Happy New (and blessed) year~

It’s 1 Muharram 1430. What have you done upon reaching the New Year in Islamic calendar? What have I done? Have I been a good Muslim? Have I contributed enough in ensuring my place at the unimaginable beauty of Jannah? (Heaven). I know I am imperfect, you are imperfect, but if we believe in God’s Love and Mercy, instead of saying we’ll change one day, why don’t we do it today? This year. It’s a new chapter and we’ll decide what to write on these pages. Make them colorful, but still abide by His laws. It will definitely make our life more calm, contented and more importantly, blessed by Him.

Ya Allah, Dear Lord, on this blissful Awal Muharram, bless and love my brothers and sisters who are reading this, bless their families with good health and fortunes, strengthen their iman and faith, give them the pleasure of ibadah and keep them away from fitna’ and misfortunes. Plant the Islamic values in them and their families, and put them in YOUR heaven without hisab. Amin.

Note: Happy Gregorian New Year too.

Oh.Future.Please Be Bright.

I think I haven’t write anything meaningful (read: serious) for quite sometimes. Maybe seriousness is not in. Maybe I need to make new resolution on not being serious on blogs. Ok, this sound serious. Lol.

Anyway, 5 freaking years had passed. So where am I now? Answer: Duduk rumah, goyang kaki, jadi belon. Seriously. I used to be such an optimistic person (maybe not verbally, but my inner self is filled with optimism energy) but lately I feel the degree of optimism is slowly declining (faster by the state of where I am: jobless, no job interviews etc2). Ok, I’ve just graduated, I shouldn’t give up too soon but I’m trying to figure out a fallback plan. The what ifs are bothering me every day (while I’m watching Astro while eating chocolates, especially the Travel and Living Channel. They are living their dream lives and I am………….soon to be filled).

What if I’m not hired by the time of my graduation day?
What if the economic recession continues to make it hard for me to be employed?
What if I gain weight and I look like mess on my graduation day?
What if MU doesn’t win any trophy this season (apart for the marvellous first ever world club cup that day)?

(See, I think too much)

Anyway, I’ve thought of furthering my studies, but there are concerns on the courses and the fees (especially oversea). I am setting my mind to do Msc in engineering management (or anything equivalent to that), if I am not employed by March (ok, that’s first resolution). Plus, I think I’m procrastinating. I have filled my to-do list a few months ago and I need catching up to do. (Note: involve something with car and also the traveling part). Okay, now that I write it down, I guess I am normal. A bit abnormal due to excessive thinking that leads to minimal depression but will be easily cheered by anyone who wants to offer job / holiday package / movie tickets / Any activities paid by the other party (LEGAL only). Anyone interested? Heh.

By the way, best ke kerja kat panggung wayang? (Another fallback plan :p).

MOKA Langkawi Trip

I have just got back from my Langkawi Trip. It’s been quite sometimes since I’ve been there, the last time with my late grandfather and grandmother. So it felt like a brand new Langkawi. By the way, it’s a family trip with 40 of us.

We chartered a bus (oh, first time too) as it would be easier (so we thought) which was delayed for some reasons (Abang, we never blame you okay). All right, let me summarize the trip activities.

First Day

Arrived at 6 plus am. Ferry was at 8 (ke 9. Damn you short term memory -_-). Kami semua bekerjasama membuat keretapi dan memunggah beg yang berkilo kilo dan berdozen dozen itu (a little bit exaggeration). Anyway, nobody curi tulang so great job on the bags people! =).So we arrived there early and have to wait before we can check in, so we hang around on the beach (by the way, we’ve stayed at Malibest, along Chenang Beach). So white and sandy and oh so blue-ish green ocean. And no litter. Oh, love love it. It’s a free activity day, so we just hang out, getting some tan under the coconut tree (lol), main galah panjang, belalang belatuk while observing people (plus analyzing).
We went for dinner where it had great soup (similar to nenek’s) and played ‘Are You Smarter than Fifth to Tenth Grader’ Game. Great day. Tiring Day. Off to sleep we were.

Second Day

It’s Jalan-jalan Day. We went to Makam Mahsuri (Oh, it’s upgraded from last time), Cable Car Ride (OMG, I have faced my fear of height and it was all worth it when I was at the top, watching the gorgeous view of Langkawi Island), Kraftangan gallery (not really my thing but I’m sure the Aunties and others enjoyed the batik) and last but not least the hunt for chocolates (Wuhuuu!). We had dinner at this restaurant (Wendy kot) and had Guess Who game, where we had to guess who we were andddd the Karaoke Competition. Surprisingly I’ve got second! Wahahaha. So happy :p.

Third Day

It was A-MOKA race (MOKA is the family acronym from Atuk and Nenek names) day. Some glitches occurred but glad it went okay. Then it’s sand sculpture competition. In the evening we’ve played beach soccer and mandi laut and after that, the most anticipated event of the trip: Retro Night. Oh, how everyone dressed up and how people stared at us as we were from another world (it’s 60’s 70’s 80’s night peeps). The performances from families and group were entertaining. Much better than Pangkor Trip (all family trips were fun anyway ;p). Great night to end our journey. Anyway, Yellow team won everything. So, congrats to them and may they give chance to others next time. (I can’t stand the ‘Give me Y, Give me E, Give me L,L again, Give me O, Give me W- YELLOW’ chant. Seriously. Hahaha). Hang out by the beach for a while then off to bed (Too tired).

Fourth day

Bye Bye Langkawi. It’s been great. It’s been Super Fun. Although it might not be as smooth as we planned it to be, they were all minor glitches. Thanks everyone and hopefully we have more of this in the future! I LOVE MOKA!


P/S: People, please save the pics and video performances in a CD and give it to me okay. Terima Kasih.

Final part (Memoir)

Ok. Pictures do speak thousand words (with helps of additional words below :p).

Okay. I still haven’t finished my memoir. So here goes my final part of memoir.

Dedication to housemates (whether they read this or not):

IT peeps : You guys were cool although we didn’t hang out much (sebab ade 1 kereta saje. Wuu)

Ita: Although you were no longer a housemate during final year, but it's been fun knowing you. Stay friendly and take care.

Siti: Baru kenal for 1 year but you’ve been a great story teller and housemate to talk to (especially during exam week). Keep on being rajin and cun and pandai menyanyi. Hehe.

Muni: New housemate but 5 years coursemate. Jaga diri elok-elok and drive carefully =).

Sheila: We’ve known each other since Form 1. But being in UTP and being housemates were great. Rumah dekat je, anytime do meet up. And good luck with your Master! =)

Chaong: Oh, we used to be such good friends. What happened to that? Hehe. It's been joyful knowing adventurous you and I wish u all the happiness Ong.

Nadia: Baru dapat add ym and gtalk at the end :p. Awak memang cute and best. Semoga dapat pegi UK! =). Take care and keep in touch (dekat je K.Pilah and Seremban).

Naimah: Jangan banyak skandal. Hehe. Update on anything (on walk in interviews juga. Ahaha)

Mira: Owh Rakan Tengok Bola. I’ll miss every bola session at Ameeth (from it was just the two of us kan) and your thoughts and wisdom (Ini orang luas pengetahuan). Keep in touch too!

Hanisah: Oh, we went a long way back. Thanks for being one of my earliest friends. I’ll miss your hip and happening attitude (plus mak tiri behavior) and everything we’ve done together. Hanisah memang best! (and jangan lupe inform me on ehem ehem :p).

Maria: You’ve been a great friend to me especially this final year. We had our ups and downs and I hope you will always be my friend. Stay true and strong ok. You know I love you.

Aimi: Oh roommate. You annoy me, you talk so loud, you blab la bla. However, you’re the bestest friend one can find. You were there for me always (most of times la. When not dating. Haha). Datang KL jangan lupa inform ok. Or not it’s over. Hehe. I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHH (Ok, too much PDA).

