be a strong-willed girl, I am super sensitive to the core (my closest companions can testify to that). Thus, when I fail, I am sad, I am angry because I thought I have given my best. And my best deserved a success. Be it in a competition, in relationship, in friendship, we win some and lose some, says Jason Mraz. So I will surround myself with people that won’t put me down. Which I think I’m blessed with. Tujuan post kali ini memang untuk meluahkan kesedihan, hati duka dan lara yang melibatkan terlalu banyak perkataan ‘kalau’ di dalam minda yang memang semulajadi serabut ini. And because I’ve lost in the UN GAID Global Youth Forum by Astro. It was for a UN conference in Armenia end of this month. And there goes my first chance of being heard by the world. Because I do care about this one world. As sceptical people might be to that confession.

But, I have my win in the end. Because God has given me 22 years to live in this world. A chance I am truly thankful for. Means I can keep on failing and succeeding as long as I don’t lose that passion and self dignity =).

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you then you win.
-Mahatma Gandhi-

Updated

Thanks to my friends for making life in UTP bearable. And Dede has just shocked me last night because he actually can be SWEET to me for real for once. Ahaha. And my roommate whom I know is sweet because of my huge influence on her (die akan cakap the same thing. She’s like female version of Dede but much less meaner and sweeter. Maybe that’s the reason they are both my BFF =) ). And Payeh, I won’t do any double dare. Kire draw la now. And I dare you to tell me your blog’s name! (Eh, senang sangat. Nanti tukar..Haha).

Last but not least, MU won 4-0 last night. It’s a great birthday present to me! Yabedabedu. Eh, besides my beloved boyfriend called from across the sea. I miss him.
=(.

I miss him like Garfield misses his lasagna.

Hope.Dream.Reality.

2008-10-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever feel you can do/ achieve something great?
That your dream is finally having a shot of coming true?
Well…this is a mixture of feelings.
I don’t want to have high hopes. But I don’t to want to screw it up or not trying my best at all.
I am in my journey of achieving that dream.
I hope everything goes well. Amin.
Most important thing is the lesson learnt.
Which I will definitely treasure my whole life.
Pray for me people! =)

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"
-Winston Churchill-

Oh Raya Oh~

2008-10-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

Okay. It’s time to update my blog. And I did just that. I revamped the layout and I think it looks less monotonous than before. Heh. Owh, and I will never get track of the visitors because I keep on changing the tracking system, got it from Thaqif’s blog (like my blog matters to others la kan. It is just for own satisfaction :p).

Anyway it’s time for a new post. It’s past my self deadline. If I work in a magazine, I’m fired for sure. Lol. Everyone talks about how festive their Raya is. So again, should I follow the trend? Guess I will. Typical I am. Here goes the chronology of my Raya 2008:

1. The tradition has changed a bit during malam Raya. Usually we would go to ANW, but this year KFC came to our Rasah home. Due to some working cousins belanja- ed us. Thanks Abang and Waffi and Angah Wani and Along Zura! Owh, and Fuad Syukri too. For the first raya as a muslim =).

2. The first raya wasn’t as eventful as before due to absence of few families. But it was still great anyway. The laksa and mee kari were still the bomb. Owh, and there was incident involving a big rat on avenge mission (rat from hell says the victim) who bit the victim, caused some war at early dawn and survive alive and satisfied to scare us off next time (damn you cheeky mouse!).

3. The second raya was so unlike last year due to much lesser people in Keluarga Kawal gathering. And we didn’t buy any cabutan bertuah. Pak cik was so lucky (he won 4 lucky draw and 1 meneka éclairs competition. Early birthday gift :p). Also, Abang and Angah Wani got the EXTRA duit Raya for completing their studies (And they say it’s only for IPTA. Guess they don’t know the hard works us IPTS students had to go through. Sigh)

4. My accumulated duit raya was over 100. I considered that an achievement. Yeay!

5. I finally went and met my Georgian friends after months. The guilt was released (phew)! And I even went beraya to balai polis. Hee..

