GLORIEST =D

CHAMPIONEEE...=D


It was a painful, stressful 2 hours plus plus. I felt like vomiting, my heart hurts…seriously, this is the worst feeling ever I’ve experienced in a match. And, Chelsea fans in front of me didn’t make it better too. Especially when ronaldo missed the penalty (Cech did say he studied Ronnie penalty. Too predictable this time). Although he felt like it was his worst day when he missed it, a complete 180 degree of feeling when VDS saved Anelka penalty and Terry slipped penalty. Although the whole team was the hero, I picked VDS was my personal hero. He’s always been. He wasn’t regarded the best goal keeper (people say Cech is better) but he had many saves that ensure the trophies belonged to MU. And last night he did just that. Anyway, Chelsea was fighting till the last drop of sweat (or tears. I felt sorry for Terry. And Grant. And Abramovich. Not Drogba though. Huhu). I salute their determination and spirit. But, in the end, like Ronnie said, penalty kicks are like lottery. You really needed luck. I just wanted to add, you need a good Keeper too. Owh VDS and MU, Thank You. You’ve made my year a whole lot brighter. It was all worth it. GLORY2 MU. You are the bestest, most entertaining club ever. As the reds go MARCHING ON and ON!

Mama~

One of the days I have troubling sleeping. And refuse to study. My mind is wandering. So I need to write. What a disorder. I thought of writing a memoir for my mother on 13th May because it was her birthday, and in conjunction with mother’s day. It might be a tad too late but I want to tell people what a great woman my mom is. So here goes my late (better than never) memoir.

Dear Mama,

You have been living in this earth for 50 years and the things you have been through never fail to remind me that you are indeed an amazing woman. To summarize everything in my writing will do you injustice. But to write none is simply unacceptable. You are the breadwinner of the house, raising four daughters (who are all different and all flawed with imperfection) quite alone (with the help of arwah Atuk and Nenek. God bless them) through all these years. We were (and still are) stubborn, sometimes too often hurt you in words or actions. How you were patient and taught us with love and advices all these years. You never force us to do anything, but the education you gave us hopefully will reward you with lavish life you are supposed to have. You never complaint about having to raise us by yourself, and always remind us that God is always the One you have to remember in every aspect of your life. Yes, I pray everyday (although I am not a strong follower) that you will be placed in heaven because you have done everything it is to be done for us, as a mother, provider, friend and as a person. I’ve put you on the pedestal not only because ‘syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu’, because you are simply above any definition of a great mother. Yes, people will always say good things about their mothers, but to me, you are not ordinary, you’re simply miraculous. And it’s a miracle I have a mother like you. I am not good in saying things like this in person, but this is how I truly feel. I hope God will give you good health for a long time for me to be able to repay you. This is going to be forever, because that’s how much I’m indebted to you. I’m sorry for all the hurtful things I’ve said or done. Hopefully I can achieve even half of what you have achieved mama. You are simply the best role model a girl can have. I Love You.

Happy day. Again.

Your Personality Is Like Alcohol

You're the life of the party, a total flirt, and probably a pretty big jokester. Sometimes your behavior gets you in trouble, but you still remain socially acceptable. You're a pretty bad driver, and you're dancing could also use a little work! At your best: You are uninhibited, funny, and relaxed. What people like about being around you: You're friendly, welcoming, and easy to talk to. What people dislike about being around you: You're a little sloppy and careless. How addicted people get to you: A fair amount, though they tend to deny it.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Anyway, I got tht from Mira nye blog. I don't noe la it's true or not, but I think people bully me because they are kind-of addicted to me. Positive thinking.Ha-ha. Anyway, MU won the title. That's the main reason of my happiness. Good Luck exam people! (dunno I am ready or not. It seems like a playground for me and I keep on playing the buaian, swinging in my own emotion and world.Duh). Double joy hopefully awaits. Glory2!=D

Diaries.And Memories.

I used to write diaries. Since I was in Form 1. And every time I went back home, I’ll read them back. It’s funny. Hilarious to some extent. Perhaps only to me. Because I am the only person reading them. That’s why they are called diaries. Lol.The window to the deepest darkest secrets. Although my worst deepest darkest secrets don’t involved killing anyone. Hehe. Hence, I often compared them to my writing nowadays. How I was so carefree and so informal. When I was young, I used to be one of the unknowns. Still is anyway. But worse back then. I regarded myself as a very insecure, world-hater girl. I hated the popular crowds at school because they think they were so cool they could look down on people. I guess more or less, every school has the same situation, all over the world. There’s the good looking (even if some of them don’t, but they have something to back them up: joker, athlete, rich. Choose any of the categories) look-at-me type of students and the other crowd: the nerd, weird and unknowns. The last one, that’s me. I was no geek (although I did look like one during my childhood and youth hood), I don’t think I’m weird enough (hip hop, skinny jeans, punk) so there I was: normal and unknown. Although my friends, even best friend was quite popular for different reasons (pretty, boyfriend(s) was popular, brilliant), I was used to being neglected. So I developed a fondness of pen down my thoughts and feelings. Where I can escape the real world when it seems harsh and lonely. I find strength in words, in philosophies, thus reflected in the skema-ish type of writing. I’ve tried writing fiction (as that was one category of writing I got praises from my English teacher at school) but I got writer’s block every time I wrote a fiction. And I’ve cancelled publishing them (on blog of course) because I thought they were so phony. And corny. I wrote a 20 something pages of a fiction and I ended up losing them to recycle bin (for reasons I can’t quite remember). So that was my biggest self accomplishment in writing. I envy those who are so creative in writing because I think I’m not. See, the insecurity and feeling of unknown stuck with me for a very long time. Although I find myself in a better me nowadays. I am more optimistic towards life. And more confident. However, I still love observing people; that’s my all-time favourite past time. Now, when I came across a group of hot guys and girls, I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. “Maybe they were unknowns just like me once upon a time. We grew up to be the better image of our childhood. Life is not that cruel anyway.” And writing in diaries helped a lot. I love you, my diaries, Snoopy! =D

