Ceritera~

“Hello. I need to talk to you. Please pick up the phone. Anna…”. Yawning, I pick up the phone and heard loud and clear sobs from the other end of the line. I sit up, still yawning, trying to talk properly while avoiding from dozing off again. “Tasya darling, what’s wrong? Did he leave you again?” I can hear the sobs getting clearer, and honestly, a pain to my ear. “I don’t know what went wrong again Anna. He is definitely a b******. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like putting him inside the bin, throw him into the shredder and hopefully his cry for pain will bring a smile to my blotchy, miserable face. I’ve put up with his behaviour for ages. I deserve better…” the cries getting louder by minute. Putting the phone aside, I’ve asked my brain to generate some consoling words I always able to get at these kinds of moment. Yes, I get this moment often. I was (and still am) supposed to be a great listener and a great advisor to friends in need. Especially when it comes to relationship crisis. “Anna, are you there? I need you to tell me what to do.” Geez. Great. I’ve dreaded that question every time, but I have to answer them eventually. Inhale deeply; I put the phone back to my ear. “Dear, you know how many times I told you he was a good for nothing human being. And how I always said second chance and that’s it? You’ve been there for that jerk far too many times sweetie. And I will be super angry if you ever melt again once he gives you flowers, chocolates and those favourite cupcakes of yours with ‘I love you honey, I’m sorry I’ve screwed up’ scripture all over them. Next time you ever think of going back to him you have to choose between me and him. OK?” I felt good saying those words because I had enough of her asshole boyfriend treating her like some kind of pet he can pamper or kick anytime he wants to. “Ok, I’ll do that. I just need to talk to my BFF now. I see you tomorrow ok? I never want to love a guy ever again. I mean it.” “Ok darling, you have a good rest ok. We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Bye.” Click. The conversation ended. And the last sentence? About never love a guy again? Bull****. Women always said the same thing every time they fight, every time the guys forgot their anniversaries, birthdays and every time messy break-ups occurred. Eventually, when a guy starts flirt with you, open the door for you, write a love song for you, you forget everything you ever vowed for and it’s falling in love all over again. Then fights, then heartbreaks; endless repeating cycle. To be saying all these at 4 am in the morning is making me angry. And deprived. Not because I don’t want to help my best friend, it is because I’m tired of hearing the stupidity a woman can achieved. Yes, I’m single. And I’m a feminist. I don’t believe in love. I believe in marriage though. But it will be based on agreement of two adults sensible enough to believe love doesn’t exist. Only a well-planned relationship based on wanting to start a family so we can continue the breed of our genetics. Purely scientific and practical right? That’s what I’m looking for. Hopefully I’ll find it somewhere. Maybe in the next 5 years. I have missions to accomplish. Dreams to achieve for the satisfaction of myself. And mine alone. These thinking of mine should stop now. I blame love. Another day, another episode. Sigh.

When I write, I write sesuka hati. Then it’s originally mine right? Hehe. An attempt of writing another fiction on Sunday’s evening.