Ceritera episod 2~

‘To the world, you may be a person, but to a person, you may be the world.’ Ah. Corny. Phony. That was my thought when I saw a piece of paper with scrawny hand writing on my office desk. I’ve been receiving unbelievable corny notes these past few days. It’s a love quote every time. Let me recalled back:

Monday = We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.
Tuesday = We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
Wednesday = Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illumines it.
Thursday = You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back

And today, Friday it’s this. I never know I can have a serial secret admirer like this. Not to say I’m not attractive enough, I like myself, but I’m very sceptical, and I’ll make sure everyone knows it. By I mean everyone, my colleague reads weekly column on relationship and love issue in the company’s weekly newsletter (Tittle: LOVE is just a word. And word can be ERASED). Dang. I’m sure this is one of the attempts to see if I’m really as heartless as I’ve seem to be. Putting the notes aside, I noticed there was something else written on the other page of the paper. ‘PS: You’ll soon know what it’s like to fall in LOVE.’ Haha. This person is being cynical. Laughing to myself, I check my e-mails and diaries for meeting updates. As a corporate communicator for my company, my jobs revolve around meetings, and more meetings. That sounds cool, but it’s tiring when you have to deal with the top management people who think they own the world. And with the press when disaster happens. Thank god I don’t have to deal with that just yet. Anyway, being a corporate communicator means you have to be a very good speaker. I used to be a timid kid but it all changed when I joined debate club. Call me a nerd or geek, but I’ve learnt to be more confident and more intellectual and that made me feel good. Thus, my job makes me feel good. Anyway, I met all kinds of people, especially men, and I know how they love the chasing games with women they like, and once they got them, the thrill was gone. And most of them love to repeat the cycle. Maybe that’s why I am so defensive about my principle when it comes to relationship. Because I’ve known and seen too much. My girlfriends love to set me up with guys who they think got what it takes to make me go head over heels. But, attractive to them was conceited to me. Good looking guys are arrogant, nerds and geeks are too dull, and everything in between them, well, just say they only set me up with the two groups. Because they think I’m out of league for ordinary men. And honestly, I agree though. I think I am intimidating to guys because I am very critical and judgemental. I never even like any guy. Except for my brother. Don’t let me start on talking about the dates he set me up with. Darn. I am difficult perhaps.



“Anna! Let’s go out tonight. We’ve asked the new cute guy to join us!” Shouted Lucy from across the office, one of my good friends. “What new cute guy???” She walked to my cubicle and put her coffee on my table. “Are you too ignorant? He’s been here for two weeks already. There he is.” Walking to the back of the office, tall, with broad shoulder, brown hair and eyes, and the teasing smile to Reen, the intern, I quickly make up a first impression: Good looking guys. You know which category he’ll fall in. “Adam! Come here. This is Anna, our rise and shining star of corporate communication. And she’s still single!” Lucy loves introducing me with the same sentences every time. Especially the ‘still single’ part. He diverted his walk towards my cubicle and as he draws closer, I can smell the Bvlgary perfume lingering and those smiles grow bigger it is annoying. Faking a smile, I draw out my hands and shake his. “Firm and grip. Total confident,” I made a mental note. “So you are the famous Anna? I keep hearing your name around. They sure miss you when you are not around.” Making a straight eye contact with me, this guy definitely is a flirt. “Oh, I know. Especially when a new guy comes. They will talk about me endlessly. Just don’t get annoyed ok.” Lucy winks at me as she stands behind him and give a thumb up sign. “Okay, I have a meeting in 10 minutes. I guess I’ll see you around Adam. And I’ll see you tonight Luce.” Taking my file and my briefcase, I smile at him again and walk towards the elevator. As I am about to enter the elevator, he shouted, “And I’ve read your column Anna, and I beg to differ! Love is not a word. It’s an expression of feeling. Feeling indescribable by word!” Winking before the door closes, his final words makes me think. And it will keep me thinking until I find a good argument to write my next article.

Another episode of my so-called fictional story. Walaupun banyak lagi kerja dan pembelajaran menanti. Dang.