Additional people:

Meena: Meena, I’m so gonna miss you happening, funny self. Stay the same ok Meena (ok, boleh improve on the too soon too gabra behavior :p). Roger me ok!

Syamer: Oh coach. Oh kawan tengok bola. Although you annoy me sometimes, you’ve been great. Kahwin jangan lupa ajak mer.

Fareez: Although I’ve written about you before this, but what the heck, here’s a dedication. Thanks a lot for being a good friend, listener, crappier and adviser. You are different. Frank but true. Sayang kamu juga (Oh, this is first time I ever write this to a guy friend. Better appreciate it =)).

Anyway, I love you people (from all my memoirs). I may not say it in real life but I do. Thanks for making my life in UTP the one of the best times of my life.XOXO!

Memoir ( Part 2, 3, 4)

Yes. I am quite lazy to write each part. So here goes my second (third, fourth) part memoir on my friends here in UTP (warning: longest post)


“What do you have against Mawi? Rezeki dia, tak payahla nak kutuk teruk-teruk. Macam die pernah sakitkah hati kau je.” Ok, that was an ultimate emotional debate between me and Abang S. To think I ever defended Mawi was another funny, amusing story even to myself, but debates with a well known, superbly talented debater were another thing. But despite all the arguments, Abang S impressed me. A lot. Boleh katakan macam role model jugakla (Sila jangan kembang setaman wahai Abang S :p). A metrosexual guy (he owns clothes much more expensive than mine.Sob sob), debater, achiever; one could definitely envy him. Cuma kaki gosip dan kutuk orang tu another side of him. Keke. Anyways, he introduced us to Kucing Grey, a guy with a history with someone and present and future with another someone (ehem ehem :p), who always lepak in UTP and we’ve become friends till now. He’s as great as me because we are the Red Devil’s fans =).

So, I’ve spent the next few semesters in Village 2, where I was roommate-less for one semester, or two (My short term memory is terrible). One of the memories I’ve had there was my friends did a banner ‘Happy Birthday Zainur’ with signs all over them, and they hanged it outside my room. Oh, so sweet. And by the way, that room was used to ‘usha’ orang and play with this duck of mine, where it has squeaky annoying sound when pinched. And they love doing that until someone looked back at my room. How clever. And wicked. Lol. Anyway, I was starting to be closer to Amy and Peyton as they were all I had at the time (Gila sedih. Hehe). And, by the end of semester berapa entah, I was introduced to some new friends, their coursemates: Mary, Mimi, Nad and Ita. Yeah, new friends. But when we became housemates then we’ve got closer.

My close girl friends were mostly from Chemical Engineering. Not to say I don’t have any from my course, I’ve had my share of memories with my coursemates. My bff was one of them. Lol. So, it’s like 80++ guys and 30 girls. We have a lot more girls than our seniors. My first impression: the guys were so immature. They would make loud noises during classes, acted so phonily or bajet in other word. But, despite all that, we’ve managed to have Mechanical Engineering Club (Meche) to ourselves for two terms. And it was great. We’ve been to trips and conducted events. Those trips where we would cerita hantu and played teka teki (Oh yea, one funny teka teki from my bff: Bandar apa paling banyak. Answer: Seremban. Sebab dia ada tiga. Oh so ‘funny’). He was naturally a ‘funny’ person. His definition of funny was teasing people. Anyway, you could see some hate memoirs dedicated to him. It’s a love hate relationship actually (love for a friend of course). On the good side, I could really talk to him. On stuffs. He made my days when his jokes were funny (in real). And he’s very frank. I like that when my friends are not hypocrite. However, when being too frank, it gets annoying. Oh, and we’re stuck in everything together. Labs, group works, clubs, even managed our batch dinner together. Yes, I can rely on him when it comes to work. Because I’m too used to him. I’ll always consider him as my bff (heh) although we could spend one semester not talking to each other. He’s getting married next year (insyaallah) and I wish him all the happiness in the world.



Besides him, I was close to Man (he used to be my pendengar masalah or vice versa. Maybe not too often now. But thanks for being the cool friend =)). And Jebby (ex roommate of bff and current roommate of Man). I wasn’t close to him then but as final year is approaching, Jebby la peneman bersuka ria, duka, prob, karok, pembekal south park etc. And dia tak habis paper lagi (together with Man). Good luck! =). I was close with the girls, especially Buntal, Cilla and Chaong. Chaong was my temporary bff during early days, Buntal during intern and final year and Cilla is my housemate. Anyway, I will miss Meche and everything we did together. It was the most laid back bunch of lads (Not the girls. They were rajin. Mungkin sebab itu saya malas).

Oh yeah, before I get into the final part of my memoir, I forgot to tell on another bunch of cool lads. Okay, honestly, the term budak kelantan used to annoy me. Because I was one of the skeptical people who were judgmental. I’ve got to know these guys called Freestylers (name of their football affiliation) through Mary towards the end of semester before we went for internship. It turned out they were not all from Kelantan. And they were one of the coolest people around. I mean guys who didn’t mind practicing with bunch of amateur women in football. They’ve helped Smackthat (name of our futsal team) won first runner up in UTP league by being unselfish and helpful. And they were awesome. Really. That opens up my mind and eyes that I shouldn’t be too judgemental. One of the Freestylers that I’ve become close friends with is Zeeraf (giraffe?haha :p). He’s this urban, altruistic bla2, all in all, interesting and worth to be friends with. Can really open up your mind to new things and concepts, also new vocabs. Lol. Anyways, if any of you Freestylers is reading this, kamu memang budak kelantan + kedah + KL + Selangor + Serata Malaysia yang best!

Next part: Final chapter. =)

P/s: I’m scared I left out any names. Anyway, semua budak UTP batch Jan04 rox. We might be lame to people, but we’ve managed to survive these five years without jadi ulat buku semata-mata. Thumbs up to us! Wuhuu!

OH.FILEM MELAYU.OH.

Okay. I need to write this. I need to get the frustration OUT and LOUD.

SELAMAT PAGI CINTA Sucks! Big time! (Exception to people who are easily touched by people dying / miseries / cinta tak kesampaian).

Ok. Relieved. Anyway, I always say these words after watching Malay movies but I never actually give up on them. Maybe I should. I have very high hope (and patience too) that I can get satisfaction from watching my country made movies. I am patriotic (mungkin sedikit stupid). History teaches me to be that way. Family and culture too. Those are the things that keep me being an overly optimistic citizen. With sucky politic condition in Malaysia, the film industry doesn’t help in lifting my patriotism to the highest level. It’s a love hate relationship but the LOVE is too strong it blinds all the hatred part of the relationship.

Ini sudah beralih topik. Jadi, kesimpulannya adalah saya sangat berdoa setiap kali trailer filem melayu keluar sebelum filem Melayu yang saya akan / selalunya dikecewakan akan membuat saya tersenyum selepas menontonnya. Because if we don’t, who will? So dear directors and producers and actors and actress, also politicians, please think outside the box to please your audiences and rakyat. That’s all for today’s review and thoughts.

Oh, yea, for Madagascar 2, it’s Made In Hollywood but it made me laugh (on the jokes. Not the stupidity). And it’s a cartoon. So, highly recommended for animal lovers. Especially wicked penguin and dancing tigers. Oh and love story between two different animals. Better than the story mentioned above. Because at least they’re animals. What do you expect from them right?. I want to shake it shake it :p.

Memoir (Part 1)

The sky was blue, grass was green..(Ok, cut it, I think I’m going to write this not too skema hopefully).

Time: Nearly 5 years ago.
Place: Somewhere in Toronto.