Moscow, Here MU come =)

I am Happy. Very. I haven’t talked about football for quite sometimes because I am not an expert giving comments on the technical aspects of football. But I want to blog about the champs league semi final 2008. It was scary, yet the ending was so sweet I am estatic till now (considering I HAVE to study for my HSE test. Lol). The last 10 minutes seem forever. Messi was great, but he didn’t get much help. And it’s great that Henry was not on starting 11. His header this time didn’t do as well as the last time. Heh. Barca played well, ball possession was theirs. But Scholes’s goal said it all. He didn’t get the chance to play in final 9 years ago, and he made up for those lost years. I think Nani was the least performer of all, but he was like Ronaldo once, so hopefully he’ll get better. The BELIEVE sign from the fans touched my heart. I do believe in MU. Always will. So, who ever MU will face in Moscow, and whatever the result is, they are a winner to me. Hehe. Cliché. I know. Now all the final year stress was greatly relieved for now. I never thought football can affect me this much. Ok, enough said. To all anti MU, we have proven something today. Not to brag, just a pride of being a fan of the bestest football club =). I do hope they stop being harsh to MU. Football is a beautiful game. Joga Bonito. So the support should be anti biased too. Huhu. Glory2 anyway =).

Faith

I cannot sleep. Again. Do I think too much? I have so many questions need answering. Like I have in my mind now: When is ready is ready? When is enough is enough? Like the question: Am I ready to settle down? Not that I’m saying I’m getting married soon, but I want to get married someday. Will I be ready? Do I have the criterias of a good wife? I define good as in the concept of Islam. I’ve just watched the movie Ayat-ayat Cinta, which conveyed so many moral values it struck me how imperfect I am. Ok, I’m comparing myself to those who embraced Islam so beautifully it made me cry.

So, I am doing a lot of thinking (as usual) of the search of my inner peace. I’m far from perfection, but I really want to be a step closer at a time. I sometimes tell myself why do I commit all the sins although I often write about being better? I guess worldly temptation gets to me most of times. I know that action speaks louder than words, but words are better than nothing right? I don’t mind being criticized for only talk and no apparent actions take place, because I admit I am a weak and fragile follower of God. I love my religion, but I’m still lost in taking the right path of this faith. I love reading or watching how beautiful Islam is without being prejudiced to people and I am sad to see radicals who made people fearful of Islam. I’m sure most people have watched the documentary ‘fitna’ made by a Holland politician (can’t remember his name). That documentary enraged me, but not to the point I want to boycott Holland’s products because to me, there are better ways of showing the meaning of real Islam. Islam is not a religion that avenge. Such as the movie I’ve mentioned. It might not be a perfect movie, but the message deeply resides in my mind, stimulate my thinking, hence the post at 4 a.m.

Sometimes, when I wrote about faith and being better, I felt like I have no rights to talk about it. But, I am a muslim, and like one of my friends quote: If a smoker advises you not to smoke; don’t look at the fact he is a smoker, but focus on the word of advises (Something like that. Hehe). So, there goes another entry on faith and the hopes of becoming a better muslim. And the questions of life need answering. Hopefully one day I will truly understand it. Amin.

Gosh. I’m having this biological clock problem every time I am in UTP. Sleep late. Wake up late. Sleep in the evening. And stay up until the eve of dawn. Why does my brain works best during these hours? A mystery of life yet to be revealed. The negative impacts are frightening though. Skipped classes (deng), my skin condition worsen (now I feel like investment in skincare is useless if you don’t obey the universal law of skin care: Drink plenty of water, Exercise and Enough SLEEP. Deng, I haven’t done those, especially the exercise and sleeping part) and the list goes on. It’s funny when at home, even during holiday, I can’t stay up despite the existence of Astro. Maybe because there is a large community in UTP that is having the same problem as mine, thus make it lively at nights.

But anyway, at least I’ve managed to finish my assignments and projects when I’ve stayed up. I think the Hollywood crisis contributed the most to this achievement. No scripwriter = No series to watch = Clueless = Do assignments. Get it? Haha. Although I still think academic activities are the least fun thing to do. Duh. The longer I am in UTP, the more I think of how different I could be. I don’t know if hipocracy is applied (well, I think lots of people are though) but I have different perception and different thinking when I’m in this university. Honestly, people always say UTP is too boring, UTP is lame, UTP blablabla (bad stuff) but I find that the opposite. Sure, I found this place the dullest place on earth once upon a time, but with time, with experiences, with memories the 360 degree change of heart happens. Maybe because of the people. I think I always talk about people in UTP right? Well, they make my life in UTP bearable, even fun. I mean my friends. One day I will write a full review of each of them. A memoir perhaps.

I think I’ve wrote about this topic because I’ve spent the last few weeks with the people who have been with me for years. The event, the dinner, the bbq, the mapley outings, the karoke etc.To talk about all these events would be endless. Just making a point that life in UTP will not be LAME if you know how to UNLAME it. Hehe. Bonjour people =).

"Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead; Do not write them on their tombstones, Speak them rather now instead."