Questions. Think.

“The road is long and narrow. Somehow, I find myself standing on the edge of a cliff. And as usual, my paranoia thinking will generate and says I will fall. The rough wind will throw me all the way down into the darkness. The end of the road. It shaken me and bring me away from the cliff. I’m too young. Too many things to accomplish. I can’t let the wind wins. I’ll steer away from all cliffs, the holes, anything that can end my journey of life. I can do all that, but when He decides to let me come to the next level of being, even the smoothest road can’t save me. I hope by then my paranoia obsession will disappear and I’ll embrace the fact I will be nearer to Him. Amin…”

Those were my feelings every other hour. Or day. The thought of Death frightens me. I guess it frightens most people. Especially those who has sinned. Which most probably ALL. I just realized I haven’t write in the serious mode lately. The seriousness scares me somehow. I try to be light, to talk about my life, what I do, but this kind of writing that really means something to me. That reflects some parts of me. The curious me. The over-thinking, over-analyzed me. The best but complicated version of me. I feel like I can sit for hours just wandering about so many things. And those who know me best know that when I’m doing something, everything else around seems invisible. Until they snap me back to reality. That’s me. Can’t ‘Menyelam sambil minum air’. Heh. Anyway, this is a random mind stimulating post. Because it is generated at 3 am on Friday morning. The head of all days. May we get to live to see more Fridays, and to live to be a better person. Sometimes, we need wake up calls to make us realize we have so many things to be thankful of. And today is one of the days to me =).


“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.” ~Lloyd Alexander

Anger is bad for ur health~

It’s been 2 days since class started. I felt:

1) OLD – Who are these people? Owh, they are juniors. The young ones. Who don’t use mirc and think google talk is the best. Not to forget Myspace too. I am not fond of these generations. Period.
2) CONFUSED – I want to take drilling!!!! Why the ACS makes it so hard to take up a subject and require pre requisites?? The lecturers are fine with my choice. Although it might be hard, but it can help me understand my FYP. Don’t they see how much I love my FYP??? LOL. I am going to take the risk. I’m an old person (in UTP boundaries). And with age comes wisdom. Says the philosopher. Good luck to me!
3) SUPER DUPER EXCITED??? Gosh, I wish I can say that. The previous two feelings combined with the love for my FYP are making my adrenaline pump like crazy. It makes me want to scream. I want to refrain myself from being depressed too soon. Looks like I am.
4) GUILTY. I hate doing things that hurt people. Especially people I love. I hate this thinking too much brain of mine. That generates this post. That puzzles me how selfish I can be to think of my negative moods rather than others’ situations. Especially the more unfortunate people.


That last feeling revamp the whole purpose of writing this post at the first place. I wanted to channel my anger and frustration to the unfair world, and end up to realize there are better things to value rather than your own dissatisfaction of how life turns out to be for you. I’ll try to find the remedies for these feelings I have in due time.

“Don’t try to analyze life. The more you do, the more tangled up life seems to be.”

The debate everyone is talking about~

Amusing. That was my thought when I’ve watched the delayed clip (delayed by one day. I was too lazy to watch the delayed version on TV) of the Anwar-Shabeery debate. I’m not a debater but from the definition in Wiki, debate is a formal method of interactive and position representational argument. And I’ve learnt the basis of a good argument from corporate communication lecturer (this is one of my favourite subjects in UTP). Heh. Argument is a series of statements that is used to persuade someone of something. In an argument, there must be a main conclusion, which is the main claim for the argument and premises, ideas to support and establish the conclusion and the reasons people should agree with the conclusion. In a good argument, the conclusion and the premises must be clear and not vague. Vagueness can occur if there is an uncertainty about standards as basis of comparisons, confusion over statements and imprecise choice of words.

So, from what I’ve learned and what I observed from the debate, both debaters had their vagueness elements in their arguments. But obviously there was someone who really followed the three rules of vagueness. I didn’t really get his main conclusion, he didn’t stress on that factor, he really did confuse us by going back to history and personal attack (completely irrelevant) and don’t get me start on the choice of words. I prefer Karam Singh Walia spoken out there. He had so many ‘peribahasa’ to choose from. Haha. Maybe you know who I was referring to. But it doesn’t mean I support the other debater. Honestly, he did a fair job, considering he was in a position where it was easier said than done. However, I didn’t really think his supporting statements convinced me enough. I need more evidences perhaps.