I’ve stepped inside a room in my new university (my first ever university). I had mixed feelings of nervousness and annoyance. I was annoyed that my post SPM break was shortened immensely by one offer letter arriving at my house couple of weeks ago. I even forgotten I ever applied for this place. So, stated there, Mechanical Engineering Programme. 5 years. I refused to go at first. Same feelings when I’ve got the offer letter to my boarding school 2 years ago. Feeling of dreadful future ahead. But then, after so many advises (or bebelan) I’ve received on future and all its importance, I gave up. Maybe university life would be much cooler than boarding school (my boarding school experience did turn out great in the end). So there I was. Starting my new life.

………………………………………… (Jumping the orientation week and such)

My old friends were there! Even my ex roommates, Jenny and Moony were there. What a relief! I’ve met new friends, most of them were from the same school. So our friends were from two schools. My school and their school. Anyway, from my observation, my batch intake was mostly from boarding schools, so explained the clique of schoolmates. Me and my friends used to make fun of those so-called elites ex school students. How phony they were. Guess we were immature then. So, starts a new friendship. There were quite a number of US: There’s Peyton, Amy, and Rogayah from the Island School; me, Jenny, Moony, Naddy, Muah and Aza from the Ulu Land School (It was deserted. Same goes to my new college / university). Additional member: Abang S from Island School. He was our Big Bro.

We went out everyday to dinner together, because there was no internet or dc++ then to prevent us from being socially incompetent. We’ve spent our days gossiping, going out, going to class together (I went to class particularly with Rogayah and Aza as they were my coursemates). Living in the Old Village was so much fun. And very memorable. It’s like a small community who knows each other and it was lively, especially around the seniors’ blocks, which we’ve nicknamed Hutan Sepilok, due to excessive noise resembling monkeys every time there were girls walked through their blocks. They even had radio broadcasting! (Which I’ve found creepy but amusing). Walking through the blocks was a daily obstacle every time we were going to class. Not only the seniors, but our male batch mates, where one of their blocks was opposite of us, were also creepy. Right on the opposite of my room, there was this room, who looked very suspicious because there would always be lots of guys inside (and most of them were half naked. Ergh),whom would always look at our blocks with something like a telescope. Later I’ve found out there was indeed telescope in their room. How perverted.

We’ve had our good times, like Amy birthday where we’ve had a kononnya wine splash (something like in Hollywood) moment, but with sparkling water. That was fun. Hehe. And going to Ipoh by bus. Oh, sangat tabah rasanya masa-masa mudaku. Also some bad times. One time, Rogayah was harassed by this senior who wanted to hit on her in very persuasive, scary way. I was sorry I did act like ditching her at some point. (Note to Rogayah: Sorry! I was always clueless / lampi. Still is anyway. Duh). Anyways, my friends were hot. Lots of seniors were hitting on them during the first semester but none ever succeed. They’ve ended up swept by batch mates (Was. Heh). One more thing that I’ve remembered was during rainy days, we would lepak at Jenny room, masak Maggi Goreng Indo Mee with Hot Chocolate. While gossiping and talking. Gosh, I miss that.

We’ve talked about so many things too, especially when SPM results were drawing nearer. Everyone seems to want go further their studies overseas. It scared me that everyone would go away and I’ll be left here all alone. Little I know, I was right. Most of them left after first semester. Rogayah, Naddy, Muah, even Jenny and Moony. How University of Toronto seems like the gloomiest place during my second semester. I was stressed out and felt the next 4 and a half years would be miserable. I had no roommate (Rogayah was supposed to be my roommate, with disco ball lamp and everything. Sob Sob) and the usual large gang was extremely reduced to four of us: Me, Peyton, Amy and Aza. Which during my first semester, only Peyton was the only one who always hangs out with us, and I was not too close to her then. There I was: lonely and miserable….but not for long.

Dedication:
Girls, although we’ve only spent 6 months together ( I wasn’t even close to some of you at former Ulu Land School), it was one of the best moments I’ve had in UTP. And it’s really great we still keep in touch regularly and meet up every time you guys came back. I heart you guys. XOXO!

P/s: Real name and place are confidential. Saje je. Hehe.
P/s/s: I’ve remembered my theme song was invisible. Deng.

Dari Kecewa ke Gembira =)~

Oh.Free kick Ronaldo menjadi kali ini.

Penguinnssss.....~
Earlier this week was shitty due to these factors:

1) MU lost to Arsenal (SUPER PISSED OFF)
2) Internet was super suck, no google talk, ym, blogging etc2 (SUPER PISSED OFF)
3) The beginning of exam week (Oh, I hate exams)
4) Certain Someone FORGOT an important date (I felt neglected, un appreciated =( )

Then......Now. This Moment. I have an 180 degree of change of heart. Saya Happy. Saya sangat happy. Kerana MU menang 5 - 0 ke atas Stoke City and Arsenal lost 2 - 0 to Villa. Wuhuuu..Anyway, let me list down the good things came with this extremely happy news:

1) 3 papers were over. I have only 1 paper left. Can't wait!
2) Internet is fine now. I mean, better than before. Yang lambat macam moyang kepada kura2 (quote rumate. lol)
3 )I think people do forget. And they ask for forgiveness. So all is well =).

Alhamdulillah =). Anyway, the memoirs on the friends (how assholes, geishas, bullies, caring, sweet etc) are coming. Stay tune!

Saya mahu tengok Madagascar.Mahu. Mahu. I wanna move it move it...

Ameeth yang akan dirindui~

I can’t sleep. Just got back from lepak2 bersama Altruistic Guy, his BFF and Mary di mapley kegemaran saya. And, the anne knew my name once again! (Now I think all points on observation of Mapley by MM are very true. Heh).

I will miss mapley. This particular mapley held so many memories while I’m in Tronoh terchenta. Let’s reminisce on this mapley now I am leaving it for good. (Dah start terharu dah ni).

It goes by the name of Ameeth (bukan Sithick or Salam or Salim etc2). Saya mula menceburkan diri dalam bidang melepak di mapley sejak first year kot (foundation tak berkawan dengan orang ade kereta. Dan juga merasakan mapley tak berapa cool). So, there starts a beautiful relationship (seriously I can’t really recall bad times there. Oh maybe when MU lost their games. Especially against Arsenal. Football related je kot).

Countless outings had been recorded ever since. The frequency of these outings resulted in the anne knew my name and that implied the status of regular customer in their book. Cuma I always tukar2 menu, so they didn’t knew my routine food la (ok, exception of Maggi Goreng Takde Sayur Pedas 1! Terbaik di Perak, Malaysia dan dunia. Serius, tak tipu :p).

Ameeth recorded the best times of Manchester United victories (Double last semester was the best), the best times of friendships and eventually, one of the best times of my life in Tronoh. Kami lepak, emo tengok bola, berdiskusi, even brought notes there like it was a second home to me. Indeed, it was. At least to me. Cuma untuk mengimpikan toilet yang bersih itu seperti menunggu kucing bertanduklah.

Ok, there goes my special post to Ameeth. I will remember Sirajudin, Anuar (ini orang tipu sama saya dan sudah balik India =( ), the anne who buat air selalu senyum, basically all the anne la. To the best Mapley in Malaysia, Ameeth rocks the socks off my world! Thanks! Weeheee =).

P/s : Macamla anne2 ni ade blog nak bace. But with the rapid progress of Mapley in Malaysia, we’ll never know :p

Bola itu bulat. Jadi senangla nak masukkan ke dalam kotak itu.

Penyelamat hari ini, The Welsh Wizard bersama definitely bukan penyelamat hari ini-_-

Oh Berbatov dan Tevez, kamu itu strikers. Boleh tak tolong jaringkan gol? Depan gol pun tak dapat jaringkan, nak kene baling dengan tong sampah ke? Because that’s where you guys belonged to for the moment.