6. Karaoke and mapley session with the out-of-this-world cousins were great. I’m glad we still could hang out together. They are still as crazy as ever!

7. I’ve watched two movies but not KAMI. I think Mamma Mia was better than Eagle eye because it was more original in term of story line. (I think repeated concept of a movie is lame).

8. I’ve watched a documentary ‘Inside Islam’ in History channel and it’s a good refreshing memories and knowledge to the ignorant me.

9. I think time past by nearly as the same speed as sound (if I say light Einstein would grovel in his grave. Lol) and now I’m back in UTP.

10. I have to do my poster for my FYP. How a boring fact to end the chronology. Anyway, just discovered it is due on 17th October 2008. Why did I come back soo early?? Whyyy????

Sigh again. Anyway, here are some photos commemorate the eventful festival. I will always love Raya (but a tad lesser when I am giving duit raya instead of getting them. It’s a symbolic transition from fun young days to a more serious, mature me. Yeah, right.

Moi Familia

Second Syawal

First Syawal

*Pictures speak thousand words =)

Tag post after Tagged by the Tagging game by the Tagger. LOL.

2008-09-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

This is a bit late from the day Fareez tagged me but now that I’m home and in the mood of writing, here goes the 15 random facts people (apart from the Tafsiran Zainur he made) don’t know about me (if you do, just consider yourself lucky enough to really know me. LOL)

1. I like siku (as in elbow). Don’t ask what I mean by that. It’s weird but true. Haha.

2. I pride myself in being an orang Negeri Sembilan because I personally feel it’s a beautiful culture. That’s why I am very family oriented. And feminist (refer to Tafsiran Zainur).However, I am not proud of being associated with KJ.

3. I wanted to be a historian, archaeologist or journalist. Engineering is never my passion. But I’m learning to appreciate what I have.

4. My best personal achievement to me is not winning Anugerah Kurikulum, or been Vice President of Astronomy club (geeky stuff, I know. Haha) but to have written script for inter class drama competition back at MRSM and we did win for Best Actor (although script played minor role perhaps) because that was the time I felt I was able to write something good.

5. I want to make a change to the world somehow. Although I feel I do it half-heartedly.

6. It’s hard for me to trust people. That’s why I have trouble having best friends I can trust and tell everything to. This is including finding the right boyfriend and trusting him.

7. I love listening to people. I like hearing gossips, stories or problems. It opens up my mind and helps me understand people and life more.

8. I think I am pretty good in English but not excellent. I adore superb vocabulary people can come up with. And I’m terrible with grammar (have been / has been / had been? Who cares? Suck. Haha).

9. I hate being judgemental. And people who are judgemental. But I do judge people from appearances, so I hate myself? Nah, I just refrain myself to judge too soon or retract my judgement once I realize I’m being judgemental. Lot’s of judge words here. LOL.

10. I think too much (I think this is a known fact). I can think about future and beyond at once. Maybe that’s why I’m slow sometimes (counter back Tafsiran Zainur) because my mind keeps wandering around somewhere. Haha.

11. I can cry over and over again when watching Armageddon (especially the part when Bruce Willis was about to blow himself and recalled all the good memories). Deng, that was the saddest movie scene ever.

12. I don't think I have the best bond with my sisters. Especially my youngest sis. I try to figure out how I can improve this relationship. I love them though.

13. I can spend hours reading blogs. Yes, I am addicted to stories (mention in 7). Be it their own life or their own perception of life.

14. I am expressive. If I have something I don’t like, I’ll tell it. And if I’m happy, it’ll be written all over my face. It’s a setback sometimes because silence is better than harsh words / actions.

15. Last fact of the day. I do follow rule. Or maybe trying to. I am ‘skema’ at heart. I don’t see any negativities come off it. So people, do follow some (or all) rules if you can.

Finally done. Again, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin (I don’t see what’s the fuss people are making about the Batin word. All up to your interpretation) to everyone who knows me or read my blog. Datangla beraya ke rumah! =)