Anyway, this is just an episode of the political dramas in Malaysia. I’m a nobody to talk about it but these days, even nobody seems to make sense than the selected somebody who supposes to run this country forward instead of down the drain. *Sigh*

Pulau Kapas~

I wanted the pictures from Husmi camera sooo badly. But now I got pics from the girls, I better post this anyway. Before it becomes soo yesterday. Heh.

From my previous post, I was going to Terengganu for my first and only jalan-jalan this holiday and I’ve just came back from that trip. And it was one of the most exciting trips I’ve been to. First, because it was with friends, and second, I’ve spent it outside the hotel room.

There were six of us. Me, Nisah, Nadia, Ajiem, Ainod and Husmi. We have decided to go to Pulau Kapas because Nisah has been to Pulau Perhentian recently. Anyway, it was the right choice because there weren’t so many people due to weekdays and we had the island to ourselves (figurative expression). We took the night bus and I was worried the whole journey because I was being a paranoid of the bus accidents that happened a lot. We’ve made it safe and sound in the end, at early dawn. Nadia flight arrived at around 8 am and we went to Marang jetty with a van. Pulau Kapas located just half an hour from Marang, thus most of us were sceptical of the beauty of the island. However, I did read some of the blogs that told about the crystal clear ocean so I was keeping a positive perception. And thank god it wasn’t ‘Indah khabar dari rupa’. The island was gorgeous. Maybe because I rarely been to a true blue green ocean with white sandy beach. Anyway, first impression had impressed me.





The new Terengganu airport is big, nice but empty. Heh.






The island all to ourself :p


We didn’t make any plans for our activities because it would be easier to just go with the flow. Not wasting our time, we walked along the coastal; following the track consist of many stairs, which I wasn’t so fond of because I always have this stairophobia (phobia of stairs. My friend invented that. Hehe). Anyway, there were many small chalets in Pulau Kapas and I think we’ve stayed in one of the biggest ones, Kapas Island Resort. Very casual, laid back environment. We were told by an abang (which turn out to be very helpful to us later) that jelly fish was coming the next day and it would be dangerous to go snorkelling thus we had to go that evening. He took us to a spot further away from the beach, where the marine park is located. There went my second snorkelling trip (the first one in Pangkor was suck). All I could say was it was the greatest view I ever seen with my eyes. I’ve watched television, read about it in magazines, but the corals and fishes were way beautiful to watch with your own eyes. The abang took me and nisah around the area, and as tiring as I was, it all disappeared looking at nature’s beauty. That really motivates me to go diving one day.




My shoes were wreck because of the rocks and sands..stupid me to bring such shoes. Duh~




Jump frog jump :p




Xleh close up lg ke nod..hehe~

When we were on our way back, there was a storm at our chalet side so we had to wait for a while. It was cold and the boat kept rocking due to the wave. Owh yes, there was Dr Fazley who sang ‘Asmara Ini’ and his crews staying at the same chalet. They were filming a travel show “3 hari 2 malam” on TV 9. I didn’t really care because was not a fan of him. But the guest of the show coming the late that day was one of the reasons why this trip is memorable. After dinner, the abang (I never knew his name. Lol) asked us if we wanted to watch the turtle laid their eggs. I always thought turtle was a bit bigger than tortoise so I wasn’t really enthusiastic (later I found out they were huge, around 1 metre. Deng, then I was disappointed). And it was a fat chance too. So, we walked again through the tracks, with no lights (my handphone light was very helpful) to the site where the turtle always go to. I just found out that turtle came into the beach during rising tide and it was still surut then (I can’t remember the English word for that. Haha). So, we’ve waited while lying down, looking at the many stars and few shooting stars, beautiful sight but I was very tired. The abang and pakcik then told us it would take much longer for the tide to rise, so we made the decision to go back. It was indeed a very fun but tiring day.