Ini adalah penulisan baru balik dari match MU – Celtic yang terlalu menghiburkan kerana dapat melihat pemain – pemain kelab terbaik dunia kegemaran saya bermain dengan penuh hebat. 23 shots. One goal (thanks Giggsy). Ok, saya tipu. Menjengkelkan sebenarnya. Lately, there’s been too many wasted chances. Oh Sir Alex Ferguson yang memakai bunga merah, silalah nasihatkan mereka – mereka supaya bukan sahaja dapat menjaringkan gol, malah tidak memalukan diri sendiri dan membuatkan semua orang memanggil mereka hasel / sayur / sampah. Oh, this applies to the BEST player in the world, Cristiano Ronaldo itu juga.

Yang menggembirakan saya adalah kehadiran Rafael yang comel berserta rambut maggi nya. Oh, dan Chelsea kalah. Dan Arsenal seri juga.

Oh, tolong jangan bermain begini semasa melawan Arsenal. Then saya akan seriously super pissed off. Ni pre pissed off je. Lol.

Glory2.

Oh. Mahu Itu Ini. Bagaimanakah?

Mahu pergi...wuuu~

Suddenly I feel like I am fashion incompetent. Or maybe it has to do with confidence issue. Beautiful people are confident. Check this girl out. She is gorgeous so she’s not afraid of being very fashionable. Are only beautiful people can wear extra ordinary clothes? Oh, I long to break off the fashion dullness and try something different. Main problem: confident issue. I'm trying to appear confident but insecurities keep pulling me back from taking risks. Well, money is the other vital aspect. I am capable of being a shopaholic (saye sangat suke tengok orang bergaya dan mungkin cuba jadi bergaya juga) but I have to decide whether I want to wear expensive clothes or save them for travelling, because travelling is my other passion too. I have a map, a world geography book, list of places to go; the only thing left is enough money to materialize that dream. It all comes back to the green, blue, greenish blue notes. Sigh.

I want to ask something. But if I ask how to generate money, I think itu soalan bodoh. Money doesn’t come easily unless you work hard or you marry some rich guy. Jadi, soalan saye adalah: How to be fashionable and travelling to your dream places without burning your pocket? I know there are ways of cheap travelling (one of my fav channel is Travel and Living channel. I love Globe Trekker and Passport to Europe) but I want to hear from people with experiences on this. How to find chic, vintage clothes and how to travel with budget and have great times? Because I will be free for few months (hopefully) soon and I want to travel, find great clothes, do something rather than duduk rumah tengok tv and wishing I am somewhere in Europe, being a fashionista I’m not because what a loser I would feel. At least one oversea trip..Oh, pleaseee God help me grant that wish.

Envy dengan kawan-kawan with trip here and there but I can’t wait to hear all about their journey. Must be exciting! Jadi kawan2, mari kite pergi travel ramai2 so kite tak jeles dengan mereka! =)

It's not so crappy today. Alhamdulillah~

Fly.Terbang.....~

First.
Thanks to friends who have cared whether I’m hurt or not. That means a lot to me.

Second.
Optimism doesn’t sucks today. I will stay by my principle and try to be as optimistic as I can.

Third.
The reason for second was I’ve just finished watching “The Freedom Writers” and it struck me right in my brain (both right and left) that my problems were too little to be frustrated for too long. And it marks my heart that I should do more goods to the world.

Fourth.
You should watch the movie if you feel you’re in a deep hole of darkness where you feel there’s no light (FYP? Final exams? Those are killing you? Oh. Grow up. Note to self). Plus, do watch if you are at least a little bit optimistic because pessimists are shadows covering the light.

Fifth.
It’s the last month of my university years. I should be happy. Do happy things. Cherish the idea of finally graduating (I should watch High School Musical perhaps. lol). Do crazy youthful things. Emancipation of self.

It all comes down to be positive. Yes, I’m expressive and my empathy is so strong sometimes it can stress me out. But, as Erin Gruwell said in the film, “I want my life to make sense to me”, that was exactly what I’m searching for. Let's hope for the best.

Phony friend? Should you stay or not?

I feel shitty now.
I am super upset.

Have you ever be in this situation: doing your best to control your temper for 5 freaking years; cried, screamed, even swore you will never talk to someone who treats you so bad but ended up forgiving and stay friends, no, best friends with that person? Am I a moron or an angel wannabe who think everyone can change? Optimism sucks big time now. Someone please tell me that.

I guess I left the forgetting part. I don’t forget. Maybe that’s why the anger keeps on resurfacing. One of the main reasons I’ve stayed friend with this A-list a-hole because I think by being able to be patient with his super immature actions and words will enable me to face anything life can throw at me. Every time I’ve cried, I’ve reminded myself that it was nothing. There are worse things out there. It can help me being tougher. True, I did improve in the sensitivity part, but sometimes, I feel when I act cool with all the crappy shitty stuff, people say I am bullied. You know how insulted I am? I bear with all the burden of being someone who tries so phonily to be the ‘nice’ girl when I’ve ended up labelled bullied? Shit, I should have known better. Degrading my dignity makes me suffer.

The worst part of this so-called friendship is I have always cared for him. I always pray he will treat me better. To not ever hurt my feelings again. Don’t get me wrong, I always think of him as my guy best friend. And to so many people amusement (even myself at this point), I’ve sticked with him through all these years. Maybe friendship needs to end at some point. When you no longer feel you are respected. I know respect has to be earned but I think I’ve worked too much for too long for something near to impossible. I am tired.

Oh, hati, tolongla jangan terluka lagi.
Sakit itu Tuhan saja yang tahu.
Orang lain takkan tahu.
Orang lain takkan faham.

Just to share something I’ve found on the net:

How can a friendship goes rotten?

A. By making heart breaking jokes to each other.
B. By betraying the trust of forever watching each other backs.
C. By laughing when friends are crying.
D. By claiming a friend when in need and dumping one when in greed.
E. All the above


These are the series of questions that we have to ask ourselves when we want to decide on turning dishonest and making a friendship rotten! Honesty is the best policy. When you stop being truthful to your friends on your feelings and keep gathering the silent anger, that is when you’re being dishonest in your friendship. When you stop caring on what your friends is feeling, that is a dishonest. When you overly expecting your friends to give the respect that you deserve, that is a dishonest. When we neglect to give the respect to the deserved friends, that is also a dishonest. Dishonesty is what rotting his friendship. If only we all could be more honest on our feelings, be frank when we’re hurt, stop on being selfish and help each other more.

Oh, please comment people. Thank you.

Hampir Habis.

Halfway.Halfway. Eh, ¼ way. ¼ way…

Sekejap lagi..In about a month time I’ll finally be freed from my tertiary education. I’ll fly out there to the real world with a smile on my face. Smile of a liberation survivor. That sounds super duper phony. LOL.

I suddenly feel like it’s a jungle out there. I feel like Monk who scares of so many things. Stop thinking too much Zainur Azwin. Have a little faith in fate and hard works. Life’s too short to think of so many consequences of simple / medium / complicated actions.

Orang tak pernah kisah kalau mereka ada semua.
Malangnya tidak semua orang bernasib baik.
Jadi hampir semua orang kisah.
Dunia dan kebendaan itu sinonim.
Tetapi mereka lupa.
Akhirat dan amal juga sinonim.
Oh. Senang lupa.
Terjaga….Harus Sedar.

Yep, it’s wengness mood strikes back. I think I will behave like this for quite a while because of the excessive Coke + works + stress + excitement to end these 5 years journey.