The 2nd Best ConvoFair~

Everyone had a post on convofair 2008. So I guess I should follow the trend. It was indeed special. I was not involved in anything this year, but the people around me did. From the food sellers to the graduates, to family members and most special person, my idol Tun Mahathir. It was indeed memorable when one of the graduates was your sister. Yeay. Kak Long finally made it! Despite the hours we spent together in UTP was very limited, and sometimes it was not on good terms, it was great having your sister in the same uni as you. Yes, I would miss the time she was around, where I can bug her (despite her twisted mood swing) when I was feeling down, or needed help (mostly financial. Haha), she was there for me. I will remember the one time I went swimming with her and we got stuck inside the swimming pool, and there was a hot foreigner wanted to help (*drool*), and then we had dinner. Yep, that was one of those rare but precious moments I’ve spent with my beloved but unpredictable eldest sis. Hopefully you’ll do well in your future and I’ll see you at home? Ahah =).


Along receiving her scroll~


The cuzinsss~


Mama, nyanyah and along. Mama must be proud!=)~



Guys in our familia. Heh.~


Another person graduated where the memories with him were bigger than with my sister and any other seniors was Abang Shafiq. Shafiq was the closest senior I ever had in UTP besides my sis. To reminisce about the times spent with him would definitely involved big space because there would always involved lots and lots of talking (and gossiping. And kutuking. And debating. And arguing) with him. He made life at UTP so much fun by just hearing him talk. And it gets annoying at times, because he loved winning any argument (inilah balasan berkawan dengan debater. Haha). There was one time I was soo pissed off after debating with him on…MAWI. Wahaha. That was hilarious (And stupid. Really). Anyway, those conversations, those outings, karaoke-ing were indeed very special to me. He was around since I first stepped in this university until the day he graduated. Abang Capiq, I (and I’m sure all of US juniors too) will definitely miss having you here, and those days spent with you at convofair (including the reason why I was rushing to see Nabil. Ehem. Ehem) would be remembered. Always. Just try imagining Miri as Kuala Lumpur and you'll get your flawless skin back :p . And don’t be TOO sensitive. Haha. (no pics of shafiq yet. If you happen to read capiq, send the pics to me ok!).

Anyway, kudos to my friends (JHOKS and ABANG BUJANG FINAL SEM) for their OMG-You-Guys-Were-So-Rajin-To-Sell-Foods efforts. I went to both booths (sorry for not being much of a help due to many activities planned for convofair :p) and I was satisfied with both. Korang-korang neh ley bukak restoran one fine day =). Moreover, one more thing that made this the 2nd best convofair (of course my own convocation will be THE BEST. Haha) was the fact I’ve got to salam my favoritest idol in the whole wide world. Tun, you’ve made my day. I hope I’ll get to see you again next year. Ok, that’s all for the convofair entry. Back to the real world. Deng.


Owh, beloved TUN MAHATHIR MOHAMAD. I heart u! =) (gambar atas neh curi from org.keke)



Along, my one-of-a-kind sis on the DAY~

Ceritera~

“Hello. I need to talk to you. Please pick up the phone. Anna…”. Yawning, I pick up the phone and heard loud and clear sobs from the other end of the line. I sit up, still yawning, trying to talk properly while avoiding from dozing off again. “Tasya darling, what’s wrong? Did he leave you again?” I can hear the sobs getting clearer, and honestly, a pain to my ear. “I don’t know what went wrong again Anna. He is definitely a b******. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like putting him inside the bin, throw him into the shredder and hopefully his cry for pain will bring a smile to my blotchy, miserable face. I’ve put up with his behaviour for ages. I deserve better…” the cries getting louder by minute. Putting the phone aside, I’ve asked my brain to generate some consoling words I always able to get at these kinds of moment. Yes, I get this moment often. I was (and still am) supposed to be a great listener and a great advisor to friends in need. Especially when it comes to relationship crisis. “Anna, are you there? I need you to tell me what to do.” Geez. Great. I’ve dreaded that question every time, but I have to answer them eventually. Inhale deeply; I put the phone back to my ear. “Dear, you know how many times I told you he was a good for nothing human being. And how I always said second chance and that’s it? You’ve been there for that jerk far too many times sweetie. And I will be super angry if you ever melt again once he gives you flowers, chocolates and those favourite cupcakes of yours with ‘I love you honey, I’m sorry I’ve screwed up’ scripture all over them. Next time you ever think of going back to him you have to choose between me and him. OK?” I felt good saying those words because I had enough of her asshole boyfriend treating her like some kind of pet he can pamper or kick anytime he wants to. “Ok, I’ll do that. I just need to talk to my BFF now. I see you tomorrow ok? I never want to love a guy ever again. I mean it.” “Ok darling, you have a good rest ok. We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Bye.” Click. The conversation ended. And the last sentence? About never love a guy again? Bull****. Women always said the same thing every time they fight, every time the guys forgot their anniversaries, birthdays and every time messy break-ups occurred. Eventually, when a guy starts flirt with you, open the door for you, write a love song for you, you forget everything you ever vowed for and it’s falling in love all over again. Then fights, then heartbreaks; endless repeating cycle. To be saying all these at 4 am in the morning is making me angry. And deprived. Not because I don’t want to help my best friend, it is because I’m tired of hearing the stupidity a woman can achieved. Yes, I’m single. And I’m a feminist. I don’t believe in love. I believe in marriage though. But it will be based on agreement of two adults sensible enough to believe love doesn’t exist. Only a well-planned relationship based on wanting to start a family so we can continue the breed of our genetics. Purely scientific and practical right? That’s what I’m looking for. Hopefully I’ll find it somewhere. Maybe in the next 5 years. I have missions to accomplish. Dreams to achieve for the satisfaction of myself. And mine alone. These thinking of mine should stop now. I blame love. Another day, another episode. Sigh.