Waiting for penyu...Sadly it didn't come -_-~

We were clueless on what to do the next day, but we’ve spent half of our day ‘mandi laut’, kayaking and playing charade. That was the official game for the trip. Heh. Here comes the best part. The guest of the show was one of my celebrity crush (he’s not even a celebrity anyway). It was Dr Faiz, the second angkasawan who didn’t make it to the space but is still admirable because I always love astronomy and space always amazes me. Plus, he’s really cute. Hehe. My friends dared me to take pictures with him a few times before and it was Nisah and Nadia who accompanied me to do that. That was the first time I took pictures with celebrity (kot) and it was cool. They were on their way for scuba diving and I braved myself for asking. Anyway, I did talk to him and Dr Fazley for a bit. That was super cool. To me anyway. Hehe. (Pictures are not yet available because it’s with Husmi. Duh)

It was raining a bit on the noon, and we’ve spent the evening playing cards, charades and talking (or gossiping). Owh yea, the abang msged us to see if we wanted to follow the crew do the scuba diving shooting but someone left his phone behind. Deng, it would be so cool if we’ve got the chance to come. The night was spent eating, trying to get some sotong or fishes by the jetty (I didn’t even try to lift the fishing rail because I was scared of dropping it. Yes, I have so many phobias because I’m a klutz). We ended our night by having the bon fire. The abang again joined us and told us few stories. I ended up sleeping at 6 am chatting with my friends. We had our breakfast, and took pictures (again and again. So many pictures involved. Hehe). And guess what? We took the same boat with Dr Faiz and the crew. So, I took picture with him, again, thanks to Husmi. Hehe. On the boat, the crew was really friendly and I asked when the show would be aired. So peeps, it would be aired on around August, Sunday, 8.30 pm, TV 9. Free promotion. Ahah. Anyways, we went to Pasar Payang for a while and went back around 1. I didn’t have much sleep on the bas and got home after nearly 10 hours of travelling. Tiring but it was really worth it. Thanks guys and girls. We may not meet often but this one trip really meant a lot to me. Hopefully I’ll have more of these in the future! =)

With the cool people and the abang >:)





Tired but when there's camera clicking...;p

long distance~

I have written my travel post but I have no pictures yet, so I’ve decided to write another post. About relationship. Long distance in particular. A very long distance. If my bf is reading this, you know what I am talking about right?:). I did (and do) have a long distance before, and I think despite all the fights, we managed to get through those. Until now that is. I am not the type who has to msg, call or meet all the time. I need my own space and so does he. But sometimes, situations did drive me getting some obsessive compulsive thinking, leads to fights and leads to difficulties in the relationship. What are the recipes of good long distance relationship? Anyone? I’m still new and clueless about this too. Anyhow, these are few tips I got from browsing the net (yeah, ample time to do that). Just to jolt down for future references.

1. Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?"

2. Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection. These don't have to be long, in-depth conversations (though those should occur sometimes). Tell each other about your little triumphs and tragedies. Ask for advice. Use an instant messenger program or VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection, but while instant messaging and e-mails play a large role in long distance relationships, remember that they can in no way replace verbal communication. E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance phone calls put a strain on your budget.(Even though phone calls might get a little too expensive, there are special cards if you are to call each other from different countries, there will be no problems with costs since it is very cheap. We highly recommend you get one of those cards, it will be a lot cheaper and from experience E-mail and instant messages makes it easier to misunderstand each other.) Write love letters. Send small gifts or flowers for no reason. In this case, quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage over others whose partner is close at hand - you don't take communication for granted!

3. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that seemed so rude the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality - something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.

4. Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart. If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it. Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while on you're on the phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to bond.

5. Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good match - or someone else is a better match - your relationship ends, whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.

6. Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

7. Know when to say good-bye. While this is tough in any relationship, this can be especially hard over long distances. When communication becomes one-sided or sparse for too long and for no apparent reason, when arguments (yes, you'll have them) become too frequent, when the whole thing just seems like more trouble than it's worth, it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. Either you'll decide to go your separate ways, or you'll get closer for having overcome another obstacle to your happiness together.

8. Remember things will get better with time, and even the relationship will become better. Have hope.

The last tip is what life is is all about to me. Hope drives the world around. Well, it works if it is followed with efforts. I hope I can do that because my heart is getting attached day by day and I fear of getting it broken. All the best for ‘US’ I hope. Amin =).