By the end of the month I will summarize what I’ve been through and what I’ve learnt throughout these years. Like a conclusion to my final report. No recommendation though. Lol. I’m sure my previous posts said a thing or two about my life for now, but hey, it’s my blog, so suke hati la kan? Hehe. So I’m done for now. As Fareez current favorite word says, KISS (Keep It Suka Suki (Ok saye tipu. Lain sebenarnye). I’ll let him write his. Harus! =)

Plant something better than anggur.duh.

Gosh. I never felt so relieved yet so tense. It’s a relief that I went through these hectic past two weeks without MAJOR damage to my mental being (that’s been said, I think Red Bull, Nescafe and Coke helps. So much for the health conscious wannabe).

Yes. Interviews. Who likes them? Apparently I did enjoy one of my interviews this week. They’ve had Career Placement Week for bakal penanam anggur like me. The one particular interview that I like was with Baker Hughes and I’m sure most people do. No pressure, no scary looking interviewers, it’s just a fun chat. Fun but at the same time we had to impress them. I adore people who could sell themselves without appear to be conceited (I don’t know if I am one) because people who are confident can be misjudged as cocky. Or they are even conceited because they want to be superior to others, so they can win this interview competition. Yes, interviews are competition and some people just love to win them ALL. Even though they have won the biggest prize, they still want to win others too. Just to prove they can. And I think that is the phoniest, crappiest and selfish-est thing one can do. Especially in today’s ever changing and ever competitive world.

I’m up for challenges but I am not the optimistic of them all. I just pray that my best can achieve something someday. If it’s not now maybe it’s sooner or later. Now I’m contradicting my statement of not being optimistic because now I think I do (ok, wengness mood strikes). Anyway, I hope I land a job I love. They say aim for the star, for if you fail, you can always reach the cloud. Then you won’t be too disappointed when your aim is not reached. Very semi opmitistic.LOL.I want to be a multi millionaire, so if I can’t reach that goal, at least I can marry one (now what am I merapiking about. Haha).

Anyway, the tense resurfaces because next week will be another hectic week. This is worse because it involves books, pen, paper, calculator and another mind cramping sessions. Maybe I’ll seek help from the suggested air from my previous post (lemon tea, tea, sting (where can I find this ginseng strawberry flavour yucky / yummy air?) and not forgotten tequila / vodka (if only it’s not haram. LOL)). Good luck left brain and right brain. Stay sane! ~:>

Crazy.Gile.Fuzzy.

Oh, meow, I noe how u feel -_-~

GILE.GILE.GILE. Die ingat satu subjek je saye amek this semester? Die ingat I will dedicate my whole LAST Semester doing his ‘wonderful’ assignments??? And quizzes??

Crappy crab. And I thought I can lepak2 towards the end of the semester. Life should be easier towards the end. It should!!!!

Saye rase saye weng. Dan sedikit tertekan. Saye mahu minum Coke. Tetapi Coke membahayakan kesihatan. Jadi, saye beralih ke Red Bull. Ade orang kate Red Bull pun tak elok minum byk2. Jadi, who wins this battle? Red Bull, Coke or ……? Give me one good air yang memberikan tenaga dan menghilangkan tekanan (perlu sedap seperti Coke or Red Bull. Don’t suggest me Pepsi atau Livita. They appear to be sama x serupa). Oh, and they have to tidak berapa membahayakan kesihatan, kerana saye mahu minum berdozen2. Terime kasih.

P/s: Notice the campuran bahasa? I’m going manglish at times (when I'm in wengness mood).

I’ve drank Red Bull last night. And I am drinking Coke now…..duh.

Win.Lose.Yin.Yang.Keseimbangan itu Penting~

When you fail, what do you feel? Sad? Angry? Pasrah? Happy? (surely not the latter right).

People will always say, there’s next time, and there will always be quotes to motivate you but a failure is still a failure, no matter how close it was to success. And failure takes time to heal. To absorb to our pessimistic brain (yes, optimism is hard right after failure occurs) that this was a good experience. It can teach us to be better. To stand up and walk on with pride. To not say ‘F***, bull**** or other profanities but still manage a smile instead of tears.

As much as I want to be a strong-willed girl, I am super sensitive to the core (my closest companions can testify to that). Thus, when I fail, I am sad, I am angry because I thought I have given my best. And my best deserved a success. Be it in a competition, in relationship, in friendship, we win some and lose some, says Jason Mraz. So I will surround myself with people that won’t put me down. Which I think I’m blessed with. Tujuan post kali ini memang untuk meluahkan kesedihan, hati duka dan lara yang melibatkan terlalu banyak perkataan ‘kalau’ di dalam minda yang memang semulajadi serabut ini. And because I’ve lost in the UN GAID Global Youth Forum by Astro. It was for a UN conference in Armenia end of this month. And there goes my first chance of being heard by the world. Because I do care about this one world. As sceptical people might be to that confession.

But, I have my win in the end. Because God has given me 22 years to live in this world. A chance I am truly thankful for. Means I can keep on failing and succeeding as long as I don’t lose that passion and self dignity =).

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you then you win.
-Mahatma Gandhi-

Updated

Thanks to my friends for making life in UTP bearable. And Dede has just shocked me last night because he actually can be SWEET to me for real for once. Ahaha. And my roommate whom I know is sweet because of my huge influence on her (die akan cakap the same thing. She’s like female version of Dede but much less meaner and sweeter. Maybe that’s the reason they are both my BFF =) ). And Payeh, I won’t do any double dare. Kire draw la now. And I dare you to tell me your blog’s name! (Eh, senang sangat. Nanti tukar..Haha).

Last but not least, MU won 4-0 last night. It’s a great birthday present to me! Yabedabedu. Eh, besides my beloved boyfriend called from across the sea. I miss him.
=(.

I miss him like Garfield misses his lasagna.

Hope.Dream.Reality.

Have you ever feel you can do/ achieve something great?
That your dream is finally having a shot of coming true?
Well…this is a mixture of feelings.
I don’t want to have high hopes. But I don’t to want to screw it up or not trying my best at all.
I am in my journey of achieving that dream.
I hope everything goes well. Amin.
Most important thing is the lesson learnt.
Which I will definitely treasure my whole life.
Pray for me people! =)

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm"
-Winston Churchill-

Oh Raya Oh~

Okay. It’s time to update my blog. And I did just that. I revamped the layout and I think it looks less monotonous than before. Heh. Owh, and I will never get track of the visitors because I keep on changing the tracking system, got it from Thaqif’s blog (like my blog matters to others la kan. It is just for own satisfaction :p).

Anyway it’s time for a new post. It’s past my self deadline. If I work in a magazine, I’m fired for sure. Lol. Everyone talks about how festive their Raya is. So again, should I follow the trend? Guess I will. Typical I am. Here goes the chronology of my Raya 2008:

1. The tradition has changed a bit during malam Raya. Usually we would go to ANW, but this year KFC came to our Rasah home. Due to some working cousins belanja- ed us. Thanks Abang and Waffi and Angah Wani and Along Zura! Owh, and Fuad Syukri too. For the first raya as a muslim =).

2. The first raya wasn’t as eventful as before due to absence of few families. But it was still great anyway. The laksa and mee kari were still the bomb. Owh, and there was incident involving a big rat on avenge mission (rat from hell says the victim) who bit the victim, caused some war at early dawn and survive alive and satisfied to scare us off next time (damn you cheeky mouse!).

3. The second raya was so unlike last year due to much lesser people in Keluarga Kawal gathering. And we didn’t buy any cabutan bertuah. Pak cik was so lucky (he won 4 lucky draw and 1 meneka éclairs competition. Early birthday gift :p). Also, Abang and Angah Wani got the EXTRA duit Raya for completing their studies (And they say it’s only for IPTA. Guess they don’t know the hard works us IPTS students had to go through. Sigh)

4. My accumulated duit raya was over 100. I considered that an achievement. Yeay!

5. I finally went and met my Georgian friends after months. The guilt was released (phew)! And I even went beraya to balai polis. Hee..