When I write, I write sesuka hati. Then it’s originally mine right? Hehe. An attempt of writing another fiction on Sunday’s evening.

Nerd and Cool~

Hehe. Teetos, at least I wasn't a highly dorky non-nerd :p.

Nerd but cool? KOOL. I looked like a nerd (especially in my primary school days), but didn't act like one. Minus the awards I won for academic excellence. Lol. Maybe because I wanted to appear cool. Or perhaps I was influenced by the common perspective of common people who said nerd was not cool. This proven them wrong. I remembered getting a one year free meals from ANW (which situated like 3 minutes from KGV) for getting Anugerah Kurikulum in my primary school. How cool was that to be a nerd? Then I realized it was not bad after all. But my conscience and confidence level were terrible then. I conform to judgement of people, thus I stopped making efforts in my studies. And enjoyed (still enjoying) life more. Hence, the cool-light weight nerd people. Anyway, I don't mind. I LOVE IT!

>:D

Payeh's Post is Mind Boggling Haha~

I was lost in a world of emotional rollercoaster lately. Also, the memory lane needs some polishing so it will be remembered effortlessly later on in my old days. To put those into easier terms, I had relationship adjustments and also friendship adjustments. He went to Dubai, thus I have to be strong. My cousin said there are two things that matters: Fate and Faith. Yeah, I think that says it all. Tuhan yang tentukan jodoh, and that depends on us to find and stick with that jodoh that we decide. And it takes a LOT of efforts. Please be optimistic Zainur Azwin (Note to self).

Ok, back to the second adjustment. Friendship. I want to spend as much as possible time with my friends and so far it turned out good (if not great by my standard). So we did the bbq for mechi. Impressively more than half mechi mates came. Not bad for last minute planning. It was simple but fun. But the interview session by Freestylers was quite an embarrassment. Deng, thank god I didn’t spill some secret crushes to the whole world. I am a terrible liar you see. Which is good and bad. Anyway, I did spill some deepest darkest secrets later that night in a very long conversation with people I hardly hang out with. I am now questioning my honesty (or stupidity) of the things I’ve said. Well, it had happened. So, I’ll just pray those people will let those statements stayed there. I know I’m not perfect anyway. And spending time with housemates makes me realize they have been my friends for 4 to 5 years now. And it is sweet sour relationship, with drama sometimes, but eventually, in the end, they were the people I treasured the most =).

Payeh’s post generates my mood to write anyway. His post is witty, but vain (promote neh). Sometimes, reading other people blog inspires you to start writing again. Although it is crappy and not significant enough. Anyway, the main reason to blog is to express yourself in the moment right. Maybe I’m not a frequent blogger, but the points in a post that matters to me. Again, early mornings after hours of sleeping in the afternoon will help unblock the writer’s block. Haha. Ok, later alligator!


"It's the friends you can call at 3 am that matters"