6. Karaoke and mapley session with the out-of-this-world cousins were great. I’m glad we still could hang out together. They are still as crazy as ever!

7. I’ve watched two movies but not KAMI. I think Mamma Mia was better than Eagle eye because it was more original in term of story line. (I think repeated concept of a movie is lame).

8. I’ve watched a documentary ‘Inside Islam’ in History channel and it’s a good refreshing memories and knowledge to the ignorant me.

9. I think time past by nearly as the same speed as sound (if I say light Einstein would grovel in his grave. Lol) and now I’m back in UTP.

10. I have to do my poster for my FYP. How a boring fact to end the chronology. Anyway, just discovered it is due on 17th October 2008. Why did I come back soo early?? Whyyy????

Sigh again. Anyway, here are some photos commemorate the eventful festival. I will always love Raya (but a tad lesser when I am giving duit raya instead of getting them. It’s a symbolic transition from fun young days to a more serious, mature me. Yeah, right.

Moi Familia

Second Syawal





First Syawal

*Pictures speak thousand words =)

Tag post after Tagged by the Tagging game by the Tagger. LOL.

This is a bit late from the day Fareez tagged me but now that I’m home and in the mood of writing, here goes the 15 random facts people (apart from the Tafsiran Zainur he made) don’t know about me (if you do, just consider yourself lucky enough to really know me. LOL)

1. I like siku (as in elbow). Don’t ask what I mean by that. It’s weird but true. Haha.

2. I pride myself in being an orang Negeri Sembilan because I personally feel it’s a beautiful culture. That’s why I am very family oriented. And feminist (refer to Tafsiran Zainur).However, I am not proud of being associated with KJ.

3. I wanted to be a historian, archaeologist or journalist. Engineering is never my passion. But I’m learning to appreciate what I have.

4. My best personal achievement to me is not winning Anugerah Kurikulum, or been Vice President of Astronomy club (geeky stuff, I know. Haha) but to have written script for inter class drama competition back at MRSM and we did win for Best Actor (although script played minor role perhaps) because that was the time I felt I was able to write something good.

5. I want to make a change to the world somehow. Although I feel I do it half-heartedly.

6. It’s hard for me to trust people. That’s why I have trouble having best friends I can trust and tell everything to. This is including finding the right boyfriend and trusting him.

7. I love listening to people. I like hearing gossips, stories or problems. It opens up my mind and helps me understand people and life more.

8. I think I am pretty good in English but not excellent. I adore superb vocabulary people can come up with. And I’m terrible with grammar (have been / has been / had been? Who cares? Suck. Haha).

9. I hate being judgemental. And people who are judgemental. But I do judge people from appearances, so I hate myself? Nah, I just refrain myself to judge too soon or retract my judgement once I realize I’m being judgemental. Lot’s of judge words here. LOL.

10. I think too much (I think this is a known fact). I can think about future and beyond at once. Maybe that’s why I’m slow sometimes (counter back Tafsiran Zainur) because my mind keeps wandering around somewhere. Haha.

11. I can cry over and over again when watching Armageddon (especially the part when Bruce Willis was about to blow himself and recalled all the good memories). Deng, that was the saddest movie scene ever.

12. I don't think I have the best bond with my sisters. Especially my youngest sis. I try to figure out how I can improve this relationship. I love them though.

13. I can spend hours reading blogs. Yes, I am addicted to stories (mention in 7). Be it their own life or their own perception of life.

14. I am expressive. If I have something I don’t like, I’ll tell it. And if I’m happy, it’ll be written all over my face. It’s a setback sometimes because silence is better than harsh words / actions.

15. Last fact of the day. I do follow rule. Or maybe trying to. I am ‘skema’ at heart. I don’t see any negativities come off it. So people, do follow some (or all) rules if you can.

Finally done. Again, Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin (I don’t see what’s the fuss people are making about the Batin word. All up to your interpretation) to everyone who knows me or read my blog. Datangla beraya ke rumah! =)

The Invention of Television and all the joy it brings~

Okay. I am backdated when it comes to Malay series. Because honestly, none has ever attracts my attention. Or sustain the attention I gave when I’ve decided to watch them. I do support Malaysia film industry (although after countless disappointments) but not much on the series. Because it needs a really good story line to keep me interested. I am very sceptical and very logical. If I think it’s illogical, I simply stop watching them. So, recently, after hearing so many good reviews (Owh yeah, I was always fooled by reviews too) and no updates on the series I’ve been watching (yes, they are all Made in Hollywood), I’ve decided to watch KAMI.

Yeah, it was a tad late (Okla. Very late) discovery but it was good. Really really good. Better than some Hollywood series I’ve watched. It’s very logical and very hip. Very up to date (in term of fashion, music, lifestyle), and I’m sure most of the young teenagers (I’m in the transition state :p) can relate to. Screwed up families are always portrayed in Malay series, but I sense more honesty and realness in the series. Life is not all rainbows and flowery: they suck sometimes. Or most of the times. So we find comfort in people who understand us more: our friends. Or even cousins who are the same age as us (oh, I so can relate to that). The best part of this series is it didn’t try too hard to portray all these elements. I’ve seen exaggeration way too many times in Malay series / films, so to find one that really not OTT (Over the top) is such a relief. By the way, now I get it why people are really into underground music scene. It’s quite cool and not so phony. And I think Ezani (Ali) is super cute. Lol.

Okay, I think that revamp my spirit of supporting the local entertainment industry. I’m still a patriotic person with the hope of seeing my country becoming better in everything (that was deep :p). Raya is approaching, home and the festivities is waiting, so I would like to say sorry dorry, kemaafan dipinta sempena Aidilfitri ni. Ramadhan is ending and I hope I could do better for the next one. Amin. Drive carefully people!

Be a caring citizen of the world~

People! If you care about the environment please answer these survey questions. I am helping someone. You can either answer them in the comment section or send me an email at hi_zzzz@yahoo.com. TQ!!!!

1. Have you ever recycle your paper / bottles / anything recyclable stuff? If yes, how often do you do that?

2. Do you own a car / motorcycle? If yes, how many hours per day you are using them?

3. Have you ever littered? If yes, how often? (Answer honestly)

4. Have you ever joined or participate in any environment related activity?

5. What is your opinion on the environment-based activities in Malaysia?

6. Do you think the recycle bins in Malaysia is beneficial and efficient or not? If yes, state why.

7. What do you think can improve the awareness of recycling / environment condition in our country?

I don't forgive and forget. I get even. Haha.

I have a friend. He likes to think he’s different. He doesn’t like being typical. He even likes non typical girl. Not I’m saying he is a wannabe. He is really different. Although his star sign said most of the right things about him (even agreed by him), he still appears to be far from what we called the norm (he’s not eccentric though). I’ve done a poem on my roommate once (yes, sweet I know) so here’s an attempt of another ‘phony’ one.

Fareez went to a shop.
In the shop there are lots of things.
He asked the shop owner,
Can I have these things for free?
In your dream! Says the shop owner.
So he sleeps right there and he dreams.

So he dreams a wonderful dream
Take only one thing and you can have them all, says the shop owner again.
So he picks the best three: Plain Vanilla Ice Cream, Book and Diamond Ring
On Book, he knows they make him happy. But he’s picky.
On Diamond Ring, it’s flashy but it ain’t him.
So in the end he chooses the Plain Vanilla Ice Cream. He can eat, savour it and eat another one on any day of the week.

Then he wakes up. A dream is only a dream.
But there’s the shop owner with a Plain Vanilla Ice Cream in his hand.
It is a one fine day for an already smiley Fareez.
Dreams can turn into reality.

Metaphor? Go figure :p.

p/s: I guess this is an original piece. Haha.

Change. Evolution.

This FYP thingy is giving me flu, a cough, a sleeping disorder / deficit. Basically a haywire life for the moment. Cepatlaa habisss. Deng. Thus, another post to write.

Lately, I’ve been blog hopping to blog / blogs that love defining people. Like how these people from these certain places dress up, act, hangout places etc. I’m wondering, are we that easily be categorized? Maybe as a general, we fit under a category, but appearances and behaviours are complicated thing to judge. Anyway, we are entitled to write anything on our blog, so here are my opinions on the matter.

From my personal observation, people evolve. Or change. It can be either forward, or backward, up to personal interpretation. But people like to generalize these changes. Example:

1. From free hair to wearing tudung (or vice versa)
2. From liberal to conservative (or vice versa)
3. From a playboy to one lady man (or vice versa), etc2

I’m sure the former will receive praises and people will think it is definitely for better. How sure are we they will turn out good? A tudung wearer might have sex or have worse attitude than a free hair girl. A too conservative person can be too radical it can be obsessive / harmful. A one lady man can turn out to be under queen control and can’t make decision on his own. There are probabilities of these ‘better’ changes turn out to be the opposite of what people generally think. I’m not saying the latter is better, but the possibility of them to be better is also there. People might say, where’s the righteousness in showing your aurah, being too liberal or a playboy? I will say humans are not perfect. You are not. So do I. As long as there are rooms for improvements, I’m sure there can be changes for better. People learn from their mistakes. With age comes wisdom, says the philosopher. I will try not to be too judgemental and I hope other people won’t too.

“All changes are created in a moment, with a simple choice.” –R.T Gorham-

Truth or Dare?

This will be my shortest entry (by my standard :P)

I’m sure you guys have played the Truth or Dare game right? Well, watch the movie ‘love me if you dare’, a French movie which will open up your eyes to a different level of dare game. Because in the end, truth will prevail. In a weird absurd unique kind of way. Anyway, I always play the truth game because I know my honesty won’t hurt anyone, especially myself. But sometimes you have to break the circle of norm and be crazy sometimes. That’s how you enjoy life more. I think la. Opinion differs. I think I do will chicken out if it’s too vicious / embarrassing by my standard. But I’m willing to give it a shot. Because my blog’s name says it all. Unpredictable life it is. And I'm young still. Hehe.

Thus,
I’m Game Fareez. Bring it On! :p

P/S: The dare must not melanggar etika2 kehidupan. Sekian.

Responsive action~

I vow to myself to write in my blog every week. Although perchance what I write is not meaningful, or crappy in other phrase. Thus, to stay true to my words, I want to write about response to nasty words / actions.

Have you ever been in this kind of situation?

You: Dude, can you please lower your voice. I want to watch this movie.
That Dude: Do you think you own the cinema? Suke hati aku lah!
You (Option A): Are you that selfish?? You A******! This is not your cinema too! Have some respect!
You (Option B): I am asking you so that I and other people can watch this movie without being distracted. There’s no need for the harsh tone ok.

Well, just a favourite-all time scene (and due to the iklan digi teletubbies). There are so many examples where people are harsh to one another. It can be due to so many reasons. Our friends, boyfriends, family members can utterly do or say something that really pisses us off. So, what reaction will you give? A or B? Okay, maybe A is a bit OTT (Over the Top), but my point is you could respond by being angry or by calm. And we tend to do A. Where it can leads to a bigger fight. It is just like lighting petrol. It can burst. And just like fire, it takes time to extinguish. Or maybe die naturally.

I myself always feel irritated at an angry person. Because I feel I don’t deserve such treatment. But when I think about it again, my action of responding negatively to a negative situation is like the same pole of magnet pulled away from one another. We can never neutralise them. Until we change the pole. Or the other person does. Thus, I think whenever someone says or do something unkind / cruel / nasty, I will try to analyze them. Then I will act. Maybe it’s stress, maybe it’s due to hormonal imbalance (women only) or maybe they are certified a******* (I’ve got this info from The A****** book). The first two I can tolerate with but not with the last one. They will never change so it is okay to act A on them.

Anyway, we will never know how we will react. But it’s better to have this conscience. Hopefully it’ll help us manage our anger and channel them to do something more beneficial. Like our assignments and stuff (LOL).

S*** happens~

S*** happens. As simple as that. No it’s not. Especially if you hate using profanity due to some principle but when the patience is tested the profanity comes flowinggg out your mouth and your mind (I should use curse words anyway. Profanity sounds more decent.LOL). Anyway, when s*** happens, you tend to be angry. Of course you are angry. Are there any people who are happy when s*** happens? You can call me and tell me your tips. Or your phoni-ness of not accepting the anger. Maybe all these quotes about failure and rising up from failure prevent me from getting mad (a higher level than being angry) because I always believe grass is greener than the other side. Other side of what exactly? Pessimism? Shoot, I am writing this article while being angry because s*** has happened, still happening and I don’t know when will it stops.

This is the first day of Ramadhan and my patience is really tested. God, can you help your fragile follower to be patient? To go back being an optimistic person? Although sometimes I think I am pretending to be tough but it really hurts inside? The pain is linear with time. I think when it comes to the limit when the Hooke’s Law is applied, it can never go back to its original form. Because it has deformed. And when it fails, it fails la. You have to find new material where it can’t deform. Like adding reinforcement materials perhaps. Ok, I should stop before I keep on merapiking. At least it looks like I can write in intellectual language. Not using dogs as analogy. Haha.

P/S: Happy Ramadhan people. 0-0 to all. May we be better this Ramadhan. Start with not cursing =)~

Ceritera episod 2~

‘To the world, you may be a person, but to a person, you may be the world.’ Ah. Corny. Phony. That was my thought when I saw a piece of paper with scrawny hand writing on my office desk. I’ve been receiving unbelievable corny notes these past few days. It’s a love quote every time. Let me recalled back:

Monday = We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
Tuesday = We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Wednesday = Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
Thursday = You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back

And today, Friday it’s this. I never know I can have a serial secret admirer like this. Not to say I’m not attractive enough, I like myself, but I’m very sceptical, and I’ll make sure everyone knows it. By I mean everyone, my colleague reads weekly column on relationship and love issue in the company’s weekly newsletter (Tittle: LOVE is just a word. And word can be ERASED). Dang. I’m sure this is one of the attempts to see if I’m really as heartless as I’ve seem to be. Putting the notes aside, I noticed there was something else written on the other page of the paper. ‘PS: You’ll soon know what it’s like to fall in LOVE.’ Haha. This person is being cynical. Laughing to myself, I check my e-mails and diaries for meeting updates. As a corporate communicator for my company, my jobs revolve around meetings, and more meetings. That sounds cool, but it’s tiring when you have to deal with the top management people who think they own the world. And with the press when disaster happens. Thank god I don’t have to deal with that just yet. Anyway, being a corporate communicator means you have to be a very good speaker. I used to be a timid kid but it all changed when I joined debate club. Call me a nerd or geek, but I’ve learnt to be more confident and more intellectual and that made me feel good. Thus, my job makes me feel good. Anyway, I met all kinds of people, especially men, and I know how they love the chasing games with women they like, and once they got them, the thrill was gone. And most of them love to repeat the cycle. Maybe that’s why I am so defensive about my principle when it comes to relationship. Because I’ve known and seen too much. My girlfriends love to set me up with guys who they think got what it takes to make me go head over heels. But, attractive to them was conceited to me. Good looking guys are arrogant, nerds and geeks are too dull, and everything in between them, well, just say they only set me up with the two groups. Because they think I’m out of league for ordinary men. And honestly, I agree though. I think I am intimidating to guys because I am very critical and judgemental. I never even like any guy. Except for my brother. Don’t let me start on talking about the dates he set me up with. Darn. I am difficult perhaps.



“Anna! Let’s go out tonight. We’ve asked the new cute guy to join us!” Shouted Lucy from across the office, one of my good friends. “What new cute guy???” She walked to my cubicle and put her coffee on my table. “Are you too ignorant? He’s been here for two weeks already. There he is.” Walking to the back of the office, tall, with broad shoulder, brown hair and eyes, and the teasing smile to Reen, the intern, I quickly make up a first impression: Good looking guys. You know which category he’ll fall in. “Adam! Come here. This is Anna, our rise and shining star of corporate communication. And she’s still single!” Lucy loves introducing me with the same sentences every time. Especially the ‘still single’ part. He diverted his walk towards my cubicle and as he draws closer, I can smell the Bvlgary perfume lingering and those smiles grow bigger it is annoying. Faking a smile, I draw out my hands and shake his. “Firm and grip. Total confident,” I made a mental note. “So you are the famous Anna? I keep hearing your name around. They sure miss you when you are not around.” Making a straight eye contact with me, this guy definitely is a flirt. “Oh, I know. Especially when a new guy comes. They will talk about me endlessly. Just don’t get annoyed ok.” Lucy winks at me as she stands behind him and give a thumb up sign. “Okay, I have a meeting in 10 minutes. I guess I’ll see you around Adam. And I’ll see you tonight Luce.” Taking my file and my briefcase, I smile at him again and walk towards the elevator. As I am about to enter the elevator, he shouted, “And I’ve read your column Anna, and I beg to differ! Love is not a word. It’s an expression of feeling. Feeling indescribable by word!” Winking before the door closes, his final words makes me think. And it will keep me thinking until I find a good argument to write my next article.

Another episode of my so-called fictional story. Walaupun banyak lagi kerja dan pembelajaran menanti. Dang.

The 2nd Best ConvoFair~

Everyone had a post on convofair 2008. So I guess I should follow the trend. It was indeed special. I was not involved in anything this year, but the people around me did. From the food sellers to the graduates, to family members and most special person, my idol Tun Mahathir. It was indeed memorable when one of the graduates was your sister. Yeay. Kak Long finally made it! Despite the hours we spent together in UTP was very limited, and sometimes it was not on good terms, it was great having your sister in the same uni as you. Yes, I would miss the time she was around, where I can bug her (despite her twisted mood swing) when I was feeling down, or needed help (mostly financial. Haha), she was there for me. I will remember the one time I went swimming with her and we got stuck inside the swimming pool, and there was a hot foreigner wanted to help (*drool*), and then we had dinner. Yep, that was one of those rare but precious moments I’ve spent with my beloved but unpredictable eldest sis. Hopefully you’ll do well in your future and I’ll see you at home? Ahah =).


Along receiving her scroll~


The cuzinsss~


Mama, nyanyah and along. Mama must be proud!=)~



Guys in our familia. Heh.~


Another person graduated where the memories with him were bigger than with my sister and any other seniors was Abang Shafiq. Shafiq was the closest senior I ever had in UTP besides my sis. To reminisce about the times spent with him would definitely involved big space because there would always involved lots and lots of talking (and gossiping. And kutuking. And debating. And arguing) with him. He made life at UTP so much fun by just hearing him talk. And it gets annoying at times, because he loved winning any argument (inilah balasan berkawan dengan debater. Haha). There was one time I was soo pissed off after debating with him on…MAWI. Wahaha. That was hilarious (And stupid. Really). Anyway, those conversations, those outings, karaoke-ing were indeed very special to me. He was around since I first stepped in this university until the day he graduated. Abang Capiq, I (and I’m sure all of US juniors too) will definitely miss having you here, and those days spent with you at convofair (including the reason why I was rushing to see Nabil. Ehem. Ehem) would be remembered. Always. Just try imagining Miri as Kuala Lumpur and you'll get your flawless skin back :p . And don’t be TOO sensitive. Haha. (no pics of shafiq yet. If you happen to read capiq, send the pics to me ok!).

Anyway, kudos to my friends (JHOKS and ABANG BUJANG FINAL SEM) for their OMG-You-Guys-Were-So-Rajin-To-Sell-Foods efforts. I went to both booths (sorry for not being much of a help due to many activities planned for convofair :p) and I was satisfied with both. Korang-korang neh ley bukak restoran one fine day =). Moreover, one more thing that made this the 2nd best convofair (of course my own convocation will be THE BEST. Haha) was the fact I’ve got to salam my favoritest idol in the whole wide world. Tun, you’ve made my day. I hope I’ll get to see you again next year. Ok, that’s all for the convofair entry. Back to the real world. Deng.


Owh, beloved TUN MAHATHIR MOHAMAD. I heart u! =) (gambar atas neh curi from org.keke)



Along, my one-of-a-kind sis on the DAY~

Ceritera~

“Hello. I need to talk to you. Please pick up the phone. Anna…”. Yawning, I pick up the phone and heard loud and clear sobs from the other end of the line. I sit up, still yawning, trying to talk properly while avoiding from dozing off again. “Tasya darling, what’s wrong? Did he leave you again?” I can hear the sobs getting clearer, and honestly, a pain to my ear. “I don’t know what went wrong again Anna. He is definitely a b******. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like putting him inside the bin, throw him into the shredder and hopefully his cry for pain will bring a smile to my blotchy, miserable face. I’ve put up with his behaviour for ages. I deserve better…” the cries getting louder by minute. Putting the phone aside, I’ve asked my brain to generate some consoling words I always able to get at these kinds of moment. Yes, I get this moment often. I was (and still am) supposed to be a great listener and a great advisor to friends in need. Especially when it comes to relationship crisis. “Anna, are you there? I need you to tell me what to do.” Geez. Great. I’ve dreaded that question every time, but I have to answer them eventually. Inhale deeply; I put the phone back to my ear. “Dear, you know how many times I told you he was a good for nothing human being. And how I always said second chance and that’s it? You’ve been there for that jerk far too many times sweetie. And I will be super angry if you ever melt again once he gives you flowers, chocolates and those favourite cupcakes of yours with ‘I love you honey, I’m sorry I’ve screwed up’ scripture all over them. Next time you ever think of going back to him you have to choose between me and him. OK?” I felt good saying those words because I had enough of her asshole boyfriend treating her like some kind of pet he can pamper or kick anytime he wants to. “Ok, I’ll do that. I just need to talk to my BFF now. I see you tomorrow ok? I never want to love a guy ever again. I mean it.” “Ok darling, you have a good rest ok. We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Bye.” Click. The conversation ended. And the last sentence? About never love a guy again? Bull****. Women always said the same thing every time they fight, every time the guys forgot their anniversaries, birthdays and every time messy break-ups occurred. Eventually, when a guy starts flirt with you, open the door for you, write a love song for you, you forget everything you ever vowed for and it’s falling in love all over again. Then fights, then heartbreaks; endless repeating cycle. To be saying all these at 4 am in the morning is making me angry. And deprived. Not because I don’t want to help my best friend, it is because I’m tired of hearing the stupidity a woman can achieved. Yes, I’m single. And I’m a feminist. I don’t believe in love. I believe in marriage though. But it will be based on agreement of two adults sensible enough to believe love doesn’t exist. Only a well-planned relationship based on wanting to start a family so we can continue the breed of our genetics. Purely scientific and practical right? That’s what I’m looking for. Hopefully I’ll find it somewhere. Maybe in the next 5 years. I have missions to accomplish. Dreams to achieve for the satisfaction of myself. And mine alone. These thinking of mine should stop now. I blame love. Another day, another episode. Sigh.

When I write, I write sesuka hati. Then it’s originally mine right? Hehe. An attempt of writing another fiction on Sunday’s evening.